Why is there SO much housework wtf?

[Anonymous]

I don't go upstairs or downstairs empty handed. I even leave things on the side of the stairs to remind myself.

I also use one section of the kitchen counter so I'm not constantly cleaning the whole kitchen/crumbs/floor.

I was in your shoes once Op. I remember it well. Oddly, now it's me +4 young kids and all their stuff (dh travels and it's just me and the kids) and I'm more organized and house looks presentable. I'm not embarassed if a neighbor surprised me at the door. I have just forced myself to organize and clean and multitask.

Ikeep the vacuum under the rarely enter/used dining g room table for quick and easy cleanup post dinner, I make lunch while prepping dinner, and get the kids to help. Yes, unloading the dishwasher with a 14 mo old takes 20 min, but we're engaging and I can check off a chore on my to do list.

[Anonymous]

NP here.

There are some really good ideas here! I had not heard of the one touch policy before. I do deal with the mail immediately and break down boxes immediately, but hadn't extended the idea to everything else. Love it!

I also like the 1 in, 1 out rule. And I like the idea of having a dedicated giveaway box to put in a closet. I don't know why this never occurred to me before. So simple and so brilliant. Thanks!

As for the OP, I sympathize with you. I too always feel underwater -- so much to do in so little time. BUT, I would say, try to let it go. Just do less. Your life will not fall apart if you clean half as much as you do right now. Of course, it's your judgment call. If you can't stand it, then it's worth it to you to clean as much as you do. But, there is value to just relaxing and having some free time. Schedule in time for yourself. You seem overwhelmed and burned out. Make relaxing/doing something for you a priority.

[Anonymous]

I think I drive donations once a week to be dropped off. I put stuff away, right away, except laundry. I just folded and it's on one of the couches. We've spent the last 2 years organizing the attic, shed and house, so we can put stuff away. We have a small home and it's the only way to keep it uncluttered.

[Anonymous]

Dropping off donations is the worst. I've scheduled pickups and they never show (only to have my bags get rained on or left out all day). Drop offs aren't that easy since they're pretty far from my house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Housework, housework, why is there so much housework and what am I doing wrong here? The baby is ONE. There's one of him. DH is always traveling, so it's pretty much just me and him. Why is the house always trashed even though I'm always cleaning it? Here's what I see needs doing now:

Boxes of failed Amazon Xmas presents need to be returned.
Boxes of successful Amazon presents need to be broken down and gotten rid of
Tree is taken down (it's a tabletop tree!) and put in a duffel bag. But duffel bag is sitting in the hallway. Duffel bag needs to go in closet hall closet
Pile of mail needs to be dealt with (and I don't even get paper mail anymore! I have a service that scans and emails my mail. This is all DH mail but could be some joint mail)
Stairs cluttered with: stuff DH mailed to himself from a recent conference, Amazon pantry stuff that we don't need yet (or ever) a box of stuff I cleared from the dining room table that looks important enough to save but not important enough to deal with.
Powder room needs a wipe down, actually both bathrooms upstairs need a good wipe down.
All floors need a mop, they look gross even though I vacuum 2x daily!
Pantry needs to be cleared out...pantry items are migrating to counters, and counters are getting cluttered and thus not wiped down well enough
Big bag is waiting to go to charity drop off
Laundry bag is folded but needs to be put away.
Dust bunnies and hair floating about

I pick up all day long, what gives? Why am I still a mess?

I am so glad I'm not the only one.

[Anonymous]

I found the fly lady to have some great systems and advice. Also, I learned from a friend who is obsessively neat how she does it - she gets rid of practically everything that is not in current use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I drive donations once a week to be dropped off. I put stuff away, right away, except laundry. I just folded and it's on one of the couches. We've spent the last 2 years organizing the attic, shed and house, so we can put stuff away. We have a small home and it's the only way to keep it uncluttered.

Weekly? Really?

[Anonymous]

My motto from day 1 was everything has a place and every place has a thing.

The way you all keep house is shocking. Sounds like hoarder houses. And like some hoarders, laziness wins.

Don't be lazy.

7 minutes per room per day will get your house in order. You just have to want to do it. The problem is, you don't want.

It's not that hard. Oh and unplug your devices. You will get more done. Chores before play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the time it took you to post/read/reply here, you could have made a huge dent in that list!

Sure, she could have, but the bigger issue is OP is overwhelmed by all of it and doesn't seem to know how to attack it (which is extremely common for people who struggle with clutter). If spending 20 minutes here posting and reading responses gives her the beginning of plan she can implement going forward, that's probably worth far more in the long run than 20 minutes spent knocking out her current list.

[Anonymous]

We have a bi-weekly cleaner which helps a lot. Throwing stuff out definitely helps. We keep a donation bag in the trunk so anytime we happen to drive by Goodwill we can just drop it off.

Plus we got rid of most of our carpet which means I don't have a lot of vacumming. I find wood and tile floors much easier to clean. My biggest struggle is laundry. Everytime I turn about it seems like there are so many loads of it. But I've come to accept that working full time and having two small kids means I am going to have to deal with some disorganization.

[Anonymous]

Be glad you don't also have 3 cats - oh, the cat tumbleweeds! I've seriously wondered if I could train them to use the vacuum, or at least attach a dusting cloth to their tails....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My motto from day 1 was everything has a place and every place has a thing.

The way you all keep house is shocking. Sounds like hoarder houses. And like some hoarders, laziness wins.

Don't be lazy.

7 minutes per room per day will get your house in order. You just have to want to do it. The problem is, you don't want.

It's not that hard. Oh and unplug your devices. You will get more done. Chores before play.

I am not lazy. I work FT with overtime during deadlines, and my commute is a minimum of 45 minutes each way. Dh also works FT. On the weekend, we usually have lessons and such as well as cleaning, cooking, laundry, and playdates. My house has 12 rooms. How would I possibly have 84 extra minutes per day? I get the kids on the bus at 8:53 am. If I'm lucky, I get to work at 9:30 am. I work until 6:30 pm and get home at 7:15 pm. I make sure homework is finished up, eat dinner, and do nightly chores. We are in bed at 9:30 pm. I get up at 6:30 am to do lunches, get clothes together, walk the dog and get myself dressed. Two mornings/week, I get up at 5:15 am to go to an exercise class. I don't have 7 minutes per room per day extra. I am certainly not lazy. I find that insulting that you say that. And I am not on my device at home.

[Anonymous]

agree with others that you need to get rid of stuff. I can see why you feel overwhelmed. I would too with all that stuff sitting around my house. As others have said, set up systems for mail, packages, kids' stuff (though you don't mention it being a problem I feel sure that it must be given the other problems you list). And just do a big purge, as someone mentioned, getting rid of stuff is so freeing. Even get rid of all the extra pantry items you mentioned. If you don't think you'll ever eat them and they are non-perishable and haven't expired, take them to the food pantry. If they are expired or just gross, throw them away. If you think you'll eat it, put it out somewhere on the counter top so you'll remember you have it and make a meal plan that includes it ASAP to get it out of your pantry. Besides baking stuff and spices, you really don't need to keep much in your pantry. Only buy and keep what you will eat within a week or 2.

It is still a lot of work keeping up with all these 'systems' to be sure but it is much more manageable and less overwhelming when you have some organization and some sense of the way in which things should be done. I think without a 'system' in place, it's easy to just set things aside thinking you'll deal with them later and then you quickly get to the point you are at where there is stuff everywhere and no room to breathe and it's hard to decide what to tackle first.

The below may sound like overkill but it works for us so maybe it will for you too. My husband and I have a certain order in which we do housework on a daily basis and on a weekly basis. This is our daily schedule which really helps us stay focused on the most important housework/the things that always need to be done no matter what. We do the following every. single. day. The only thing that changes is who does what. we try to split up the housework as evenly as possible.

1) Make the beds.
2) Deal with the laundry (gather clothes and start a load or fold and put away clothes from the dryer)
3) Deal with the dishes (unload/load dishwasher) and clean off the kitchen counters.
4) Start dinner prep as needed

It requires getting up a little earlier and working together, but we can get all that done before we have to leave the house for work and that way we don't have to do it when we get home and we can just relax a bit in the late afternoon/early evening and enjoy hanging out w/ our kids and each other a bit.

We also have a weekly housework schedule as follows.
Monday-bathrooms. After the kids go to bed, we each take a bathroom (we have 2) and give them a good, thorough cleaning...wiping down counters, mopping the floor, cleaning the mirror and here's this point again-looking through cabinets/drawers and getting rid of things such as trash the kids neglected to throw away, empty bottles, expired medicines, etc.
Tuesday-kitchen. We go to town on the kitchen on Tues nights. Counters, floors, the sink gets a thorough cleaning, clean out refrigerator, organize cabinets.
Wednesday-living areas. We dust, tidy, generally straighten up but don't vacuum (we only vacuum on weekends unless there's a big spill)
Thurs and Fri we give ourselves a break
Sat morning is for vacuuming and cleaning the kids' bedrooms and our own bedroom thoroughly

I guess you could say we are a bit Type A and this is way too detailed/controlled. BUT...it works. And I find that the less time I have to devote to thinking about (let alone doing) housework, the better. Keeping a strict schedule like this definitely means I don't even think about it anymore and I have found it much less stressful since we implemented this schedule.

[Anonymous]

Stop buying so much stuff from Amazon.

[Anonymous]

Because we have so much stuff.

Get rid of the stuff and your housework disappears.

I did it, and it is the best feeling in the world.