Kindergartener HATES homework- what can I do?

[Anonymous]

Don't compare a female to a male child at this age. Apples and oranges. I have two boys, and both of them LOATHED everything to do with writing/coloring up into the mid elementary years. I remember going to 1st and 2nd grade school events and see the girls' work in the hallway - all perfectly written and colored. And the boys all had messy, illegible, barely-finished chicken scratching. It's fine, really.

Don't give your kid homework. Unless of course you WANT to make him hate school. Then by all means, keep it up. Homework at this age does not improve any skills whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was always one to give options - when, where, with what. But, from day one, homework was not optional. I'm glad that's the approach I took early on because it became a non-issue. Everyone knew homework was not optional. If one of his problems is that your daughter finishes first and that frustrates him, I would have them do it at different times so he doesn't know he's taking longer.

I agree. Homework is not optional at my house either. I also don't think that forcing your child to do homework is going to make them hate school, but if he is an exceptionally stubborn child, you don't want to create a power struggle either. OP, you have gotten some good advice and strategies from different perspectives.

My thoughts. First I would tell the teacher what is going on at home and see what she thinks. Second, what does your son's OT say about the handwriting homework? If it is appropriate, could he work on the worksheet as part of OT? What if you changed it up and had him do some work in the morning? I would also use a timer and have him work in very short increments throughout the week. My only other suggestion is that when my kids were young we all did homework together. If your daughter finishes first have her read or do some sort of fun workbook (word search etc.) until your son is done too. Is he really competitive too? Don't compare them, you'll get the opposite where he races through homework and does it incorrectly just to be first. -- Can you tell I have one like this?

Good luck! It is amazing how each kid is different!

[Anonymous]

K teacher and mom of a k'er...I am firmly in the "that's too much" camp. Time to subtly drop it. When first grade begins I'd ease into it too. Also check your county's guidelines because sometime teachers are pressured to assign more than is really reasonable. Also, what takes one child 10 minutes can take another an hour. If you just can't make yourself ignore it, I would set the timer for 10 minutes and whatever gets done in that time is what gets turned in. You can include a note to the teacher explaining your new policy. I'd also caution you on forcing the reading. The kids who really love to read (and this read at higher levels) are the ones whose parents were most relaxed about it.

[Anonymous]

Tell the teacher what is happening and that your child won't be doing homework for the rest of the year. Homework in kindergarten is dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was always one to give options - when, where, with what. But, from day one, homework was not optional. I'm glad that's the approach I took early on because it became a non-issue. Everyone knew homework was not optional. If one of his problems is that your daughter finishes first and that frustrates him, I would have them do it at different times so he doesn't know he's taking longer.

I agree. Homework is not optional at my house either. I also don't think that forcing your child to do homework is going to make them hate school, but if he is an exceptionally stubborn child, you don't want to create a power struggle either. OP, you have gotten some good advice and strategies from different perspectives.

My thoughts. First I would tell the teacher what is going on at home and see what she thinks. Second, what does your son's OT say about the handwriting homework? If it is appropriate, could he work on the worksheet as part of OT? What if you changed it up and had him do some work in the morning? I would also use a timer and have him work in very short increments throughout the week. My only other suggestion is that when my kids were young we all did homework together. If your daughter finishes first have her read or do some sort of fun workbook (word search etc.) until your son is done too. Is he really competitive too? Don't compare them, you'll get the opposite where he races through homework and does it incorrectly just to be first. -- Can you tell I have one like this?

Good luck! It is amazing how each kid is different!

OP here. Yes, I have an exceptionally stubborn child and I do worry that I'm creating a power struggle.

We aren't switching schools, so will have to manage with what we have. I'll talk with the teacher to let her know what's going on and see if she can offer any insight.

RE: the handwriting. Sigh. His OT had suggested the handwriting without tears program but untrue to its name, it did cause tears so I stopped it very early on. He forms his letters incorrectly so while his writing itself can be neat, he has a very inefficient way of writing and I was told this can cause a lot of fatigue with writing later on.

[Anonymous]

My stubborn ADHD son balked at homework so I found it to be best to leave the room when he does it or he would spend an hour bitching about it. I'd say, "I gotta throw some laundry in" and then go downstairs. His audience for bitching and moaning was gone so he just did it. I would let him pick out some harder books for him to read from the library. If the teacher says he needs practice with his fluency, fine. Do the easy poems and reading. But let him really read books he chooses.

[Anonymous]

My son is in 1st grade. He had homework in K, but I refuse to fight over it, so he almost never did it. I would say one time, "remember you have homework" and then move on with my evening (mainly cooking dinner). My son was not falling behind academically, so his teachers kind of rolled their eyes, but when I explained that it was a 45 minute fight every night they told me it wasn't that important.

So he had a bad homework grade in kindergarten.

Now in 1st, he has a very no nonsense teacher who has somehow gotten him to care. He has done his homework every single week with almost no complaining. He gets a packet on Monday that's due Friday, and my son can do it all at once, he can do some each night, it's up to him. Sometimes he doesn't finish it, and I don't go over it or help unless he asks.

Some people will crucify me on here I'm sure. But I already finished 1st grade (I'm a law school grad - I chose a different career path though), so I don't need to do his homework or watch over his shoulder while he does it. That causes more problems than letting him take responsibility for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My stubborn ADHD son balked at homework so I found it to be best to leave the room when he does it or he would spend an hour bitching about it. I'd say, "I gotta throw some laundry in" and then go downstairs. His audience for bitching and moaning was gone so he just did it. I would let him pick out some harder books for him to read from the library. If the teacher says he needs practice with his fluency, fine. Do the easy poems and reading. But let him really read books he chooses.

Ha! My ADHD 3rd grader is the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow, I didn't think it was a lot, truly. When my older child was in K, they had a lot more homework, but the K team has revamped HW and it's much less than it used to be.

Seriously, the short story takes 30 seconds to read, plus 1 two-sided handwriting sheet. That's it for the week. Is that really a lot? I usually have him do one side on one day and then next side on another day.

To be honest, his handwriting is not good. He's in OT for fine motor skills deficiencies, but should I push back on having him do the worksheets at home?

To answer some questions:

1. He's 5 and will be 6 in mid-April.

2. No aftercare.

3. His complaints- some of them don't make sense. He gets mad that his sister is done with her HW before he is, but that's because she sits down and gets it done, instead of complaining, which just drags it out. He also says it's boring; that's fair. He's able to do the take home reading easily, as the books are DRA 2 and he's reading at a DRA 5. The reading specialist wants them to start at a lower level to make reading enjoyable, which makes sense.

If he's on OT for fine motor skills deficiencies, the handwriting homework is probably pure torture for him. Talk to his OT about the best way to improve his handwriting - I almost guarantee it's not through handwriting worksheets. If you really want homework, get it from the OT and do fun stuff that strengthens his hands - water pouring, bean sorting, polishing, etc (Montessori activities are fantastic for this and can easily be done at home) And even if actual handwriting is the best practice, a stupid worksheet is a horrid way to teach it. Have him write a story or a letter to grandmom or the grocery list - something actually meaningful.

And the way to make reading enjoyable is to read enjoyable things! A short story that takes 30 seconds to read is probably mind-numbingly boring. Much better to get some actual quality books and read for 10 minutes.

The actual quantity of the homework may not be a lot (although I think anything in K is useless) but the quality is such that it sure sounds miserable to me.

+1

The primary goal for kindergarten is to set a foundation where your child enjoys school -- and learning, more generally. You want him to finish the year with a mindset that school is fun. He enjoys going. He looks forward to returning for first grade in September. If he hits that goal, he's on track and you're set.

The secondary goal is to learning specific skills. Reaches a base level for reading, math and writing by June. Basic listening and behavioral skills, too. By June.

That said . . .

Learning to suck it up and complete homework is NOT a legitimate goal for kindergarten, in my opinion. Some kids will do it willingly, and without undermining the primary goal of enjoying school and the process of learning. Easy situation.

Other kindergarteners -- many others -- resist homework of any kind. Even small, easy "assignments". It's fine. They're five or six. Trying to override them at this stage by forcing, bribing or fighting with them will only teach them that school -- and learning -- is something to resist and resent. It will set a foundation that school is the OPPOSITE of fun. And something to push back on.

Your child is getting plenty of practice at school. If the goal is to have him learn the basic skills needed to complete kindergarten successfully, he's on track. To the extent he's struggling with writing, he has OT. It's good.

I would talk with the teacher about taking a complete break from "homework" for the next two months. See how it goes.

There's plenty of time for homework later. Once he's older and truly needs to supplement in order to keep up. No need to teach him to hate school at this point.