Always paying for mother in law to visit--- even to see new baby!

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's annoying.

Families ARE annoying. That's what happens when you are in each others lives. You step on each others toes.

You get over it because the benefits are far greater than the costs and you learn not to be petty and short-sighted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yes, you should be grateful blah blah blah and it is annoying that your MIL will only visit if you pay. i feel you, OP.

Is it that she CAN only visit when they pay or WILL only visit when they pay? I kind of see a difference there. Particularly from the perspective of her child who might just want to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your husband. Tell him your upset because your family unit prides it self on standing alone financially and you feel his mom should pay her own way so the money can go towards your own family.

When he gives you some BS excuse just mentally remember you will now be taking $25 per month from the atm and putting it in your own slush fund.

He gives him mom $300 you take $300.

Holy shit, you must have a really unhealthy relationship with either DH or MIL or whatever. Yikes! OP do not take advice like this!

[Anonymous]

OP I know you aren't getting any support, but I wouldn't pay for family to visit me. When I took a lower paying job right out of college, my parents told me that poor people don't get to come home for the holidays. AKA they weren't paying for my plane ticket.

[Anonymous]

Talk with you husband. Agree that you'll only pay for one or two trips from grandma each year. Tell her that because you now need to save for college and other child-related expenses you are able to pay for her to come visit twice a year (or however many you determine) but assure her that she is welcome to come anytime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's annoying.

Families ARE annoying. That's what happens when you are in each others lives. You step on each others toes.

You get over it because the benefits are far greater than the costs and you learn not to be petty and short-sighted.

Well said, seriously. OP, if you are in a warm, inviting family, embrace it. Hell, I'd pay for your MIL to come and visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk with you husband. Agree that you'll only pay for one or two trips from grandma each year. Tell her that because you now need to save for college and other child-related expenses you are able to pay for her to come visit twice a year (or however many you determine) but assure her that she is welcome to come anytime.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if she doesn't haace the money and you can afford it, I would work on not resenting this generous act of your husband's. He is setting a good example for your kids on how to treat a parent when they are adults.

I pay for my brother to come visit once a year. He pays his own way to se my sister, but I know money is tight And we have more than he or my sister, so I don't mind and my kids are thrilled to see him. A kind and generous heart makes for a happy person.

What a lovely way to put things. Agree.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yes, you should be grateful blah blah blah and it is annoying that your MIL will only visit if you pay. i feel you, OP.

As long as he puts his spouse and his kids first. And it's not multiple many times a year, then you are not being taken advantage if

[Anonymous]

There seems to be a lot of mooching mother in laws on this board, OP. You should be upset. Your husband is a mama's boy. If you guys have the money then he's being selfish and unfair for not paying for your mom's ticket. If you guys don't have the money then he's a stupid asshole. You gotta nip this in the bud now.

[Anonymous]

loser and skanky, what that about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There seems to be a lot of mooching mother in laws on this board, OP. You should be upset. Your husband is a mama's boy. If you guys have the money then he's being selfish and unfair for not paying for your mom's ticket. If you guys don't have the money then he's a stupid asshole. You gotta nip this in the bud now.

+100000. I have been lurking in this particular forum long enough to see that this is where the lazy siblings, slimeball FILs, and braindead MILs hang out to validate each other. They want to be treated to things other people have worked for and bailed out of their irresponsible decision with no mention of accountability ever. Don't pay them any attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP if she doesn't haace the money and you can afford it, I would work on not resenting this generous act of your husband's. He is setting a good example for your kids on how to treat a parent when they are adults.

So true. How did this nice guy end up with OP?

[Anonymous]

Your DH is just trying to buy his mom's love. I bet she always preferred her loser daughter. I would feel very sorry for DH.
Somehow I also like the advice to take the same amount out of family budget for each of MIL's trips. It might help you to come to peace with the whole thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I know you aren't getting any support, but I wouldn't pay for family to visit me. When I took a lower paying job right out of college, my parents told me that poor people don't get to come home for the holidays. AKA they weren't paying for my plane ticket.

What a terrible way to live. I didn't make much money and my parents helped me out initially as they were able. Now I make more than they ever did, combined (not to mention DH's salary) and we pride ourselves in being generous with them now.