When could you tell that your child was a good athlete?

[Anonymous]

Encouraging teamwork is a great idea, OP. I've seen coaches have to take kids aside and say, "Larlo, soccer is a team sport" and it sounds like you're trying to help her understand that now. Good for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly your DD is interested in the various sports, attentive enough to pick up the rules, and focused enough to follow through on multiple rounds of play. That all counts for a lot at that age, and for many years to come. Just like it does for "academics" in elementary school, by the way. Strong Interest + Strong Attention Span + Focused Follow Through will get kids very, very far in the early years, regardless of their actual talent.

My advice is to focus on observing and praising those things above. When DD or DH or anyone else talks about how "good" she is at a sport, it's easy enough to answer, "She really enjoys it," or even better, "Yeah, she really likes it and has been practicing a lot."

The message is that it's not all about talent or giftedness. It's about practice (and attentiveness and focus), which leads to good results. Down the line in middle school or high school, will lots of practice and focus compensate if she turns out not to have decent athletic skills? Probably not. But in the meantime, she'll internalize the lesson that she has a lot of control over her performance, both on the field and off.

And of course, you really need to rein in your DH. It's exciting to see our kids doing something well, but he needs to control himself and his expectations before this becomes about HIM instead of your DD. The future will be what it will be. In the meantime, she's having fun and learning a lot. That's great, and it should be more than enough for DH.

Nope, you are missing out a big factor in most team sports- aggressiveness. Some kids are simply more aggressive and don't mind getting bumped or bumping other kids. They want to be first to the ball, and won't easily give it up. You can be interested in soccer or basketball, be able to sustain your attention, focus, practice a ton but if you aren't willing to go push for the ball or use your body to defend the ball, it is hard to do well. OP's kid sounds athletic AND aggressive (and I mean it in a good way, not a mean way), so will do well in many types if team sports. My oldest is coordinated, attentive, has great foot skills, is really interested in soccer, and practices moves a lot. He is a good player but won't ever be a great player because he simply isn't aggressive. Meanwhile his younger brother has fewer skills, isn't as attentive nor interested, but is really aggressive on the field. He wants the ball, is confident when he steals the ball away, and if he loses the ball will chase down any kid and get the ball back. He wins all the 50-50 balls. I get told all the time what a great player he is.

Yes, this is very true for soccer. Also for lacrosse, basketball, football and other sports where kids compete head to head to get the ball. But not for all sports.

Our DD is very interested in sports and very coordinated, attentive, focused etc., but not nearly as aggressive as the other kids. She liked soccer early on when it was just ball handling drills, but she began to dread it once it started including scrimmages. She would beat other kids to get to the ball and then would hesitate and pull back because she didn't want to get bumped. Just not her thing.

Rather than "help" her become more aggressive, we encouraged her to try other sports. Baseball and tennis were big hits. She loves both, in part because no one is coming at her to take the ball away. She can focus on her skills and also on being a good teammate (encouraging other kids when they come up to bat or when they field a ball) without worrying about getting hurt or being chased by another kid. She is also starting to enjoy running. Another solo performance type of sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A big part success in youth sports is when kids are 6-11 months older than their peers. But I agree with the PPs who say OP and her husband need to chill out and read the D1 scholarship thread.

This was covered in one of those Malcolm Gladwell books, I can't remember which one I just remember I read it on a vacation a few years ago- maybe Tipping Point? About how most all Canadian pro hockey players are born between Jan-March or something like that because it allowed them to be the bigger, faster, older kids at each level and gave them a bit of an edge each level (of course its not the be all and end all but it was statistically significant!)

[Anonymous]

One of my grandsons: Walked at 9 months. Was the "best" at any sport he tried. Every coach wanted him to drop everything else and only do X. Set some county records at age 8 or 9. Refused to specialize. We didn't push just let him play for fun. No expensive clubs or clinics. Now in High School. Plays three varsity sports at a "sporty" school. Is one of the better players but not the most polished. Has talked to several recruiters, but wants to wait to see if that is what hew wants to do. I personally would prefer he not do Div. 1 sports because i want him to have a more normal college experience.
Kids develop at different rates athletically. You cannot tell at 10 who will make it to NFL or MLB. Or even who will be recruited. So just provide fun opportunities. Stress teamwork and sportsmanship. Don't forget academics and the arts.

[Anonymous]

Any kid that is fairly coordinated can be a good athlete if they are interested in the sport.

My oldest has adhd and would get too distracted to be good at soccer. His HS coach in 9th grade (different sport) told him that he wasn't cut out for his sport and that he should quit. He stuck with it and was named to the WAPO AllMet first team. He now is on an athletic scholarship at a D1 school and wants to go to the olympics.

You never know who is going to be good in a sport. It all depends on dedication, passion, growth, luck in not getting hurt, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any kid that is fairly coordinated can be a good athlete if they are interested in the sport.

My oldest has adhd and would get too distracted to be good at soccer. His HS coach in 9th grade (different sport) told him that he wasn't cut out for his sport and that he should quit. He stuck with it and was named to the WAPO AllMet first team. He now is on an athletic scholarship at a D1 school and wants to go to the olympics.

You never know who is going to be good in a sport. It all depends on dedication, passion, growth, luck in not getting hurt, etc.

This is awesome.

[Anonymous]

OP, I trust that you are asking because you realize that it's our responsibility as parents to allow our kids the chance to thrive when we see a combination of natural talent and passion for the activity. It's not because you or DH are living vicariously, or competing with friends/neighbors, right?

Sounds like she certainly has passion and some raw talent, but she doesn't have her individual skills yet. She should work on that. Find her a GOOD clinic or camp that she would enjoy. It should not be associated with a travel/club team. All they are doing is scouting for talent. She is too young to be a on highly competitive team. I have seen too many parents kill their kids' passion for a sport by focusing on the team's wins/losses. So, just stick with the team she already enjoys and find a way to develop her personal skills. DO NOT put her on a highly competitive team until it is her idea! Let me repeat that: DO NOT put her on a highly competitive team until it is her idea! She probably won't ask for that until she is 10 or 11.

They say that the average person will play a sport for a maximum of 12 years. If you start them at 5 or 6, that puts them wanting to retire just before a potential college career. I have seen that happen to several friends. their kid is good enough to play in college and get scholarships but they burn out and don't want to play after high school.

Most kids that show talent early on do seem to retain it. But that's not always the case. Any number of things, such as an awkward growth spurt, could throw things off. That happened to me. I was shaping up to be a track superstar until about 7th grade. suddenly I was very tall (but not long legs), I wasn't fat but I was heavy/solid, and had big boobs. Running career over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A big part success in youth sports is when kids are 6-11 months older than their peers. But I agree with the PPs who say OP and her husband need to chill out and read the D1 scholarship thread.

This was covered in one of those Malcolm Gladwell books, I can't remember which one I just remember I read it on a vacation a few years ago- maybe Tipping Point? About how most all Canadian pro hockey players are born between Jan-March or something like that because it allowed them to be the bigger, faster, older kids at each level and gave them a bit of an edge each level (of course its not the be all and end all but it was statistically significant!)

I'm not familiar with the book but only can share my own anecdotal evidence. As kids get older, the difference in age balances out and the kids who were great athletes at a young age are fairly average by HS. Obviously, some people are just better athletes and in order to go pro, you have to be one of the athletic freaks. For the rest of us, you'll eventually have to work just as hard (or harder) than your peers to make the varsity team. But when kids are young, the kids who are "old for their grade" have a distinct advantage.

At any rate- parents shouldn't be thinking about D1 scholarships unless that's your only means to a college education. Kids have to work 40+ hours per week year-round to continue earning the "free ride" and their grades and social life almost always suffer as a result. Just have fun, encourage healthy activity, and enjoy your kids when they're little.

[Anonymous]

This is all comical to me. I was a D1 athlete and I would not wish that on my child. It is grueling and not really worth it. You miss out on so much by spending a ridiculous amount of time on your sport. People constantly tell me my 18 month old is good on his feet and strong. While fun to watch now, I'm not stupid enough to think this means he will be a star athlete. A huge portion of athletics is mental anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is all comical to me. I was a D1 athlete and I would not wish that on my child. It is grueling and not really worth it. You miss out on so much by spending a ridiculous amount of time on your sport. People constantly tell me my 18 month old is good on his feet and strong. While fun to watch now, I'm not stupid enough to think this means he will be a star athlete. A huge portion of athletics is mental anyway.

True. But don't you think some athletic characteristics like exceptional hand-to-eye corordination are inate, and show themselves early?

[Anonymous]

My really good swimmer screamed the first time we put her in a pool and couldn't swim on her own until she was nearly 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is in kindergarten. She plays soccer, basketball and tennis and seems to play them well. In soccer, she typically scored 4 or 5 goals per game. (No goalies!) She's small, but could score 5 or 6 times in a basketball game. No problem stripping someone of the ball and dribbling it away. She just seems to understand the games better than other kids do at this age. In both sports, she just steals the ball, dribbles it down the court and shoots. She doesn't understand why nobody chases her and tries to get the ball back! (When one basketball player did, DD was surprised once and anticipated it the next time.)

Is this just a case of having an aggressive, driven kid or is this what your athletic child looked like at this age? DH is very excited that she's got some athletic abilities. While I'm happy to have her running around enjoying team sports, I'm expecting everyone else to catch up pretty quickly once they realize how the games are played. I'm also trying to manage DD's expectations -- she counted her goals from the fall soccer season and is fully expecting to score another 17 goals this spring; I don't want her to get discouraged if she doesn't manage to do that.

FWIW, I'm relatively athletic and DH has two left feet. Our older son can hold his own in a few sports -- and watching his sister's focus playing soccer actually helped him improve game a good bit last fall.

I think your bigger worry is that she doesn't play like she's on a team.

The child is in kindergarten. There's no reason to expect her to have a sophisticated passing game at that age.

OP-sounds like you have a very good handle on things, but I want to add that in my view you shouldn't be worrying about whether she's being a good "team player" right now. It's a relatively rare thing to see a girl this young aggressively trying to score and take a lot of pride in doing so. Nurture those instincts, and don't make her feel bad about it! She'll be a great striker if she continues on this path and will learn a lot about being a leader off the field as well. Just emphasize that she should listen to her coach and avoid doing anything mean like over-celebrating or complaining about less good teammates. She'll learn to share as she gets older.

[Anonymous]

My DD was always extremely coordinated and had amazing motor ability from the time she was a baby. She loved sports and was good at whatever she did. At 5 it would have looked like she was destined for athletic stardom. She's just naturally athletic. But, she's not particularly aggressive or competitive, so she did not become an amazing high school athlete. I could care less, I love the fact that she loves playing a variety of sports and that she'll be able to do that forever. Nurture your kid's interest(s), but don't imagine he or she will be a professional athlete!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow, lots of input!

I'm trying to get DH to take it easy. She's 6!! And she's not going to be a professional athlete. She passed up one sport this spring in favor of trying something new. DH didn't love that and wanted her to cram everything in, but I said no. I think that 17:37 really summed up my attitude well -- praise the effort and focus, not the result. I think I can get him to concentrate on that pretty easily. I also think that it is important that she have fun and enjoy what she's doing.
asy with
To the poster who said to emphasize the team aspect of things, you're spot on! It is a little hard to do when she's playing with kids who are afraid to catch the ball or just hang out an pick grass. And the habit of not keeping score for the TEAM in rec soccer or basketball does lead a child to keep track of her own points. We figured that out with soccer and managed to change the focus during basketball a bit -- nice pass to lily! or good catch when Kate threw you a pass. It did distract her from counting her own baskets, at least.

I'm sure a lot of this will even out with maturation. I've always loved sports and find them a fun, worthwhile outlet in their own right. So I'll support her if she wants to practice or play more (within reason), but I'm not going to force her beyond her interests at all.[/quote

It is very easy with a kid who is playing with playing that aren't interested or don't have good coordination skills to look like the superstar. Desire is as important to a good athlete as skills.

If you move her when she is older to a more competitive team that has goalies and she is still scoring 5-6 goals a game then you have something. At 6 with the situation you describe it sounds like she loves sports and has the passion.

relax. You have a long way to go.

[Anonymous]

My son, and several of his friends, showed great athletic ability early on. They went on to make travel teams and win all games in any rec teams they were involved in. It's now several years later (they are 12) and they are still very athletic, and a few are natural athletes (not my son) but the amount of practice and repetition they have had has put them at an advantage. Particularly if they decided to focus a bit, as we did, with one travel sport. My son does a mid level league in another sport, a rec in another, and golf in the summer, as well as the related teams for his school (private). He's very middle of the pack. I do see a few of his friends from the early days (that we still play with) doing exceptionally well as they did from the beginning.