Should our 4 year old son see me naked?

[Anonymous]

I beg your pardon?

Human bodies are natural and nothing to be ashamed of. My oldest is 10. Unless one of our kids verbalizes discomfort about anyone else in the family walking around naked from our bedroom to the bathroom, we're not going to think about covering up.

[Anonymous]

I am the PP with the 10.5 year old where nakedness is no big deal at all. To each their own. If folks are not comfortable with it then so be it. Your house, your kids, your rules.

I just thought OP should hear a different perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question - where are all of you on the threads about girls seeing fathers naked?

I think this is the flip side of this question, and I agree that it's perfectly ok and normal.

In our own home, in bedrooms and bathrooms, places where some nakedness is normal, there is no reason for covering up.

If someone is uncomfortable, fine, but it isn't harmful to be seen by your opposite sex child in appropriate settings.

Now, if you're prancing around the house nude constantly, that's another level.

So I never dangle my jungle out in the open. I know my little girl doesnt like horror movies. My jungle is rated R, and my wife is the only one who has the permit.

Um, you have decided upon nakedness rules based on movie ratings?

And you folks think we're the odd ones?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who claim you're so cool with nudity – would you be OK with other family members being naked around your children? Your siblings, for example, or your parents? Serious question.

NP, but probably not. Unless my kid was embarrassed (6yo sometimes gets shy around others), but he sees me naked on a regular basis because he tends to walk in while in the shower, getting dressed, doing my hair, whatever.

Also, girls can see their dad naked. It won't cause them permanent emotional scars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who claim you're so cool with nudity – would you be OK with other family members being naked around your children? Your siblings, for example, or your parents? Serious question.

I wouldn't be ok with with it but much of our comfort with nudity is that our kids have seen us naked since they were infants. It's comfortable to our immediate family. If grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle cousin, etc. strolled in nude, I would expect the kids to think there is something unusual about the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who claim you're so cool with nudity – would you be OK with other family members being naked around your children? Your siblings, for example, or your parents? Serious question.

I wouldn't be ok with with it but much of our comfort with nudity is that our kids have seen us naked since they were infants. It's comfortable to our immediate family. If grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle cousin, etc. strolled in nude, I would expect the kids to think there is something unusual about the situation.

We're pretty relaxed about nudity at home, but also want DS to understand that it's not okay to be naked in public or with anyone except mom and dad.

[Anonymous]

I am a male. I have a daughter. She stopped seeing me naked at the age of 3 or 4; I stopped seeing her naked when I no longer had to supervise baths (I don't remember what age that was). She sees my wife naked regularly.

DD is now 13. At 11, she went through a stage where she was curious what a penis looked like, and was trying to see me naked. One day she succeeded. Oh, she was grounded too.

If I had to say, when the child really notices the difference, it is probably not appropriate; when the child is really interested in the difference, it is definitely not appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Mom of a daughter here. She's 2.5 and loves to shower with both of us. As in she will freak out if we don't let her. My husband will put on swim trunks while she's in there and I'll get her out towards the end so he can get naked for the rest of his shower.

[Anonymous]

I'm naked in my bedroom and in the bathroom. I cover up walking from the bedroom to the bathroom. If my kids come into that space when I'm naked they see me. We also teach them to knock, not because we're trying to prevent them from seeing us naked, but because it's polite to knock before going into a room with a closed door. When they become uncomfortable seeing me naked they'll stop coming in when they knock and I say I'm changing. I'm guessing that they'll also start closing their doors when they change, and when I knock and they say they're changing I'll respect that.

I think the balance is not making a huge deal out of it and also not flaunting it. There's a middle ground that says nudity is not a bad thing and also that bodies are private.

[Anonymous]

Until kids or adults are uncomfortable, there's no issue.

Comfort is established through time and trust. So, unless the relative is living with the child and their parents, or is the primary caregiver for the child while the parents work, they don't have that level of time and trust, and I wouldn't expect either the child or adult or be comfortable.

[Anonymous]

I have a 9y old who sees me naked a lot - I don't walk around the house naked, but he walks in/out of my room all of the time when I am getting in/out of the shower and changing clothes. He doesn't seem to care. He walks around upstairs naked all of the time. ALL.OF.THE.TIME

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who claim you're so cool with nudity – would you be OK with other family members being naked around your children? Your siblings, for example, or your parents? Serious question.

NP - I'm not that comfortable with nudity in general - my own in particular. My mother has always been a very private person when it comes to her own body. I can't remember ever seeing her naked - or even in just her underwear. I have certainly never seen her step out of the tub, or on the toilet or even while changing. She has specifically requested that we not help her with her personal care should she be come unable but instead hire someone to help her. She sees this as necessary to maintaining her dignity. The only "personal care" task I've ever seen her help an adult with was rubbing lotion on the hands of her mother in hospice and doing my hair for my wedding.

My father is very different - I remember catching glimpses of him and to this day he will walk from his bathroom to his the room with his closet in just a towel and he often doesn't bother to close the upstairs bathroom door when using the toilet. And so on - he's no exhibitionist but seems to take nudity in stride as a but of daily life. He also has also has always been fine with helping with personal care for various elderly relatives and even me when I needed someone to examine a incision on my side/back that was in the process of healing (DH was not available.)

I know that my mom's hang-ups definitely rubbed off on me and my sister to at least some degree. I remember suffering from profound discomfort in group locker room situations and such while growing up and into be early thirties. It was really a pain at times - somewhere along the path the line I have gotten rid of a lot of it - I think I just finally stopped caring so much what others might think of my scarred somewhat saggy body. (Multiple heart surgeries from different points of entry along with various related procedures, plus stretch marks and c/s scar have made a mess of my torso.)

I am not at all uncomfortable with nudity around my son though - he's almost 5.5 and still sees me naked when he comes into the bathroom or my room when I'm changing. Who cares? It's not a big deal.

But I wouldn't be comfortable being naked on front of most of my family probably they wouldn't be comfortable with it either - not sure what that proves.

As for other family members being naked around my son - as long as it seemed appropriate to the circumstances I don't care - say my father or brother in law are with him changing to go to the pool are beach. Or some one just got out of the shower are is changing clothes and he is in the room (maybe playing with his cousin) are he walks in on them changing or in the bathroom. Just not a big deal to me.

[Anonymous]

No modesty or shame in my house. My sons walk around the house like its a locker room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems like yesterday he was a baby. At what age did you start feeling self conscious about being naked and start covering up around your son?

I started to feel uncomfortable when my son was around five. I get the whole other side (positive body image and all that), but I'm a naturally modest person. I don't freak out when my now almost nine year old DS accidentally walks in on me, but I redirect him out until I'm dressed.
I think OP, it's more about what is comfortable for you and your family-- I don't there is an age or some correct response here-- as others say, if you and your child are not uncomfortable, then do what works best for you. I do notice that my son is now requesting more privacy (although he still hasn't learned how to shut a door). When he says "mom, I'm getting dressed could you leave?" Im immediately respectful of that. I think that's the message when it comes to bodies- respect.