If your child goes to after school care

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 bous who love sports. We tried after care for one year and it was misesrable. We moved to an AuPair so our boys could play with their friends at the playground, come home, do homework, relax, and then go to their sports practice. Often between the 2 boys each season they play one travel sport and one rec sport, so basically running 2 sports each (total of 4 ) each season.

Yes thr AuPair is expensive, but my bottom line can take a hit so that my job doesnt have to intrude on their childhood. To put it honestly, a child in aftercare is keeping adult like work hours. That one year, my boys were hotribly exhausted and DH and i were always in a frantic rush. No more of that.

Well, good for you if you can afford it. Unfortunately for a lot of us who do after school care, this is not the case. Just realize that you are one of the lucky ones.

And, PP's kids' experience of aftercare as exhausting and "adult like work hours" is not every kid's experience of aftercare. My kids love it there and ask to stay for it even on days I work at home because they want to play with their friends.

They might like it, but they are keeping adult like work hours. Don't delude yourself. It's simple math. These kids are grinding away.

My quibble is with defining it as "work" hours. Yes, they are there until 5-5:30 but my kids aren't "working" at aftercare, "grinding away" (what kind of aftercare program are your kids in?!) They get a snack, maybe spend 15 minutes on homework, run around with their friends, start a soccer game, create something in the art room, and/or find a cozy spot to read in the library, depending on the day. It's what kids should have time to do -- unstructured, lightly supervised play with their peers. When I happen to pick them up early they complain because they aren't working, they are playing and it's more fun there than at home with only each other to play with. Maybe other schools are more regimented at aftercare but that's not the experience at our school.

These kids are exhausted. They don't get any downtime. Just calling a spade a spade. You do what you have to do, but to suggest that it is somehow ideal is laughable. If it were so ideal, then parents would spend the money and send their kids to aftercare even if they didn't work or even if they had access to home care. Parents have no shortage of money to do so if this was somehow an advantageous arrangement.

Run along and make daddy a martini.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 bous who love sports. We tried after care for one year and it was misesrable. We moved to an AuPair so our boys could play with their friends at the playground, come home, do homework, relax, and then go to their sports practice. Often between the 2 boys each season they play one travel sport and one rec sport, so basically running 2 sports each (total of 4 ) each season.

Yes thr AuPair is expensive, but my bottom line can take a hit so that my job doesnt have to intrude on their childhood. To put it honestly, a child in aftercare is keeping adult like work hours. That one year, my boys were hotribly exhausted and DH and i were always in a frantic rush. No more of that.

Well, good for you if you can afford it. Unfortunately for a lot of us who do after school care, this is not the case. Just realize that you are one of the lucky ones.

And, PP's kids' experience of aftercare as exhausting and "adult like work hours" is not every kid's experience of aftercare. My kids love it there and ask to stay for it even on days I work at home because they want to play with their friends.

They might like it, but they are keeping adult like work hours. Don't delude yourself. It's simple math. These kids are grinding away.

My quibble is with defining it as "work" hours. Yes, they are there until 5-5:30 but my kids aren't "working" at aftercare, "grinding away" (what kind of aftercare program are your kids in?!) They get a snack, maybe spend 15 minutes on homework, run around with their friends, start a soccer game, create something in the art room, and/or find a cozy spot to read in the library, depending on the day. It's what kids should have time to do -- unstructured, lightly supervised play with their peers. When I happen to pick them up early they complain because they aren't working, they are playing and it's more fun there than at home with only each other to play with. Maybe other schools are more regimented at aftercare but that's not the experience at our school.

These kids are exhausted. They don't get any downtime. Just calling a spade a spade. You do what you have to do, but to suggest that it is somehow ideal is laughable. If it were so ideal, then parents would spend the money and send their kids to aftercare even if they didn't work or even if they had access to home care. Parents have no shortage of money to do so if this was somehow an advantageous arrangement.

Actually, I believe in Arlington Co. schools, many parents do exactly this; from my understanding, afterschool through the schools doesn't have as strict requirements as FCPS does. People can sort of do drop-in care and I understand there are a fair amount of SAH parents who send their kids to aftercare because they want to hang out with their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 bous who love sports. We tried after care for one year and it was misesrable. We moved to an AuPair so our boys could play with their friends at the playground, come home, do homework, relax, and then go to their sports practice. Often between the 2 boys each season they play one travel sport and one rec sport, so basically running 2 sports each (total of 4 ) each season.

Yes thr AuPair is expensive, but my bottom line can take a hit so that my job doesnt have to intrude on their childhood. To put it honestly, a child in aftercare is keeping adult like work hours. That one year, my boys were hotribly exhausted and DH and i were always in a frantic rush. No more of that.

Well, good for you if you can afford it. Unfortunately for a lot of us who do after school care, this is not the case. Just realize that you are one of the lucky ones.

And, PP's kids' experience of aftercare as exhausting and "adult like work hours" is not every kid's experience of aftercare. My kids love it there and ask to stay for it even on days I work at home because they want to play with their friends.

They might like it, but they are keeping adult like work hours. Don't delude yourself. It's simple math. These kids are grinding away.

My quibble is with defining it as "work" hours. Yes, they are there until 5-5:30 but my kids aren't "working" at aftercare, "grinding away" (what kind of aftercare program are your kids in?!) They get a snack, maybe spend 15 minutes on homework, run around with their friends, start a soccer game, create something in the art room, and/or find a cozy spot to read in the library, depending on the day. It's what kids should have time to do -- unstructured, lightly supervised play with their peers. When I happen to pick them up early they complain because they aren't working, they are playing and it's more fun there than at home with only each other to play with. Maybe other schools are more regimented at aftercare but that's not the experience at our school.

These kids are exhausted. They don't get any downtime. Just calling a spade a spade. You do what you have to do, but to suggest that it is somehow ideal is laughable. If it were so ideal, then parents would spend the money and send their kids to aftercare even if they didn't work or even if they had access to home care. Parents have no shortage of money to do so if this was somehow an advantageous arrangement.

Actually, I believe in Arlington Co. schools, many parents do exactly this; from my understanding, afterschool through the schools doesn't have as strict requirements as FCPS does. People can sort of do drop-in care and I understand there are a fair amount of SAH parents who send their kids to aftercare because they want to hang out with their friends.

I am one of those parents.

I work part-time and could have managed things so my kids (ages 5 & 8) came home every day instead of sending them to three days a week of aftercare. But they love being with their friends, and they also love choosing from all the different options, including things like cooking, mad science and indoor soccer AND totally unstructured choices that are really just hanging out playing board games, cards or foozball and making their own fun with whoever they choose.

To me, this is the 2016 version of the after school "hanging out in the neighborhood" I did 30+ years ago. Back then, everyone was home after school. And I mean everyone! Our mothers let us ride bikes wherever and roam free to meet up and play. In my neighborhood today, that's just not an option. Kids are either in aftercare (together!) or being driven to sports para tides, music lessons or other enrichment. In order for my kids to play or socialize after school, it would be limited to a handful of at home friends in other neighborhoods and would have to be facilitated by the parents.

No thanks. I'd rather my kids have the independence of choosing among all sorts of different playmates and activities (or self-regulating by chilling out and playing monopoly) at aftercare 3x a week. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 bous who love sports. We tried after care for one year and it was misesrable. We moved to an AuPair so our boys could play with their friends at the playground, come home, do homework, relax, and then go to their sports practice. Often between the 2 boys each season they play one travel sport and one rec sport, so basically running 2 sports each (total of 4 ) each season.

Yes thr AuPair is expensive, but my bottom line can take a hit so that my job doesnt have to intrude on their childhood. To put it honestly, a child in aftercare is keeping adult like work hours. That one year, my boys were hotribly exhausted and DH and i were always in a frantic rush. No more of that.

Well, good for you if you can afford it. Unfortunately for a lot of us who do after school care, this is not the case. Just realize that you are one of the lucky ones.

And, PP's kids' experience of aftercare as exhausting and "adult like work hours" is not every kid's experience of aftercare. My kids love it there and ask to stay for it even on days I work at home because they want to play with their friends.

They might like it, but they are keeping adult like work hours. Don't delude yourself. It's simple math. These kids are grinding away.

My quibble is with defining it as "work" hours. Yes, they are there until 5-5:30 but my kids aren't "working" at aftercare, "grinding away" (what kind of aftercare program are your kids in?!) They get a snack, maybe spend 15 minutes on homework, run around with their friends, start a soccer game, create something in the art room, and/or find a cozy spot to read in the library, depending on the day. It's what kids should have time to do -- unstructured, lightly supervised play with their peers. When I happen to pick them up early they complain because they aren't working, they are playing and it's more fun there than at home with only each other to play with. Maybe other schools are more regimented at aftercare but that's not the experience at our school.

These kids are exhausted. They don't get any downtime. Just calling a spade a spade. You do what you have to do, but to suggest that it is somehow ideal is laughable. If it were so ideal, then parents would spend the money and send their kids to aftercare even if they didn't work or even if they had access to home care. Parents have no shortage of money to do so if this was somehow an advantageous arrangement.

Actually, I believe in Arlington Co. schools, many parents do exactly this; from my understanding, afterschool through the schools doesn't have as strict requirements as FCPS does. People can sort of do drop-in care and I understand there are a fair amount of SAH parents who send their kids to aftercare because they want to hang out with their friends.

I'm a teacher in ffxco. This is not the norm in my high SES school. Parents have more money than they know what to do with. Most all of the kids are in SACC until the bitter end, 615. All working parents, no trend of SAH parents signing their kids up. The SAP and AuPair/Nannies hang at the playground for a while after school while their kids play with other kids who have thr luxury to go home afterwards ( and I'm saying this as a working mom myself). People do what they have to do, but the poster is correct, these kids are keeping adult career like hours, easily 9 hour days. As much fun as SACC is, the kids are absolutely spent. Afterschool programs are not downtime. It is noisy and is organized chaos. It is very stimulating after an already stimulating day.

[Anonymous]

Yes to aftercare and sometimes does an activity at school. They run either 4-5 or 4-6. He just walks from the aftercare room to the activity room, and then back to aftercare. Works well.
We also sometimes do one extra activity that isn't school-based. One evening a week.
Don't feel like we are overscheduled. The activities at school usually run for 6 weeks at a time, and he does maybe 2 a year, so it isn't constant. The off-campus extra is just one night a week for an hour. Very doable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I believe in Arlington Co. schools, many parents do exactly this; from my understanding, afterschool through the schools doesn't have as strict requirements as FCPS does. People can sort of do drop-in care and I understand there are a fair amount of SAH parents who send their kids to aftercare because they want to hang out with their friends.

I'm a teacher in ffxco. This is not the norm in my high SES school. Parents have more money than they know what to do with. Most all of the kids are in SACC until the bitter end, 615. All working parents, no trend of SAH parents signing their kids up. The SAP and AuPair/Nannies hang at the playground for a while after school while their kids play with other kids who have thr luxury to go home afterwards ( and I'm saying this as a working mom myself). People do what they have to do, but the poster is correct, these kids are keeping adult career like hours, easily 9 hour days. As much fun as SACC is, the kids are absolutely spent. Afterschool programs are not downtime. It is noisy and is organized chaos. It is very stimulating after an already stimulating day.

That's because SACC doesn't allow SAH parents to use SACC. Arlington County does, though.

[Anonymous]

To put it honestly, a child in aftercare is keeping adult like work hours. That one year, my boys were hotribly exhausted and DH and i were always in a frantic rush. No more of that.

Wow. My son is in aftercare and that is where he had made all of his friends from school, not from the 15 minutes of recess free time per day. He could certainly go home and sit all afternoon with my 75 year old parents watching cartoons for zero dollars, but aftercare is better for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm a teacher in ffxco. This is not the norm in my high SES school. Parents have more money than they know what to do with. Most all of the kids are in SACC until the bitter end, 615. All working parents, no trend of SAH parents signing their kids up. The SAP and AuPair/Nannies hang at the playground for a while after school while their kids play with other kids who have thr luxury to go home afterwards ( and I'm saying this as a working mom myself). People do what they have to do, but the poster is correct, these kids are keeping adult career like hours, easily 9 hour days. As much fun as SACC is, the kids are absolutely spent. Afterschool programs are not downtime. It is noisy and is organized chaos. It is very stimulating after an already stimulating day.

That may be your school's experience but that doesn't mean it's everyone's. I was concerned about extended day for my introverted DD because she needs a lot of solo time. We figured we'd try it and if it didn't work for her we switch to a sitter at home. I was surprised that she loves it. She made two good friends at school who also both go to extended day. It seems they spend a lot of time out of the playground making up adventures and when she wants some quiet she goes to the library to curl up in a beanbag and read or write stories. When I pick her up around 5-5:30 she's usually in the library. I do think it would be a long day for a kid who is at aftercare and then goes to sports or other extracurriculars several nights a week but it's silly to blame that situation on extended day when it's as much as issue from the other activities.

[Anonymous]

My daughter goes to aftercare and likes it. She has soccer practice 3 days a week, so she's often in there for only an hour. On days when I telework or stay home, she rides the bus home instead of doing extended day.

She likes it there, though. Most of her friends are in extended day with her, and sometimes when I go to pick her up, she's having so much fun she doesn't want to leave. They play outside, do arts & crafts projects, etc. Our staff is really good and very engaged, so I feel zero guilt about using that option vs. a nanny. (which I can't afford anyway.)