Birthday checks from Mom and Dad - I'm 43!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents always gave me the maximum gift amount allowed by law. If they wait until they die it gets taxed, as a gift no tax to a certain amount per year. It's a smart tax move.

Only if their estate exceeds $10.86 million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a nice gesture .. Not quite sure what the problem is.

+1000. Sounds like veiled bragging to me. Who on earth complains about something like this? Donate the money to charity if you like but stop bitching about it.

[Anonymous]

I put that check and the Christmas check into an account I have earmarked for my kid's college fund. I'm older than you, OP. And like a PP, my grandparents did this for my parents until they died.

[Anonymous]

We still get them from my inlaws. We use them for household upgrades and/or college funds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a nice gesture .. Not quite sure what the problem is.

+1000. Sounds like veiled bragging to me. Who on earth complains about something like this? Donate the money to charity if you like but stop bitching about it.

+1. I guess I'm not as rich as all you because we don't have a lot of extra money sitting around after bills are paid. My parent send me birthday checks each year and I use it for something like a new coat. They also send us anniversary checks, which we use to go to a nice dinner. It's a gift. We also send them birthdays gifts, so I suppose we all "break even" by the end of the year, but that's not the point. Maybe this is all different because we have a good and close relationship?

[Anonymous]

OMG, DH parents just brought him a freaking EASTER BASKET. We are in our late 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd like my parents to stop sending me a check for my birthday. There's no way to say this politely, is there?

I am 51 an still get them from my parents (It was $100 and then near the end of my mother's life it was $500). I do a splurge activity. It isn't about being independent or able to afford it on my own. They want to do it. My mom got one from her uncle until he died. He never increased it from 1929 to 1989 (when he died), always $5 - inflation was not in his vocabulary.

+1! I honestly can't imagine why anyone would complain about parents' remembering a child's birthday of any age. It's the love and thought behind the gift. Will add that I'm speaking from a grandmother's perspective, but my parents, aunts, and grandparents did it as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a nice gesture .. Not quite sure what the problem is.

+1000. Sounds like veiled bragging to me. Who on earth complains about something like this? Donate the money to charity if you like but stop bitching about it.

+1. I guess I'm not as rich as all you because we don't have a lot of extra money sitting around after bills are paid. My parent send me birthday checks each year and I use it for something like a new coat. They also send us anniversary checks, which we use to go to a nice dinner. It's a gift. We also send them birthdays gifts, so I suppose we all "break even" by the end of the year, but that's not the point. Maybe this is all different because we have a good and close relationship?

+1 I think some of these posters have a tenuous relationship at best, so they tend to pick at anything their parents do. Tough place to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your post made me remember smth I read a while back. The now infamous Guantanamo bay military base in Cuba is on the land that was formally leased to the US government by the Cuban government in 1903.

Despite the revolution and hostilities, every year US sends a check to Fidel for the contractual amount. He puts it in his desk. Not once since 1960s has it been cashed.

Take what you want from this story. You can draw the line in the sand by never cashing. Or you can see it as a sign that your parents in some way feel it's their obligation to you, no matter what.

It may also be automated and they forgot about it. I have a citibank feature like that.

A comparison of a family situation with the US and Fidel Castro? Obligation instead of love? That's not the way I would interpret the parents' gifts.

[Anonymous]

Why so much angst over a gift? Someone cares enough to send you something on your birthday or make an Easter basket and it annoys you?? Accept the gift in the spirit it is given.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd like my parents to stop sending me a check for my birthday. There's no way to say this politely, is there?

I'll take the checks if you don't want them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op: $100. My parents are frugal and secretive about their finances, but Mom has let a few hints go that they have quite the stash.

Maybe the checks will be all you'll be getting and they'll leave the rest of their "stash" to their cat or something.

[Anonymous]

My MIL always sends me $100 and insists I go buy something for myself...and I do! Happily! I can't imagine a situation where I would be annoyed by this!

[Anonymous]

I am in my 30's and get VISA gift cards from my parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, DH parents just brought him a freaking EASTER BASKET. We are in our late 30s.

I hear you. DH's mom brings over corned beef and cabbage even though I make it every year, too. Same thing with the latkes and brisket.