Anyone not have play dates?

[Anonymous]

We have maybe two play dates a month. My son is very shy and introverted and doesn't desire more. He does have a best friend, who we always invite at least one of the times. The other time will generally be a kid from the neighborhood, something informal. There is usually also some sort of boy scout activity one weekend a month, so he socializes through that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whats the obsession with "dates" ? When We were kids we just ran around with the neighborhood kids. It was free and easy and so ideal. My working mom never stressed about which kid Id invite or what snacks to put out, whether she'd have to stay and awkwardly talk with the other mom. Ah, the 80s. Signed, born in 76

We all get it. The problem is that kids are all very over scheduled these days. Everything has to be planned. Even if you're not a parent of an overscheduled kid, chances are that most of your child's friends are over scheduled which makes it necessary to plan play dates.

No it has to do with working parents. Most kids do not have a parent home after school to let them go off and play.

No the parents are home on the weekends but may not encourage the kids to play outside.

Because everyone works or is at daycare all week and no one knows each other. Plus parents make up for the lack of parenting they do all weekend by over-structuring sports and other activities all weekend long. They aren't home then either. Gone are the days of neighborhood knowing each other, kids playing outside, Moms gardening and Dads mowing. Where people stop by and say hi. Now we plan everything and pay people to take care of our homes/lawns so we can spend more money on more activities. THAT is being a good parent and family these days.

Wow, not sure where you live but that is not my experience. We are in the suburbs and there are plenty of neighborhood kids to play with. We also live on a cul de sac and the kids free range but only in the cul de sac. DS (10) sometimes plays outside and sometimes does not. He still spends a lot of time with us at home. He does go to aftercare 4 days a week so doesn't have much time for playing during the week. But he has a best friend who lives in the neighborhood and they have a standing play date at our house every Friday after school unless there is something else going on. On weekends he has sports and spends family time but sometimes (maybe twice a month) is invited to play at a friend's house or we invite someone over. It just depends.

[Anonymous]

My kids don't get along great with the neighborhood kids (combination of different ages and different interests) and we don't do a lot of playdates - I feel like playdates may happen more for kids who aren't in extended day. If you have a longer afternoon, there is more time to get homework done and more motivation to find something outside the house to do.

[Anonymous]

my kids wouldn't do playdates either if I didn't facilitate it. if there is a free afternoon coming up and a playdate would fit in the schedule, I ask my kids if there is someone they'd like to invite, and if so I will call the parents of the other child and arrange it. Playdates these days don't just happen without your involvement.

[Anonymous]

New poster here. I am a SAHM and I don't know any working parents who have playdates (or they have them very, very rarely).

[Anonymous]

Another SAHM here: I used to organize play dates but they are just so exhausting. I take my youngest to the park sometimes and he may play with the kids or sometimes just climb trees on his own, but he's introverted like myself and I don't feel the need to push it.

OTOH, a couple down the street just suggested a playdate to see a movie, which I know doesn't count because they're watching, not playing, but so what?

Why does everything around here have to be so fraught? When I grew up in the 70s/80s, we just hung out. Sometimes friendships gelled. Other times not so much. (Yes I had my youngest way into my 40s and 50 is just months away)

Since helicopter parenting doesn't work, why not let it go? Go to the park and see what your child wants to do. Observe the playground at lunch or after school one day and see the kids and games your child enjoys.

My advice: relax, be yourself and let your child do the same. It'll all be O.K.

[Anonymous]

We host play dates all the time, but I think it's because I have an only child. (I also work full-time and we're busy with other commitments, as well.) We're the "go to" house and sometimes have three play dates a weekend. My son is 8, and it's a million times easier having friends over than trying to entertain him on my own.

[Anonymous]

When my kids were young it seemed that most of the other kids were going to some sort of aftercare program. I SAH so I had to arrange play dates or they would have been rattling around the house...lol.