Punched/Bullied on bus

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go through the school channels and then through law enforcement. Assault IS A CRIME. And it is grounds for a civil suit too. Document, document, document.

This is why our courts are so overcrowded and overburdened and why it takes years for cases to come to trial. Stop and consider. It doesn't matter that "assault" is a crime. Have a sense of proportion.

This is not why our courts are overburdened, moron. They are overburdened because of three strikes laws regarding drug cases. So swing and a miss on trying to sound trendy. One kid punching another is a crime. Whether prosecutors want to proceed is their call. Zero tolerance for this stuff. No parent on this blog--even the meekest of souls--would not pursue all options if schools don't act appropriately.

No, our civil courts are way, way, overloaded too -- moron. It takes years to get a case to court, because of bozos like you who recommend suing at the drop of a hat.

[Anonymous]

This is why I advocate setting up schools for children with behavior problems. Growing up, I attended MCPS and there was a school called Mark Twain for these types of kids. I don't know why they shut it down. We bus high performing kids all over the county, why not those that repeatedly cause trouble? Think about it, they get the education they are required to get, hopefully by teachers who are equipped to manager them. Other schools will benefit by not having these types of distractions. In most cases, these kids are low performers, so all school scores will go up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I advocate setting up schools for children with behavior problems. Growing up, I attended MCPS and there was a school called Mark Twain for these types of kids. I don't know why they shut it down. We bus high performing kids all over the county, why not those that repeatedly cause trouble? Think about it, they get the education they are required to get, hopefully by teachers who are equipped to manager them. Other schools will benefit by not having these types of distractions. In most cases, these kids are low performers, so all school scores will go up.

What types of kids is that? The ones who shove other kids?

Wow. Now we need separate schools for kids who get into bus kerfuffles.

And we need lawsuits for the precious snowflakes who get shoved on the bus.

And police reports.

Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are my options? Middle school child was punched repeatedly on bus despite child's pleas for bully (plus one other kid) to stop. There are witnesses, although sadly none stepped in to help (maybe for fear of being targeted also). Child got off the bus crying while bully continued to taunt him. The punches weren't hard enough to leave a mark, but from my standpoint it's not okay if the bully so much as touched child with his finger. I don't think this should be a warning situation for the bully, but rather zero tolerance and kick him off the bus, suspend, excel, or whatever. I know there is a bully reporting form and am planning to speak with school guidance counselor as starting point. Also know the bully's parent, although not friends, and considering contacting directly. Feeling upset and terrible for child and beyond furious at bully. Can't go through entire school year like this. Sick to stomach and appreciate any guidance from those who have been there.

I'm confused why, upon seeing your child, you didn't get on that bus and have it out with the perp right then and there. I would have ended that kid.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry for what happened to your child. But what did actually happen? Did he get into a fight? Did the other kid get the best of him?

You weren't there. I'm sure your child is upset, but he's not the best reporter of events. I'd be careful about phoning the police about a dust-up on the bus, and about accusing another kid of assault. That's really not somewhere you want to go on the world of a tween, especially where -- as you say -- no one else stepped up to aid your child.

It sounds like an incident best forgotten.

[Anonymous]

Okay seriously. Stop. Breathe. Don't even think about contacting the police. Your child was NOT actually hurt. Not even a mark. No bruise. The hitting can not have been that bad then. Steps must absolutely be taken - through the school. The bully must be punished and the bullying must stop. If THAT fails THEN you can consider letting the bully know you will report any further incidents to the police. But assault and battery charges against a middle school bully who punched someone? Really America? Ugh.

Where was he punched? Because there are differences. Teenagers often punch each other against the shoulders and it can get rough. A punch in the face is something completely different for example. So this also matters. But either way in this case school first, police mayyyyyyyybe later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you really think the school wants to deal with this? Then it's all discoverable.

It sounds like your sixth-grade kid wanted to sit further back on the bus, where the 7th and then 8th graders sit. That's a slap in the face against the older kids who paid their dues. Furthermore, it's that hierarchy and "learn your place" system that helps overworked school administrators run a school where there's just not the time to babysit each and every kid.

You want everyone to take care of your kid, but you can't bother to head over to school to pick DC up. So DC gets on the bus, and then expects everyone to be polite automatically. Sorry, that's not how the world works.

Deal with your kid's flaws and social dorkiness; don't make problems for lots of other people because you checked out on parenting and failed to give what DC needs to be cool.

Under what circumstances is it OK for a dork to get bullied, and how far is too far? When a knife gets pulled or is that OK since dorks need to know their place?

The key for administrators in their anti-bullying work is to determine when it's just ordinary schoolyard shit and when you've got a junior psychopath on your hands. If these kids are picking a different sixth grader at random each week and giving him that business, then that's totally different than a 6th grader asserting the ancient rights of 8th graders and getting a minor smackdown in the process.

If your kid was not even visibly hurt (except an injured pride), anything other than an FYI to the school admins is escalating.

Also if your kid gets over it in a week and there's no repeat, maybe you need to as well.

[Anonymous]

Lets' see how you all do when it's your kid getting beat up. I was bullied as a child and it killed my confidence and self esteem. I wish someone had my back. Instead, I was tormented and live in fear going to school everyday. Why should any kid be subjected to that. And, I am all for sending bullied to their own school. Many of us manage to make it through school without physically or emotionally hurting someone. Why do some kids feel the need to harm? They need help and not at some innocent kids expense. And by the way, being bullied did not toughen me up or build character. It had the opposite effect but somehow many think it is my fault.

[Anonymous]

One incident of getting punched is not bullying. Bullying is repeated and targeted harassment. This is your special snowflake shooting off his mouth at the bigger kids, who finally gave him what he was asking for. The fact that no one has spoken up in his defense is telling.

After years of raising kids, I can tell you that only the favorable side of the story gets told.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't this be assault. Should the police be called?

That would be an overreaction. The bully report should be filed. The child is also self advocating by speaking with a guidance counselor. Hopefully, this will resolve things quickly.

There is a case in Huntington Beach CA where a kid punched another kid (this kid was sight impaired) in HS. The perpetrator was arrested on a misdemeanor battery charge and released to his parents.

Different circumstances. At this point, the OP's situation should be handled by the child's school.

How so? The case in Huntington Beach occurred on school grounds. OP's case occurred on the school bus. Just because OP's kid is in MS doesn't mean it's not assault if he was repeatedly punched. Some MS kids are bigger and stronger than me.

Unless times have changed, transportation to/from school is considered school grounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One incident of getting punched is not bullying. Bullying is repeated and targeted harassment. This is your special snowflake shooting off his mouth at the bigger kids, who finally gave him what he was asking for. The fact that no one has spoken up in his defense is telling.

After years of raising kids, I can tell you that only the favorable side of the story gets told.

Not sure who died and left you in charge of dictionary definitions, but in my book getting punched by two kids when the punchee asks the punchers to stop is most certainly bullying. The fact that no one has spoken in the kid's defense may just be that everyone is too afraid to speak up. Not sure where on earth you are getting your imagined story about the smaller kid shooting his mouth at the bigger kids, but it's a very creative little story.

It's kind of nutty, but you seem to be blaming the person who got beat up for getting beat up. That's not the way most of us would spin things if our kid told us he'd been beaten up on the bus. Despite your years of raising kids, your approach to this seems a bit unusual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give your DC the words to fight back. Tell him that he has your permission to tell the bully to F-off.

Yeah right. He'd better be ready to fight with more than words. Your kid is going to get his face punched if he tells the bully to fuck off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One incident of getting punched is not bullying. Bullying is repeated and targeted harassment. This is your special snowflake shooting off his mouth at the bigger kids, who finally gave him what he was asking for. The fact that no one has spoken up in his defense is telling.

After years of raising kids, I can tell you that only the favorable side of the story gets told.

Not sure who died and left you in charge of dictionary definitions, but in my book getting punched by two kids when the punchee asks the punchers to stop is most certainly bullying. The fact that no one has spoken in the kid's defense may just be that everyone is too afraid to speak up. Not sure where on earth you are getting your imagined story about the smaller kid shooting his mouth at the bigger kids, but it's a very creative little story.

It's kind of nutty, but you seem to be blaming the person who got beat up for getting beat up. That's not the way most of us would spin things if our kid told us he'd been beaten up on the bus. Despite your years of raising kids, your approach to this seems a bit unusual.

NP here. This incident happened and was posted about over a month ago. I've concluded that it was some crazy (like the one you responded to) who bumped this thread. Since it was bumped, it's mostly been blame-the-victim posts seasoned liberally with the word snowflake.

[Anonymous]

Most of the time, the kid who got punched and comes out crying is the kid who started it in the first place. Dunno where you've been with your nancypants kids, but I've seen it time and again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One incident of getting punched is not bullying. Bullying is repeated and targeted harassment. This is your special snowflake shooting off his mouth at the bigger kids, who finally gave him what he was asking for. The fact that no one has spoken up in his defense is telling.

After years of raising kids, I can tell you that only the favorable side of the story gets told.

Not sure who died and left you in charge of dictionary definitions, but in my book getting punched by two kids when the punchee asks the punchers to stop is most certainly bullying. The fact that no one has spoken in the kid's defense may just be that everyone is too afraid to speak up. Not sure where on earth you are getting your imagined story about the smaller kid shooting his mouth at the bigger kids, but it's a very creative little story.

It's kind of nutty, but you seem to be blaming the person who got beat up for getting beat up. That's not the way most of us would spin things if our kid told us he'd been beaten up on the bus. Despite your years of raising kids, your approach to this seems a bit unusual.

+1

NP here. Classic victim blaming. When this happened to me, my mom kicked her ass. Bully never looked my way again.

OP, I'm not suggesting you do that - but you report to whomever you have to, bully parents be damned.