"Thanks for giving birth" flowers for MIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the sentiment has to be more of a 'thank you for having such a wonderful son, and raising him to be the man I am so lucky to call my husband." I have given my MIL a card with similar sentiment on Mother's Day, and meant it, but don't every year. If you're worried about it becoming expected, I agree with PP to send the flowers at a random time, maybe with a note saying you were just thinking about motherhood, and hope you'll be able to raise your child to be as wonderful as the son she raised, or something equally cheesy and heartfelt. I'd only do it if the sentiment is really heartfelt though. It may earn you some goodwill, but only if there is something genuine to it. Otherwise you just seem crazy.

+1 Yes!! Very sweet!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't bother with a MIL who won't even give you credit for those other gifts you are so thoughtful to get her for Mother's Day, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is 56. When he turned 25, it was my MIL's 25th anniversary of being a mom. I sent her flowers with some mushy note along the lines of "thank you for the gift you gave me 25 years ago today." I only did it the one time. She is still talking about what an awesome and sweet thing that was.

She probably has been wondering when it will happen again.

Ha Ha! It never occurred to me to do it again! I suspect she will still be around when husband turns 60. She will be 85 then. I will send her flowers again then, LOL.

I have found it astounding that 31 years later, I am still getting mileage out of that one small gesture that one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is 56. When he turned 25, it was my MIL's 25th anniversary of being a mom. I sent her flowers with some mushy note along the lines of "thank you for the gift you gave me 25 years ago today." I only did it the one time. She is still talking about what an awesome and sweet thing that was.

She probably has been wondering when it will happen again.

Ha Ha! It never occurred to me to do it again! I suspect she will still be around when husband turns 60. She will be 85 then. I will send her flowers again then, LOL.

I have found it astounding that 31 years later, I am still getting mileage out of that one small gesture that one day.

Keep her guessing. Congratulations on your long and happy marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A co-worker's wife sent his mom flowers for co-worker's birthday as a "thanks for giving birth" gift. Apparently others have heard of this as well (I had not).

My MIL isn't sentimental at all, but she loves things that she can brag about on Facebook. I think sending her flowers on DH's birthday would be something she'd enjoy for exactly this reason (plus, I'd actually get credit for it-- even though I do all the Mothers Day/birthday/Christmas shopping, she only ever thanks DH for those).

We've been married a couple years, so this would sort of be out of the blue, but we're expecting our first kid, and I feel like I may need to do some nice things for MIL now, because I know that she and I have very different views on things, and I fully expect there to be some tension when baby comes.

Two questions:
1) If I do this one year and forget in subsequent years (because... baby/life/whatever), am I just setting myself up for drama? (I send my grandmother flowers every Valentines day.... and it went from being a nice surprise to a "oh, when your flowers came late this year I just assumed you forgot me," passive aggressive thing.)
2) Anyone have a similar IL situation, and is there a way to preemptively build up goodwill -- through something like the above, or something else entirely-- so that when I'm cranky post-birth and say something less than tactful, she'll be more forgiving?
3) Are "thanks for giving birth" flowers just kind of stupid? (I sort of think so -- at least when we're talking 30+ years after the fact-- but then again, I haven't done it yet, so maybe I'll feel differently a few months from now).

I think it is sweet. I try to write sweet special notes to my MIL sometimes to get the same point across, but not at a specific date. Just whenever. I also stash little gifts away for her that I can send when I'm feeling nice, just out of the blue gifts so she doesn't expect them.

[Anonymous]

How about wording it to be clear it's a one-time thing?

"As I become a mother, I wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you on the day that you became DH's mom. Thank you for having and raising a wonderful son."

[Anonymous]

How about sending flowers for "Thanks for getting drunk and forgetting to use a condom" or "Thanks for changing your mind about the abortion"?

[Anonymous]

It's a nice idea. But it may very well set a precedent if you don't keep it up each year. I might buy her something thoughtful that I saw that I think she would like, and mail it on no special occasion with a thank you for raising such an amazing son card to combat this.

[Anonymous]

I think if your relationship is such that it requires you to bank good will, I wouldn't do this. I'd concentrate on making sure you and your DH are on the same page with how to deal with her and any "tension" that comes up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about sending flowers for "Thanks for getting drunk and forgetting to use a condom" or "Thanks for changing your mind about the abortion"?

You win!