Snapchat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked parents give their 6 graders phones with full internet and social media use. they are 11yrs old. Tell them to go outside and play instead of snapchatting and watching porn.

Oh wait, it is too dangerous to go outside and play. Much safer to give them the entire internet on the phone.

This. Middle schoolers do not need smart phones. Flip phones do just fine.

--mother of a 12th grader and a 7th grader

Do you restrict your children to only things they need?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost impossible to monitor.

My kids have it but they are older, it makes me nervous and I randomly check it.

I don't check the junior in HS anymore, but I check the younger one. But he could easily tell kids when they can send bad stuff.
also there are creepers on snapchat (and Instagram) trying to get naked pictures.

You can follow Instagram so I would start with that,but there is chat that can't be monitored.

How do you randomly check snapchat? You just open his unopened messages?

You CAN monitor the direct messages on Instagram. My DH and I each have our DS' Instagram account loaded onto our Iphones. We see everything on DS' Instagram account, that DS sees.

[Anonymous]

My kid has Instagram and Snapchat - we let him get Instagram when he was 13 and had straight As, Snapchat when he was 14 for the same reason. Instagram is not really a problem - I can see and read everything and do check his account at least once a week - not too much to worry about as there is a clear trail. Snapchat is different. As another poster pointed out, if you check the messages, they will say "read" and your kid - and the sender - will know that the message has been read and will dissapear. While I don't think my kid is doing anything he shouldn't on Snapchat (unless I am being very naive), there is certainly a much stronger likelihood of it happening. In fact, last weekend we got in a huge fight with my seemingly intelligent kid about the fact that pictures on Snapchat never go away - he just wouldn't believe us even after we showed him articles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a criminal defense attorney. We are going to buy a beach house soon and one of our potential names for it is, "$napchat." I have a teen and I don't allow snapchat and a few other apps at this point.

Thank you for posting this! I am astounded by anyone who thinks that Snapchat is okay for kids under 18. Our 12.5 yo DS told me yesterday that one of his friends added a new girl to their Instagram direct message thread -- Mia Khalifa!! (If you don't know who Mia Khalifa is look her up.) I am not a prude, far from it, but social media, tweens, and young teens are a very bad combination.

Commonsense Media recommends Snapchat for 16+
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/app-reviews/snapchat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked parents give their 6 graders phones with full internet and social media use. they are 11yrs old. Tell them to go outside and play instead of snapchatting and watching porn.

Oh wait, it is too dangerous to go outside and play. Much safer to give them the entire internet on the phone.

This. Middle schoolers do not need smart phones. Flip phones do just fine.

--mother of a 12th grader and a 7th grader

Do you restrict your children to only things they need?

No. But my conversations with many parents of middle schoolers is that they are under the impression that their children do, indeed, "need" smart phones and that is why they have them. I am simply providing another viewpoint. I hear that middle schoolers "need" them in order to keep up with their friends socially, that they will be outcasts if they don't have them, that they are necessary from a safety perspective, that they have to have them because flip phones are available on their family plan, that increasingly they are used in the classroom.

To all this I say: Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked parents give their 6 graders phones with full internet and social media use. they are 11yrs old. Tell them to go outside and play instead of snapchatting and watching porn.

Oh wait, it is too dangerous to go outside and play. Much safer to give them the entire internet on the phone.

This. Middle schoolers do not need smart phones. Flip phones do just fine.

--mother of a 12th grader and a 7th grader

Do you restrict your children to only things they need?

No. But my conversations with many parents of middle schoolers is that they are under the impression that their children do, indeed, "need" smart phones and that is why they have them. I am simply providing another viewpoint. I hear that middle schoolers "need" them in order to keep up with their friends socially, that they will be outcasts if they don't have them, that they are necessary from a safety perspective, that they have to have them because flip phones are available on their family plan, that increasingly they are used in the classroom.

To all this I say: Nope.

I agree and will go further: Not even my high schoolers have smart phones. Flip phones work for them, too. My DC1 tells me he might be the only kid in his entire high school who uses a flip phone. Luckily, he inherited the not-giving-a-crap-what-others-are-doing gene from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked parents give their 6 graders phones with full internet and social media use. they are 11yrs old. Tell them to go outside and play instead of snapchatting and watching porn.

Oh wait, it is too dangerous to go outside and play. Much safer to give them the entire internet on the phone.

This. Middle schoolers do not need smart phones. Flip phones do just fine.

--mother of a 12th grader and a 7th grader

Do you restrict your children to only things they need?

No. But my conversations with many parents of middle schoolers is that they are under the impression that their children do, indeed, "need" smart phones and that is why they have them. I am simply providing another viewpoint. I hear that middle schoolers "need" them in order to keep up with their friends socially, that they will be outcasts if they don't have them, that they are necessary from a safety perspective, that they have to have them because flip phones are available on their family plan, that increasingly they are used in the classroom.

To all this I say: Nope.

Do you live in the city or suburbia aka the land where children are always tethered to an adult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked parents give their 6 graders phones with full internet and social media use. they are 11yrs old. Tell them to go outside and play instead of snapchatting and watching porn.

Oh wait, it is too dangerous to go outside and play. Much safer to give them the entire internet on the phone.

This. Middle schoolers do not need smart phones. Flip phones do just fine.

--mother of a 12th grader and a 7th grader

Do you restrict your children to only things they need?

No. But my conversations with many parents of middle schoolers is that they are under the impression that their children do, indeed, "need" smart phones and that is why they have them. I am simply providing another viewpoint. I hear that middle schoolers "need" them in order to keep up with their friends socially, that they will be outcasts if they don't have them, that they are necessary from a safety perspective, that they have to have them because flip phones are available on their family plan, that increasingly they are used in the classroom.

To all this I say: Nope.

I agree and will go further: Not even my high schoolers have smart phones. Flip phones work for them, too. My DC1 tells me he might be the only kid in his entire high school who uses a flip phone. Luckily, he inherited the not-giving-a-crap-what-others-are-doing gene from me.

I would never let my high school student go without a smart phone. Here are the things that he uses it for that you cannot do on a flip phone:

GPS and tracking: I like to be able to see where he is at all times. My DS commutes to DC from Bethesda on the metro.

Email: In high school, kids starting using email more and more to communicate on school projects and with teachers. I know this is readily available on a laptop, but how nice it is to be able to send off an email in the car without the hassle of pulling out your computer, or having to try to remember to do it later.

Apps used for school, such as quizlet, canvas, google drive, etc. This enables him to get work done in the car or on the train during commuting times. I would not want him to be pulling out his laptop on the metro.

Music. My DS has a deep appreciation for music (not just pop music) and he likes to listen while he is waiting or on the train.

Social media: Not a necessity, but for my DS, it helps him keep up with current and old friends. They use Instagram texting when doing group projects. Instagram texting enables you to commute with other classmates without having to trade phone numbers. All the kids are doing it and if you don't have it, well you are just weird. That's right PP, I am fairly certain your DC is considered to be an odd duck, but how nice that he doesn't care.

PP, you may not realize it, but you are making your DCs' lives much more difficult by withholding technology from them. Yes they will manage, but they will eventually grow to resent you, if that haven't already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost impossible to monitor.

My kids have it but they are older, it makes me nervous and I randomly check it.

I don't check the junior in HS anymore, but I check the younger one. But he could easily tell kids when they can send bad stuff.
also there are creepers on snapchat (and Instagram) trying to get naked pictures.

You can follow Instagram so I would start with that,but there is chat that can't be monitored.

How do you randomly check snapchat? You just open his unopened messages?

Yes. And then they disappear.

Nothing ever disappears on the internet. EVER.

Remember that.

Uh, you missed the point entirely. If a parent opens a kid's messages, the kid's messages will disappear from the inbox and no longer be viewable. So when a parent checks the inbox, the kid can't later get those messages. It was not a point about whether anything can disappear from the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked parents give their 6 graders phones with full internet and social media use. they are 11yrs old. Tell them to go outside and play instead of snapchatting and watching porn.

Oh wait, it is too dangerous to go outside and play. Much safer to give them the entire internet on the phone.

This. Middle schoolers do not need smart phones. Flip phones do just fine.

--mother of a 12th grader and a 7th grader

Do you restrict your children to only things they need?

No. But my conversations with many parents of middle schoolers is that they are under the impression that their children do, indeed, "need" smart phones and that is why they have them. I am simply providing another viewpoint. I hear that middle schoolers "need" them in order to keep up with their friends socially, that they will be outcasts if they don't have them, that they are necessary from a safety perspective, that they have to have them because flip phones are available on their family plan, that increasingly they are used in the classroom.

To all this I say: Nope.

Do you live in the city or suburbia aka the land where children are always tethered to an adult?

I live in the city. Are you under the impression that flip phones don't work here? Another misconception about the "need" for smartphones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked parents give their 6 graders phones with full internet and social media use. they are 11yrs old. Tell them to go outside and play instead of snapchatting and watching porn.

Oh wait, it is too dangerous to go outside and play. Much safer to give them the entire internet on the phone.

This. Middle schoolers do not need smart phones. Flip phones do just fine.

--mother of a 12th grader and a 7th grader

Do you restrict your children to only things they need?

No. But my conversations with many parents of middle schoolers is that they are under the impression that their children do, indeed, "need" smart phones and that is why they have them. I am simply providing another viewpoint. I hear that middle schoolers "need" them in order to keep up with their friends socially, that they will be outcasts if they don't have them, that they are necessary from a safety perspective, that they have to have them because flip phones are available on their family plan, that increasingly they are used in the classroom.

To all this I say: Nope.

I agree and will go further: Not even my high schoolers have smart phones. Flip phones work for them, too. My DC1 tells me he might be the only kid in his entire high school who uses a flip phone. Luckily, he inherited the not-giving-a-crap-what-others-are-doing gene from me.

I would never let my high school student go without a smart phone. Here are the things that he uses it for that you cannot do on a flip phone:

GPS and tracking: I like to be able to see where he is at all times. My DS commutes to DC from Bethesda on the metro.

Email: In high school, kids starting using email more and more to communicate on school projects and with teachers. I know this is readily available on a laptop, but how nice it is to be able to send off an email in the car without the hassle of pulling out your computer, or having to try to remember to do it later.

Apps used for school, such as quizlet, canvas, google drive, etc. This enables him to get work done in the car or on the train during commuting times. I would not want him to be pulling out his laptop on the metro.

Music. My DS has a deep appreciation for music (not just pop music) and he likes to listen while he is waiting or on the train.

Social media: Not a necessity, but for my DS, it helps him keep up with current and old friends. They use Instagram texting when doing group projects. Instagram texting enables you to commute with other classmates without having to trade phone numbers. All the kids are doing it and if you don't have it, well you are just weird. That's right PP, I am fairly certain your DC is considered to be an odd duck, but how nice that he doesn't care.

PP, you may not realize it, but you are making your DCs' lives much more difficult by withholding technology from them. Yes they will manage, but they will eventually grow to resent you, if that haven't already.

Here are the things my teenager does with a flip phone:

Walks to school. Takes the metro/bus to Georgetown and the mall and his volunteer gig. I do not use GPS to monitor his movements, any more than my mother monitored my movements. The world is no less safe today for a teen than it was 35 years ago. (In fact, by most measures, it is safer. The big risks that exist today that did not exist 35 years ago? All associated with internet/social media/etc.)

Email--as you noted, readily accessible on any laptop or desktop, at home, at school, at the library--all those places where homework is done.

Apps, etc-- I question how much "work" anyone is doing on a phone on the metro, but YMMV. There is no homework that can be done on a phone that can't be done on a laptop/desktop.

Music--my DS also loves music and his iPod is constantly in use.

Social media--texting, of course, is easily (and often) done on his flip phone. He has a FB account with hundreds of friends, but he's never been that interested in it and now most of them don't seem to be either. But if he wants, he can check that on any laptop or desktop, like email. Same with twitter and Instagram. I don't know if his peers consider him an odd duck; but he has plenty of friends whom he gets together with often, so if they think that it doesn't seem to be a barrier to friendship. I'm glad that he and they don't appear to be too caught up in what is "cool."

My kids are 18 and 13. I'm quite close with them both and they don't appear to be particularly resentful. Through his volunteer work, my older DC is well aware of what "difficult" circumstances really are. His quite comfortable life is anything but.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked parents give their 6 graders phones with full internet and social media use. they are 11yrs old. Tell them to go outside and play instead of snapchatting and watching porn.

Oh wait, it is too dangerous to go outside and play. Much safer to give them the entire internet on the phone.

This. Middle schoolers do not need smart phones. Flip phones do just fine.

--mother of a 12th grader and a 7th grader

Do you restrict your children to only things they need?

NP. I certainly do not give them a smart phone with the entire WWW at 11yrs old. Holy shit that is bad parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked parents give their 6 graders phones with full internet and social media use. they are 11yrs old. Tell them to go outside and play instead of snapchatting and watching porn.

Oh wait, it is too dangerous to go outside and play. Much safer to give them the entire internet on the phone.

Said the mother of a 7 year old boy . . .

I am the mom of a 14yr old girl and 11yr old boy and agree with it. Thanks!

The ONLY reason any of you give your child a $400 phone in middle school is to keep up with the Jones'. Everyone secretly realizes their kids staring at social media, porn, and mindless you-tube videos is not the purpose of the phone, but really is the only purpose for your child.

[Anonymous]

My 7th grader has a smartphone for two reasons, neither of which are that his friends have one. He is on a separate campus from his brothers and in an emergency, I'd like to be able to reach him. If cellular is down, hopefully wifi would still be up.

He also takes school trips out of the country. If cell service is unreliable, he has the option of wifi. Different families, different circumstances. Additionally, his phone is a hand-me-down so costed me nothing extra. He's definitely not keeping up with his friends who all seem to have better phones than me.

[Anonymous]

^^he doesn't have snapchat but did just mention it. We won't be allowing it for at least another year.