Forum Index
»
Expectant and Postpartum Moms
Sharing nursery with home office or with guest room -- practicalities?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
Our DS is 8 months and is still sleeping in a crib in our room.
I'd turn the guest room into the nursery. |
Anonymous
|
OP - how long do you expect to be in your current home? I ask b/c while a baby doesn't need much of his/her own space (i.e., a separate bedroom), by around 8-10 months (and certainly by a year), the kid will need it. Also, you will want to create a consistent routine for your child for bedtime/nap time and a lot of that will be to have a nice, relaxing place for baby to sleep. And then, kids tend to accumulate a bunch of toys. Unless you also have a playroom or another room for that stuff, you will want it in the bedroom.
I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but I think you need to change your thinking a little. Your first priority is your child and creating a safe/happy environment for your child. Your second priority is probably having some kind of work office. Your third (and last) is creating a "guest" room. Just to add some perspective for you...I am pregnant with a third and live in a 3 bedroom TH. The first thing that went when we had our oldest son was the home office. We built in some space in our basement for our desktop/printer and have a wireless laptop that we use at the dining room table (or while sitting in our bedroom) when working from home. It works out fine. The second thing that went when our second came along was the guest bedroom. Our guests can just stay in a hotel or downstairs on our pull-out couch. Quite frankly, if it isn't comfortable for them, they don't have to visit. My kids are my priority. Now, the smallest room is the nursery and the bigger, former guest bedroom is shared by my two oldest (both boys). It can be done, but you really need to re-think your priorities. |
Anonymous
|
I disagree with 11:17. Your priorities are doing what works for your family - all members of the family. You don't make your child miserable, but don't feel bad creating an arrangement that works for everyone just because that arrangement might not work for someone else. Not everyone is as focused on the nuclear family as some people are - it may be quite important to you to have family and friends come and stay in your home. I would *never* let my parents, who fly in from across the country, stay in a hotel when they're coming to help me out. It may work for some families, but it doesn't work for mine. Part of having a "safe and happy environment" is having people around who love you. Making loving, helpful visitors feel unwelcome certainly doesn't help with creating that kind of an environment.
Don't get bullied into thinking that your baby "needs" its own room. Of course, if your baby has trouble sleeping, you might want to consider different arrangements to work out what's best (and you'll find an arrangement that works well for everyone - no one is happy when the baby's not happy.) But putting your baby in his own dedicated space is not necessarily any better than any other arrangement suggested here. My nephew is now a toddler and is a great sleeper, and always has been. Sometimes he slept in his crib, sometimes the pack and play, sometimes napped on the bed at my parents' house when he visited (which was 2-3 days per week.) He never had his own room. He was fine. He had a safe and happy environment without having his own room. You can prioritize your children without making the whole world revolve around them. |
Anonymous
I totally agree with this. FWIW, we are like in a 3BR house and are expecting a second, our first is now 4. Our plan is to have a combined guest room/nursery. Unlike the OP our guest room is big enough that we can fit the crib changing table and still keep the full size bed and dresser that we already in the room. When guests (most of our guests are close relatives, including our mothers who come 3 -4 times per year) visit they will sleep in the room, if the baby is sleeping well she will sleep in the room as well if not we we move her into our bedroom. Once she is old enough for a twin bed (4 ish) the current guest room/nursery will be converting into a shared bedroom for the two girls and we will use our current 4 yo's room as the new guest room. I cant imagime having my mom or MIl sleep on a sofa while the baby has an entire room to herself. |
Anonymous
Amen. Kids share your life; your life does not have to revolve around them. They won't be miserable if they don't have all their own stuff. I shared a room with my sister until I was 12, and we were fine. We also both were regularly displaced by guests - both family and friends. When I had sleepovers as a child, I was expected to offer my bed to my guest and take the floor in a sleeping bag. I was appalled a few years ago when I visited my cousins, along with my grandparents, and my cousins' 7 and 8 year-old kids slept in their beds while my 80-year-old grandparents slept in sleeping bags on the floor. |
Anonymous
|
I did not read all the posts. But we kept out DS in our room for the first 3 months. How long you keep your child in your room is a personal choice. If it were up to me, I might have moved him out sooner. As a new Mom, all the little noises that a newborn makes can really keep you up at night. Of course, my DH slept right through it. But we decided he was too young to sleep on his own. At 3 months, it felt right and was a good sleeper, so it worked out for us to move him into his own room at that time. As for your other rooms. I don't see what the big deal is about making something a guest room/office. We live in a 2BR apt in DC and we had to move our desk into our living room to make the second room into nurseyr for our son. We really don't have guests at this point--they stay in a hotel if they come. So, I think that combining the office/guest room makes the most sense and is the least disruptive to all involved. But we know others with houses who move their babies/young children into their rooms when guests come. And you could put a pack n play in your room when you have guests, if you so choose. In terms of sex, you might not be having much in the beginning, but it not a hugest deal with a small infant there--depending on how well they sleep, etc. Once they get older, I would think it might be a bit awkward and esp. once they are a toddler.
Good luck, I am sure you figure out something that works for you. |
Anonymous
| I loved having my kids in my room/bed with me until they were well past a year. Somewhere around 10-12 mos, I did set up their own bed for them (in their own room) but happily brought them into bed with me if they were crying/nursing/whatever during the night. I think it is merely someone's perception that there are "problems" created by allowing a baby to co-sleep. People all over the world co-sleep for years with their children, and I have to believe that they turn out okay. Anyway, if you want to have your baby in a crib in your room, it is fine and you can do it for at least a year. For us, sex didn't start to get weird with them in the room until they were 8-9 mos. old. Before then it was fine. |
Anonymous
Me too. We also have a three bedroom, and comined guest room with home office, and it has worked pretty well for us. We moved baby into her own room at aout 4 months (hard to sleep with the noisy litte one in our room). |
Anonymous
|
Can you have a dedicated nursery and have the other room serve as a guest room/office? (You could do a foldout sofa or murphy bed to save space.) Make the smaller room the nursery. Seems like unless you have guests really frequently, that would work out ok. (you'd want to have a locked drawer or file area for confidential papers or bills.) On days when both of you work at home, one person could maybe move to the kitchen/dining room/whatever? Unless you're planning on moving out of the house soon, I don't think it makes sense for your child not to have his/her own room.
We kept our daughter in our bedroom for the first three months, then she was ready for her crib in her room. Babies are loud sleepers; you might find out that you don't want them in with you for very long. plus at some point you might want to resume your sex life. Also, it's nice to be able to pick out your clothes in the morning or read at night without a baby in there. |
Anonymous
I have to admit, I'm surprised by how harsh some of you are to my post. Never implied that the kid should take precedence over everything else. But my point is that children also tend to accumulate stuff. If the kid doesn't have his own room, and you don't otherwise have a "playroom", where exactly do you put everything? Perhaps some people don't mind having kids shit scattered throughout their house. I tend to like having kids stuff limited to 1-2 rooms...but to each their own. I find it unbelievable that people would choose having a work office over letting their kid have their own room. Seriously - what does that say about your priorities? B/c it says to me that you prioritize your work over your child. I am NOT saying that your child can't sleep in your room, while your parents visit, every now and then. Or that your 7-8 yo should get priority over grandparents. But certainly your kids should get priority over a home office???? Or a guest room that is only used every now and again??? |
Anonymous
|
We also have a small 3 BR configured like this:
* Master w/ little sun room annex (baby sleeps in annex) * 2nd BR = TV room + guest room * 3rd BR (the smallest BR) = tidy very small office w/ dual desks and wall-mounted shelving for myself and spouse who works from home 75% of the time Tot is now almost 3. She still sleeps in a crib in a little annex to our bedroom that has a wall but no door separating us. I would say I needed visual separation from baby at about 3 months. Basically, from my Western perspective, that's when I wanted more privacy with my husband if-you-know-whaddi-mean. When we move, which will be very soon, she will get her *own* room, period. Because now we would like more than just visual separation. No, we're not crazy sex fiends (fortunately/unfortunately, depending on your POV); Just that what works for us isn't that we have baby/tot in such close proximity. |
Anonymous
I am the PP you quoted. Giving your baby her own room doesn't in itself mean you prioritize her over work. There's a lot more to it than that. And, the baby sharing a room with a desk doesn't mean you love them equally. If your child is indifferent to sharing a room with a desk, why not have the nursery office combo? It won't work for every family, but it works fine for some families. If the home office ends up distracting the baby in some way, or interrupting her sleep, then the desk goes. But if the arrangement works for everyone in my family, and the baby is happy and healthy, how can you say that I'm prioritizing work over the baby? And your argument goes both ways. You like kid stuff limited to one room; I don't mind having kid stuff in the TV room. So, does that mean that you prioritize TV over your baby? Why should the baby be limited to one room, while you get the run of the house? It doesn't sound like you prioritize the TV over the baby; from your earlier post, it's clear that you care a lot about the well-being of your children. It's just that what you find necessary and beneficial for your baby isn't necessary and beneficial for every baby. You can't really draw comparisons across families; we're all different. I mentioned in a previous post that it's in part cultural. No one in my extended family had a dedicated nursery; the kids' "playroom" was the same as the adults' living room. Yes, that means there's kids' shit all over the house - but it's just a different preference. |