My kids are in MS - are all the enrichment activities worth it?

[Anonymous]

If you didn't see it, Frank Bruni had an interesting piece about college admissions in the NYT this weekend:

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/15/opinion/sunday/frank-bruni-how-to-survive-the-college-admissions-madness.html?_r=0

He talks about kids taking different paths (Yale vs. Indiana University) and still ending up with the same consulting firm after college. (Indiana student later went to Harvard Business School.)

"But for too many parents and their children, acceptance by an elite institution isn’t just another challenge, just another goal. A yes or no from Amherst or the University of Virginia or the University of Chicago is seen as the conclusive measure of a young person’s worth, an uncontestable harbinger of the accomplishments or disappointments to come. Winner or loser: This is when the judgment is made. This is the great, brutal culling.

Continue reading the main story
What madness. And what nonsense."

[Anonymous]

MS is a good time to make sure the basics are mastered in the core school subjects.

[Anonymous]

This article on preventing teen suicide makes the point better than I have. And if you think your DC could never develop mental illness, think again. I have seen it over and over again in kids with loving parents.

http://www.paloaltoonline.com/news/2015/03/16/guest-opinion-keep-calm-and-parent-on#.VQkrlHeD5ec.facebook

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This article on preventing teen suicide makes the point better than I have. And if you think your DC could never develop mental illness, think again. I have seen it over and over again in kids with loving parents.

http://www.paloaltoonline.com/news/2015/03/16/guest-opinion-keep-calm-and-parent-on#.VQkrlHeD5ec.facebook

Thanks for posting!

[Anonymous]

I think the competition on extracurricular activities is even more toxic than academics. Extracurricular should be just such, extra. Kids should only do what they enjoy. Elite colleges invented this war to get the demographic they want for their school. Parents drink the cool-aid and thinking that they are bringing up well-rounded kids. But how many kids can truly excel in both academics and many activities. I would rather my kids be a good student.

Oh, well, there is always graduate school. As far as I can tell, they don't care about extracurricular et al.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really, really, really excelling at one is better than being an All Arounder. Or so they say.

And if you really, really, really are average at everything other than academics? Then what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really, really, really excelling at one is better than being an All Arounder. Or so they say.

And if you really, really, really are average at everything other than academics? Then what?

You will go on to a decent college and graduate with honors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This article on preventing teen suicide makes the point better than I have. And if you think your DC could never develop mental illness, think again. I have seen it over and over again in kids with loving parents.

http://www.paloaltoonline.com/news/2015/03/16/guest-opinion-keep-calm-and-parent-on#.VQkrlHeD5ec.facebook

Thanks for posting!

Yes! Whenever in doubt, I will channel a Koala mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really, really, really excelling at one is better than being an All Arounder. Or so they say.

And if you really, really, really are average at everything other than academics? Then what?

^^My point is that for some kids, trying lots of things is part of the joy of childhood. Not everyone is going to be the "star," so trying on different hats to potentially find your future joy is a good thing IMO. I did have one sport that I stuck with because I enjoyed it (I was far from really, really, excelling at it); but I also have a long list of things I tried because I wanted to see what it was like - and that long list made for a very interesting life and lets me talk about a lot of different things from experience. It was fun to try synchronized swimming, robotics, fencing, chess, high jump, Model UN, tap dancing, fundraising for a cause, golf, waitressing, etc. I never felt like I needed to be the best at any of them, but trying them all made for a rich and interesting life. And FWIW, I grabbed the brass ring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD has low muscle tone. Both DH and I were three varsity letter athletes in high school. We encouraged her to play soccer, like we both played. DD sprained her ankle one fall and dislocated her knee cap the next.

She no longer does "sports." Her body just isn't built for the competition. She swims/plays in the pool, rides her bike and we hike as a family instead.

When it comes to her college application, she won't have a single sports team listed. If colleges won't accept her because they care about athletics, they'll pass on a very caring, thoughtful young woman. Their loss.

Plenty of spots for non- athletic kids. Have her do what she likes- that will stick.

Yup - I know that. I am at peace after some struggles to realize that she just was not built for sports.

She loves to write. It has been neat ti watch her write Harry Potter spins off in elementary school and now teen-age romance novels in middle school. I am in awe. She has taught me so much about acceptance and calmness.

I sleep easily knowing that she won't be sitting on the couch of a psychologist dishing crap about her upbringing when she's 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really, really, really excelling at one is better than being an All Arounder. Or so they say.

And if you really, really, really are average at everything other than academics? Then what?

^^My point is that for some kids, trying lots of things is part of the joy of childhood. Not everyone is going to be the "star," so trying on different hats to potentially find your future joy is a good thing IMO. I did have one sport that I stuck with because I enjoyed it (I was far from really, really, excelling at it); but I also have a long list of things I tried because I wanted to see what it was like - and that long list made for a very interesting life and lets me talk about a lot of different things from experience. It was fun to try synchronized swimming, robotics, fencing, chess, high jump, Model UN, tap dancing, fundraising for a cause, golf, waitressing, etc. I never felt like I needed to be the best at any of them, but trying them all made for a rich and interesting life. And FWIW, I grabbed the brass ring.

Great attitude. Wish I had done this when I was younger!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the competition on extracurricular activities is even more toxic than academics. Extracurricular should be just such, extra. Kids should only do what they enjoy. Elite colleges invented this war to get the demographic they want for their school. Parents drink the cool-aid and thinking that they are bringing up well-rounded kids. But how many kids can truly excel in both academics and many activities. I would rather my kids be a good student.

Oh, well, there is always graduate school. As far as I can tell, they don't care about extracurricular et al.

I agree totally. I think extracurriculars shouldn't even be considered in college admissions. But that's not the world we're living in. I'm not the OP, but it annoys me when someone asks a perfectly reasonable question that parents in this day and age would have, that others feel the need to completely chastise them for daring to think about how to maximize their kid's chances for college admissions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[

I sleep easily knowing that she won't be sitting on the couch of a psychologist dishing crap about her upbringing when she's 30.

Sure she will. We have no idea yet what the next generation will be complaining out that we did wrong. Probably something that we can't even imagine is an issue, certainly not the thing that worries us all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop, OP, just stop. It is not good to start worrying about resume building in middle school. Its unhealthy. It adds to the incredible pressure all these kids face. It makes every choice transactional -- will this help, or not? -- so that kids lose the sense of learning for its own sake or enjoying an activity for its own sake. It is stunting. It is a waste of childhood. It is why I believe we have ruined an entire generation of children and they will one day be very, very angry with us.

Is it worth it? If he enjoys it. That is the only answer.

I agree with this so much.

Yep.

Beautiful.

[Anonymous]

OP Here: I have my kids in all these extra-curriculars. Driving them around here and there. Stressing out on having to balance it all. As you escalate in these skills it gets harder and harder. The level of competition can be overwhelming. It would be great if they can achieve it for themselves but it sounds like it will come to a head in high school on what things they should pursue or not based on responses to this thread. I want them to have good skills in life too not just for college. When I grew up I didn't have the chance to experience all that kids have these days. Maybe I would have been a better person to have more passions in my life to reach for in times of stress.