When guys don't call

[Anonymous]

PP, don't feel foolish. After three dates, it was perfectly appropriate to text him. If he doesn't reciprocate, know that this happens to everyone in the dating world, sooner or later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For some it could mean he's not into you and for others it could be that he's trying not to seem desperate. I don't think girls need to wait for guys to be the one to follow up, however only one text/call until he calls you. I dated a guy who like to play the hot/cold game because of insecurity issues he had. (He would randomly distance himself after feeling he let his guard down too much.) SOOOOO not worth the time I put in to that relationship. Don't let yourself fall for a guy who plays games.

Op here again - this is exactly what happened over the past few months!! I have to call him twice now to get him to call me once. It's so frustrating but it does keep me hooked a little I have to admit.

And pp hijacker, no worries! Hijack away, looks like we're in the same boat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I don’t mean to hijack either! Thank you OP (and the other PP) for posting as I found this thread helpful for my related situation.

I told my bf that I needed to take a break from the relationship, and we agreed to check back in with each other in a few weeks to see where we were. Well a few weeks passed, and I checked in and offered to see him if he wanted to talk in person. He agreed that he did and then...nothing.

I'm seeing what the pps said, and it reinforces the painful truth that if he wanted to see me, he would. It's that simple. I don't want to put my feelings at risk by reaching out again when his silence speaks volumes.

I guess it's time to move on, sadly.

Are you serious? 99.99% of the time, when a woman says she wants to take a break, it means that the relationship is over. He didn't want to meet so he could avoid the "we need to break up because,,,,,/I still want to be friends" speech.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I don’t mean to hijack either! Thank you OP (and the other PP) for posting as I found this thread helpful for my related situation.

I told my bf that I needed to take a break from the relationship, and we agreed to check back in with each other in a few weeks to see where we were. Well a few weeks passed, and I checked in and offered to see him if he wanted to talk in person. He agreed that he did and then...nothing.

I'm seeing what the pps said, and it reinforces the painful truth that if he wanted to see me, he would. It's that simple. I don't want to put my feelings at risk by reaching out again when his silence speaks volumes.

I guess it's time to move on, sadly.

Are you serious? 99.99% of the time, when a woman says she wants to take a break, it means that the relationship is over. He didn't want to meet so he could avoid the "we need to break up because,,,,,/I still want to be friends" speech.

PP here. Fair enough. Although if we actually could have had a chance to talk in person, that's not exactly what I would have said...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I don’t mean to hijack either! Thank you OP (and the other PP) for posting as I found this thread helpful for my related situation.

I told my bf that I needed to take a break from the relationship, and we agreed to check back in with each other in a few weeks to see where we were. Well a few weeks passed, and I checked in and offered to see him if he wanted to talk in person. He agreed that he did and then...nothing.

I'm seeing what the pps said, and it reinforces the painful truth that if he wanted to see me, he would. It's that simple. I don't want to put my feelings at risk by reaching out again when his silence speaks volumes.

I guess it's time to move on, sadly.

Are you serious? 99.99% of the time, when a woman says she wants to take a break, it means that the relationship is over. He didn't want to meet so he could avoid the "we need to break up because,,,,,/I still want to be friends" speech.

PP here. Fair enough. Although if we actually could have had a chance to talk in person, that's not exactly what I would have said...

But he knew it was not going to be good news because you initiated the break. So he figured, why listen and waste my time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I don’t mean to hijack either! Thank you OP (and the other PP) for posting as I found this thread helpful for my related situation.

I told my bf that I needed to take a break from the relationship, and we agreed to check back in with each other in a few weeks to see where we were. Well a few weeks passed, and I checked in and offered to see him if he wanted to talk in person. He agreed that he did and then...nothing.

I'm seeing what the pps said, and it reinforces the painful truth that if he wanted to see me, he would. It's that simple. I don't want to put my feelings at risk by reaching out again when his silence speaks volumes.

I guess it's time to move on, sadly.

Are you serious? 99.99% of the time, when a woman says she wants to take a break, it means that the relationship is over. He didn't want to meet so he could avoid the "we need to break up because,,,,,/I still want to be friends" speech.

PP here. Fair enough. Although if we actually could have had a chance to talk in person, that's not exactly what I would have said...

But he knew it was not going to be good news because you initiated the break. So he figured, why listen and waste my time?

Again, fair enough. So what would you suggest?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here: no way to know. Most men have encountered situations where they were really into someone, but blew it by appearing overeager. He might just not be that into you, or he might be playing it cool.

yep. this. women who complain, guys have been burned too many times if they come off as 'over eager'. so no we're not going to call you, we've learned.

[Anonymous]

Not sure this is relevant but: when I was casually dating my now DH I told him that I was going out of town and made the flippant comment that I would "be in touch when I got back." I returned from trip and waited two weeks for him to call me, having completely forgotten that I said that. I finally broke down and called him. He thought I was blowing him off. We've been married 12 years and he still reminds me of that near misd

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For some it could mean he's not into you and for others it could be that he's trying not to seem desperate. I don't think girls need to wait for guys to be the one to follow up, however only one text/call until he calls you. I dated a guy who like to play the hot/cold game because of insecurity issues he had. (He would randomly distance himself after feeling he let his guard down too much.) SOOOOO not worth the time I put in to that relationship. Don't let yourself fall for a guy who plays games.

Op here again - this is exactly what happened over the past few months!! I have to call him twice now to get him to call me once. It's so frustrating but it does keep me hooked a little I have to admit.

And pp hijacker, no worries! Hijack away, looks like we're in the same boat

Here's the thing, guys like that never change. Trust me, I dated this guy for two years. He asked me to move in with him and then a week later initiated a break-up talk. Then, as usual, he tried to repair things. Straw that broke the camel's back for me, so it was over. Since then I've dated a couple wonderful men who were nothing like that. So much better. Spend your time looking for someone that doesn't keep you on an emotional roller coaster-- dating should be FUN!

[Anonymous]

Unless he was kidnapped by aliens + swept off to Mars, got hit by a commuter train or was busted by the Feds for leading a Meth ring...then I think not.

If a guy really likes you, he will be thinking of you often and will not want another guy to snatch you up first.

So he will want to spend more time w/you and get to know you.

No guy is ever "too busy" at work or whatever to call.

If he hasn't contacted you, then accept it and move on.

He isn't worth it. Find one who is.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I don’t mean to hijack either! Thank you OP (and the other PP) for posting as I found this thread helpful for my related situation.

I told my bf that I needed to take a break from the relationship, and we agreed to check back in with each other in a few weeks to see where we were. Well a few weeks passed, and I checked in and offered to see him if he wanted to talk in person. He agreed that he did and then...nothing.

I'm seeing what the pps said, and it reinforces the painful truth that if he wanted to see me, he would. It's that simple. I don't want to put my feelings at risk by reaching out again when his silence speaks volumes.

I guess it's time to move on, sadly.

Are you serious? 99.99% of the time, when a woman says she wants to take a break, it means that the relationship is over. He didn't want to meet so he could avoid the "we need to break up because,,,,,/I still want to be friends" speech.

PP here. Fair enough. Although if we actually could have had a chance to talk in person, that's not exactly what I would have said...

But he knew it was not going to be good news because you initiated the break. So he figured, why listen and waste my time?

Again, fair enough. So what would you suggest?

What is your problem? You contacted him during the break, he did nothing because he knew it was over and was starting to get over it. Why do women have to do "something" and torture the poor guy? Why do you have to sit there like a shrink telling him that you enjoyed the good time and then lay out reasons why it is over?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there ever a situation where he doesn't call, or takes forever to call you back, but he is actually into you? Or is this behavior an obvious sign of tepid interest?

Turnabout is fair play. Are you putting out for him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure this is relevant but: when I was casually dating my now DH I told him that I was going out of town and made the flippant comment that I would "be in touch when I got back." I returned from trip and waited two weeks for him to call me, having completely forgotten that I said that. I finally broke down and called him. He thought I was blowing him off. We've been married 12 years and he still reminds me of that near misd

I was 2.5 months in dating my now-husband, went on a business trip and on that trip my sister had my first niece and I was so excited that I called him, more than once. And he never called me back and I was getting so unbelievably pissed, like who the hell doesn't acknowledge the birth of a baby even if you're no longer interested kind of pissed. Turns out he was called out of town for work very quickly with no notice and forgot his cell phone and didn't get any of my messages until he came back. Weird stuff does happen...

[Anonymous]

I was once very late calling back someone after a promising third date. When I met her, was in the midst of getting over someone else and had to think through a little bit because I knew my date and I had a lot of potential. So OP, things happen you may know nothing about. Translation: tough to do but don't take it personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there ever a situation where he doesn't call, or takes forever to call you back, but he is actually into you? Or is this behavior an obvious sign of tepid interest?

Turnabout is fair play. Are you putting out for him?

Op here, and yes, all the time. I go down, I swallow. I'm pretty sure my libido is higher than his, actually.