Can I get alimony until kids go to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am pretty far outside of DC city area. He is the one that wants a divorce & I just feel like the kids and I shouldn't have to change our situation because he wants to leave. I am not a troll just really wanting to continue staying at home with my kids.

Sorry, OP. You can't make someone want to support you. You are not a child, you don't have a "right" to be supported by someone else.

You can't make someone stay married, either, and I don't know why you'd want to. You really want to continue to depend on someone who turned out together untrustworthy? That makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He makes between $65k-$75k depending on overtime & possible bonus. I really think it's best for the kids if I am home. The kids are in school full day but there are holidays and summer break and such.

You have got to be kidding me.

I'm going to give OP the benefit of the doubt and assume that her dh just sprung this on her so she probably isn't thinking clearly. Op, I understand that this isn't what you planned but what if your husband died and it turned out that he hadn't paid the life insurance premiums? You would have to go back to work, right? What if he became disabled and didn't have disability insurance? You would have to go back to work, right? In addition to this: what if your husband loses his job? He won't be able to pay. I just don't see why you would want to tie yourself to him for the next however many years. You need to be able to start fending for yourself even if it is just by getting a job while the kids are in school.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP, but it's just preposterous to think that his income can support two separate households at an above-poverty standard of living. Sit down and run then numbers. You'll see.

[Anonymous]

OP -- you have been getting solid advice. Divorce is going to change your life and there's nothing you can do about it. Alimony to allow you to stay home until the youngest graduates HS is totally off-your-rocker unrealistic unless you have a child that is totally incapacitated with disability.

My ex was married for 16 years and his ex wife stayed home for a decade and then went back to work for a pittance as a paraeducator and even she didn't get anywhere near the amount of alimony you want -- not for lack of trying. The attorneys will look at your earning potential. If you have earning potential, you will have to get a job. Period.

Kids do well with working mothers. It's not like you NEED to be a SAHM. You just want to be. Stay married or marry someone else who will give you that life. Otherwise, get ready to see your name on a W2.
Stop being selfish and unrealistic.
GET A JOB.

[Anonymous]

It isn't "best" for your kids to see you living off your ex instead of fully yourself as you are capable of doing. What would you do if he died?

[Anonymous]

OP, I am going to chime in with my sister's story. She got divorced after being a SAHP until her kids finished high school and it was brutal. She got 3 years of alimony and half of a 401k to retrain and get back into the work force and that's it. She eventually re-certified her teaching license and is working but she is screwed. They divided the house upon its sale. It just sucked and it was hard to watch her struggle but she was stupid for not getting a plan together since her marriage was a mess for over a decade.

You have a heads up. Use it and get a life, OP.

[Anonymous]

Wow, if I was your DH I would want to leave too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too bad you aren't living in Florida. The courts still allow lifetime alimony. I have a friend who has been getting $2,800 a year for almost 10 years. She has a significant other, but they will never marry because she doesn't want to lose that alimony check. He also pays child support. It's a horrible situation. She had an affair. And he got screwed.

My DH divorced forever ago in Georgia. His ex got transitional alimony for two years. The judge lowered the child support amount and added alimony so that my DH wouldn't be paying both. When the two years were up, the child support increased to the presumptive amount. It didn't matter because we got custody of both kids just a few months later. They were 4 and 6. She ended up with nothing. The judge was very pro-father and really didn't like my DH's ex.

The message - Do not plan your life around alimony or child support.

$2800 a year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too bad you aren't living in Florida. The courts still allow lifetime alimony. I have a friend who has been getting $2,800 a year for almost 10 years. She has a significant other, but they will never marry because she doesn't want to lose that alimony check. He also pays child support. It's a horrible situation. She had an affair. And he got screwed.

My DH divorced forever ago in Georgia. His ex got transitional alimony for two years. The judge lowered the child support amount and added alimony so that my DH wouldn't be paying both. When the two years were up, the child support increased to the presumptive amount. It didn't matter because we got custody of both kids just a few months later. They were 4 and 6. She ended up with nothing. The judge was very pro-father and really didn't like my DH's ex.

The message - Do not plan your life around alimony or child support.

$2800 a year?

$2800 a month. Sorry. Big difference!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too bad you aren't living in Florida. The courts still allow lifetime alimony. I have a friend who has been getting $2,800 a year for almost 10 years. She has a significant other, but they will never marry because she doesn't want to lose that alimony check. He also pays child support. It's a horrible situation. She had an affair. And he got screwed.

My DH divorced forever ago in Georgia. His ex got transitional alimony for two years. The judge lowered the child support amount and added alimony so that my DH wouldn't be paying both. When the two years were up, the child support increased to the presumptive amount. It didn't matter because we got custody of both kids just a few months later. They were 4 and 6. She ended up with nothing. The judge was very pro-father and really didn't like my DH's ex.

The message - Do not plan your life around alimony or child support.

Off topic, but it's really scary that all it takes to take the young kids away from the mother is that the judge doesn't like her. Fuck Georgia. You seem to be strangely glad about visiting a world of pain on a mother whose only fault is marrying your DH first. Did you do it to save money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too bad you aren't living in Florida. The courts still allow lifetime alimony. I have a friend who has been getting $2,800 a year for almost 10 years. She has a significant other, but they will never marry because she doesn't want to lose that alimony check. He also pays child support. It's a horrible situation. She had an affair. And he got screwed.

My DH divorced forever ago in Georgia. His ex got transitional alimony for two years. The judge lowered the child support amount and added alimony so that my DH wouldn't be paying both. When the two years were up, the child support increased to the presumptive amount. It didn't matter because we got custody of both kids just a few months later. They were 4 and 6. She ended up with nothing. The judge was very pro-father and really didn't like my DH's ex.

The message - Do not plan your life around alimony or child support.

Off topic, but it's really scary that all it takes to take the young kids away from the mother is that the judge doesn't like her. Fuck Georgia. You seem to be strangely glad about visiting a world of pain on a mother whose only fault is marrying your DH first. Did you do it to save money?

+1