school for quirky kid

[Anonymous]

it's certainly possible that she only sometimes seems quirky to us because she is so unlike either of her parents. NOT a bad thing, in fact a great thing! but she's had a lot more trouble in preschool than either of her brothers did. she's in the preschool that we thought would be the best fit because there's lots of outside time, positive discipline, a really kind teacher...and my girl loves school a lot of the time but U.S. also frequently bored and starts getting restless...her teacher has been great w this, for example my daughter does table work bouncing on a yoga ball and uses fidgets during circle time... but I'm not sure that kind of thing will be ok in K. that's the sort of thing I worry about. and just her sheer level of recklessness. she gets hurt a LOT and tho we are big fans of letting her discover her own physical limits as much as possible we also have to watch her quite carefully at pools and oceans and even playgrounds because she has almost no sense of fear (her gymnastics coaches LOVE her).
re our boys- well certainly they are also quirky in their own individual ways. we don't consider quirky to be a flaw, quite the opposite. also introverted doesn't equal shy- both boys have good, close friends, both can be assertive in respectful ways- tho it's taken us a bit of time to develop this especially in the older one- and both tend to be liked by other kids. they just happen to prefer a few close friends instead of many playmates and both need time to recharge alone after social situations.

appreciate the upthread poster who reassured me DC area has some nonjudgmental ppl too!

[Anonymous]

I think K teachers can definitely handle what you've described above.

I have seen a class of 24 Kindergarteners where maybe 3 or 4 are doing this kind of thing and are each handled separately and effectively.

You don't need to worry, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG... Haha... Wait, the daughter is the quirky one?!?

I think you have it backwards.... Or nobody is quirky.

Holy Camole!

This. Your dd will be fine anywhere. You should be more worried about the older boys. This move will have a greater impact on them.

Seriously. Get you, "tee-hee, our girl is crrrrrr-azy! What can ya do?!", priorities in order. Morons.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and be prepared in this area that she will be diagnosed at least twice a day as having ADHD by well-meaning locals. Start considering meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it's certainly possible that she only sometimes seems quirky to us because she is so unlike either of her parents. NOT a bad thing, in fact a great thing! but she's had a lot more trouble in preschool than either of her brothers did. she's in the preschool that we thought would be the best fit because there's lots of outside time, positive discipline, a really kind teacher...and my girl loves school a lot of the time but U.S. also frequently bored and starts getting restless...her teacher has been great w this, for example my daughter does table work bouncing on a yoga ball and uses fidgets during circle time... but I'm not sure that kind of thing will be ok in K. that's the sort of thing I worry about. and just her sheer level of recklessness. she gets hurt a LOT and tho we are big fans of letting her discover her own physical limits as much as possible we also have to watch her quite carefully at pools and oceans and even playgrounds because she has almost no sense of fear (her gymnastics coaches LOVE her).
re our boys- well certainly they are also quirky in their own individual ways. we don't consider quirky to be a flaw, quite the opposite. also introverted doesn't equal shy- both boys have good, close friends, both can be assertive in respectful ways- tho it's taken us a bit of time to develop this especially in the older one- and both tend to be liked by other kids. they just happen to prefer a few close friends instead of many playmates and both need time to recharge alone after social situations.

appreciate the upthread poster who reassured me DC area has some nonjudgmental ppl too!

This is all very typical behavior for a 4 year old, girl or boy. She is still learning how to sit still. It is also typical for a 7 year old. I teach first grade. Kids are falling out of their chairs all day. Half my class has real trouble listening to our story time. I schedule time during the day for the kids to get up and dance to videos on the smart board. And she will be safe at school. School is all about setting limits and rules. Plus, there are no pools or oceans to worry about.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I think your older children are the quirky ones (still, in a good way. My DD was like your DSs. She would sit still for hours listening to a story at age 2, early reader, introverted, cautious), and this has colored your view of your normally rambunctious child.

Also, don't use the "B" word.

[Anonymous]

many thanks to all of you who've responded kindly! it's great to hear thAt there are lots of kids like our girl, tho I don't think I've really managed to convey her intensity- we know a lot of kids like our daughter and none come close to matching her level of intensity.

all three of our kids are delightfully weird in their own amazing ways. it's part of what makes this whole parenting thing so cool.

[Anonymous]

What exactly are your concerns?

For example we had concerns about our quirky DD. She was academically advanced, compliant to a fault, selectively mute, anxious, and sad. We were concerned she would be easily ignored because she would go along with anything. She would be afraid to show advanced work. She would not be able to advocate for herself. She would not make friends. And she would be sad and anxious because academics were too easy and the social stuff too hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have come across a lot of girls like this, its quite normal, but probably unfamiliar to parents of mostly boys.

Send her where you want to live, where your boys go etc.

She'll be fine. So will you when you work out that she's normal.

Haha. We don't think she isn't normal! She's just in some ways a mystery to is! For one thing, she's smarter than anyone else in our family--her parents included (obviously we *know* more than she does at this point, but yeah, we're pretty sure that in terms of pure intellect she's got all of us beat). She's also much MUCH more extraverted, and since DH and I and both our sons tend to like small groups of well-known people followed by alone time...we are somewhat puzzled by the fact that our girl likes nothing more than huge rooms of new people! Then there's the daredevil side. Good lord, I was terrified to do a cartwheel as a kid. My daughter is learning backflips.

Your kid is normal, she just has a different temperment and personality than the rest of you. Do not concentrate on the differences, just accept her for who she is, and understand that she does not need any "special" schooling.

[Anonymous]

OP, here are the possibilities as I see them:

1. Your child's behavior is totally typical, just different from you.
2. Your child's behavior is unusual in some way, leading you to call her "quirky" (and "intense"), but you're not giving examples of that behavior, thereby leading DCUM to conclude erroneously that your child's behavior is totally typical, even though it isn't.

I don't know your child. You know your child. Which is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, here are the possibilities as I see them:

1. Your child's behavior is totally typical, just different from you.
2. Your child's behavior is unusual in some way, leading you to call her "quirky" (and "intense"), but you're not giving examples of that behavior, thereby leading DCUM to conclude erroneously that your child's behavior is totally typical, even though it isn't.

I don't know your child. You know your child. Which is it?

She did give examples. The back flips and such as well as saying she was the most intelligent of them all ( ) and various other details. If you go back through the thread the OP has come back to add many comments along the way.

Nothing smacks of genuinely unusual about the child, however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG... Haha... Wait, the daughter is the quirky one?!?

I think you have it backwards.... Or nobody is quirky.

Holy Camole!

This. Your dd will be fine anywhere. You should be more worried about the older boys. This move will have a greater impact on them.

Seriously. Get you, "tee-hee, our girl is crrrrrr-azy! What can ya do?!", priorities in order. Morons.

wow. someone please tell me not everyone in DC is this bitchy and horrible. I don't want my kids around that kind of garbage thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, here are the possibilities as I see them:

1. Your child's behavior is totally typical, just different from you.
2. Your child's behavior is unusual in some way, leading you to call her "quirky" (and "intense"), but you're not giving examples of that behavior, thereby leading DCUM to conclude erroneously that your child's behavior is totally typical, even though it isn't.

I don't know your child. You know your child. Which is it?

She did give examples. The back flips and such as well as saying she was the most intelligent of them all ( ) and various other details. If you go back through the thread the OP has come back to add many comments along the way.

Nothing smacks of genuinely unusual about the child, however.

again, we think all three of our kids are quirky. so are we! quirky isn't BAD.

my daughter is intense. I'm honestly not sure how to describe it...it's like everything is bigger for her. not
only in contrast to our boys but in constrast to every other child we know- even the loudest most active. she is FEARLESS. last night she found a chair and then a step stool, stacked them, climbed on top, undid the lock at the top
of the door, went outside, and was perched on the top of the monkey bars when I went to track her down, having left her for THREE minutes. she grabbed the iPad the other day and did the math game that our 6.5 yo is working on. everything she feels
is big. everything she does is big.
I'm
not sure how else to describe it honestly...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, here are the possibilities as I see them:

1. Your child's behavior is totally typical, just different from you.
2. Your child's behavior is unusual in some way, leading you to call her "quirky" (and "intense"), but you're not giving examples of that behavior, thereby leading DCUM to conclude erroneously that your child's behavior is totally typical, even though it isn't.

I don't know your child. You know your child. Which is it?

She did give examples. The back flips and such as well as saying she was the most intelligent of them all ( ) and various other details. If you go back through the thread the OP has come back to add many comments along the way.

Nothing smacks of genuinely unusual about the child, however.

again, we think all three of our kids are quirky. so are we! quirky isn't BAD.

my daughter is intense. I'm honestly not sure how to describe it...it's like everything is bigger for her. not
only in contrast to our boys but in constrast to every other child we know- even the loudest most active. she is FEARLESS. last night she found a chair and then a step stool, stacked them, climbed on top, undid the lock at the top
of the door, went outside, and was perched on the top of the monkey bars when I went to track her down, having left her for THREE minutes. she grabbed the iPad the other day and did the math game that our 6.5 yo is working on. everything she feels
is big. everything she does is big.
I'm
not sure how else to describe it honestly...

I think we get it. We all get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, here are the possibilities as I see them:

1. Your child's behavior is totally typical, just different from you.
2. Your child's behavior is unusual in some way, leading you to call her "quirky" (and "intense"), but you're not giving examples of that behavior, thereby leading DCUM to conclude erroneously that your child's behavior is totally typical, even though it isn't.

I don't know your child. You know your child. Which is it?

She did give examples. The back flips and such as well as saying she was the most intelligent of them all ( ) and various other details. If you go back through the thread the OP has come back to add many comments along the way.

Nothing smacks of genuinely unusual about the child, however.

again, we think all three of our kids are quirky. so are we! quirky isn't BAD.

my daughter is intense. I'm honestly not sure how to describe it...it's like everything is bigger for her. not
only in contrast to our boys but in constrast to every other child we know- even the loudest most active. she is FEARLESS. last night she found a chair and then a step stool, stacked them, climbed on top, undid the lock at the top
of the door, went outside, and was perched on the top of the monkey bars when I went to track her down, having left her for THREE minutes. she grabbed the iPad the other day and did the math game that our 6.5 yo is working on. everything she feels
is big. everything she does is big.
I'm
not sure how else to describe it honestly...

She's FEARLESS! Wahoo!!!
Over-the-top, intense, y'all! And the brightest star in the sky. Yahoo!

[Anonymous]

Is she going into preK or K? For preK I would suggest a school that advocates for outdoor time but also has a firm grasp in setting limits and emphasizing control over urges. NCRC fits the bill though it's tough to get into.

For K, I would look at a progressive school like Lowell or Sheridan, one that can handle her unique qualities and developing executive function via very small class sizes.

As for public, I would suggest trying for an immersion bilingual school. It could be the extra challenge she needs.

And a word advice from mom with a highly gifted child, you need to really tone it down in your rhetoric. I'm not doubting she's extraordinary but trust me, no one else needs to know. Humblebragging quickly makes a good thread go bad.

Wishing you luck with your transition! You really will love it here. And despite it all, DCUM can truly be an amazing resource.