How much help was your DC's HS counselor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Completely useless to the point of detrimental. She has a son one grade or two ahead of DS. Her son goes to Rutgers. My son vehemently hates New Jersey. She kept encouraging him to go to Rutgers, even after he said he will never in his entire life spend the night in New Jersey let alone attend school there. Besides that, he was considering schools like Boston U, Cornell, Berkeley, Duke, etc.

Unfortunate, that counselor was swayed by what sounds like her son's good experience at Rutgers. But interesting that a 17-18-year old can hate a state so vehemently that he wouldn't even spend the night there. Really???? Sounds a little close-minded.

Lol, he was 16 when he went to college. He also hates CT. My DD hates AZ (for political reasons). Whatever, they're allowed to have their weird quirks - everyone's got them. Both are happy and went to schools that rank better than Rutgers.

[Anonymous]

Nearly detrimental at an elite private. Kid got into Ivy through other channels.

[Anonymous]

I hated the fact that my child's counselor seems to think everyone should go to UMCP. It's a good school and all but the hyperfocus of the counselor on College Park as the pinnacle of success was just annoying.

[Anonymous]

HS counselor encouraged anyone to apply to an ivy- regardless of record. They were viewed as reaches for everyone- great, good and poor students alike. Also discouraged ED and EA because you don't find out aid at that time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Completely useless to the point of detrimental. She has a son one grade or two ahead of DS. Her son goes to Rutgers. My son vehemently hates New Jersey. She kept encouraging him to go to Rutgers, even after he said he will never in his entire life spend the night in New Jersey let alone attend school there. Besides that, he was considering schools like Boston U, Cornell, Berkeley, Duke, etc.

Unfortunate, that counselor was swayed by what sounds like her son's good experience at Rutgers. But interesting that a 17-18-year old can hate a state so vehemently that he wouldn't even spend the night there. Really???? Sounds a little close-minded.

I'm sure that Princeton is besides itself that PP's son won't deign to spend a night in New Jersey.

Seriously, if my kid said something so stupid about any state, I'd laugh in his face and tell him to stop being a tool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Completely useless to the point of detrimental. She has a son one grade or two ahead of DS. Her son goes to Rutgers. My son vehemently hates New Jersey. She kept encouraging him to go to Rutgers, even after he said he will never in his entire life spend the night in New Jersey let alone attend school there. Besides that, he was considering schools like Boston U, Cornell, Berkeley, Duke, etc.

Unfortunate, that counselor was swayed by what sounds like her son's good experience at Rutgers. But interesting that a 17-18-year old can hate a state so vehemently that he wouldn't even spend the night there. Really???? Sounds a little close-minded.

I'm sure that Princeton is besides itself that PP's son won't deign to spend a night in New Jersey.

Seriously, if my kid said something so stupid about any state, I'd laugh in his face and tell him to stop being a tool.

Agree. The kid probably has other irrational biases as well, which are probably more harmful in the long run than refusing to spend the night in a random state.

[Anonymous]

As a new high school counselor (I'm an experienced counselor, just new to working at the high school level) - there is a severe lack of professional development and training in college counseling. In earning my Master's degree to become a school counselor, there are no courses in this area. And, now on the job, the school system does not invest in any professional development in how to support families with the college search.

I am one of those people who love visiting colleges and consider myself well-traveled. I've been on campuses from Michigan to Maine - but it's impossible to know about all colleges. When I review lists of colleges with my students, there are always some small schools in New England or the Mid-West that I've simply never heard of before. I also worked 10 years in the corporate world at a prestigious firm, and am still limited to knowledge only of colleges where my colleagues attended.

My advice to parents and students is to take their sophomores and juniors to visit Georgetown, GWU, AU, College Park, George Mason, etc to help your student narrow down the size, campus type (urban, suburban). And, when on vacation, try to squeeze in some college visits just to get them thinking about colleges. Then, it'd good to help your student narrow down a geographic area...although this is always tough - as I have students interested in California schools, but also schools in Boston and in NC. With the Common App, students now apply to 8-12 schools.

I'm hoping that I get better with helping students and their families with more years of experience - but please don't knock your child's counselor. Most of them (including me) are doing the best we can!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Completely useless to the point of detrimental. She has a son one grade or two ahead of DS. Her son goes to Rutgers. My son vehemently hates New Jersey. She kept encouraging him to go to Rutgers, even after he said he will never in his entire life spend the night in New Jersey let alone attend school there. Besides that, he was considering schools like Boston U, Cornell, Berkeley, Duke, etc.

Unfortunate, that counselor was swayed by what sounds like her son's good experience at Rutgers. But interesting that a 17-18-year old can hate a state so vehemently that he wouldn't even spend the night there. Really???? Sounds a little close-minded.

I'm sure that Princeton is besides itself that PP's son won't deign to spend a night in New Jersey.

Seriously, if my kid said something so stupid about any state, I'd laugh in his face and tell him to stop being a tool.

You probably wouldn't come on DCUM and brag that he went to college at 16 (!) either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a new high school counselor (I'm an experienced counselor, just new to working at the high school level) - there is a severe lack of professional development and training in college counseling. In earning my Master's degree to become a school counselor, there are no courses in this area. And, now on the job, the school system does not invest in any professional development in how to support families with the college search.

I am one of those people who love visiting colleges and consider myself well-traveled. I've been on campuses from Michigan to Maine - but it's impossible to know about all colleges. When I review lists of colleges with my students, there are always some small schools in New England or the Mid-West that I've simply never heard of before. I also worked 10 years in the corporate world at a prestigious firm, and am still limited to knowledge only of colleges where my colleagues attended.

My advice to parents and students is to take their sophomores and juniors to visit Georgetown, GWU, AU, College Park, George Mason, etc to help your student narrow down the size, campus type (urban, suburban). And, when on vacation, try to squeeze in some college visits just to get them thinking about colleges. Then, it'd good to help your student narrow down a geographic area...although this is always tough - as I have students interested in California schools, but also schools in Boston and in NC. With the Common App, students now apply to 8-12 schools.

I'm hoping that I get better with helping students and their families with more years of experience - but please don't knock your child's counselor. Most of them (including me) are doing the best we can!!

Great post. Please, please, please tell me you work at a public.

[Anonymous]

Will be facing this soon so serious question.....do I need the counselor? I am another type of counselor, have worked at a few univerisities in my younger years.

My kid is very average but very social/ well-liked in general by teachers/ adults. He is defintely liberal arts.

I want small for him as he will need a connection to faculty/staff as has adhd issues.

He also has a good connection to our catholic faith so I am thinking look at a few small catholic schools and a few small state schools in VA like Mary Wash or Longwood and call it a day. I can speak to them about cost and I can look on line to see if they want 3 or 4 yrs of a language, for example.

He is Eagle Scout, does a sport, and very involved with youth group, so will have referneces. Am I missing something? Love his counselor but she is young and seems overwhelmed, career center person not impressed. I really like our large public so nothing against them but I just don't see the need. Is this wrong and should I be working with them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will be facing this soon so serious question.....do I need the counselor? I am another type of counselor, have worked at a few univerisities in my younger years.

My kid is very average but very social/ well-liked in general by teachers/ adults. He is defintely liberal arts.

I want small for him as he will need a connection to faculty/staff as has adhd issues.

He also has a good connection to our catholic faith so I am thinking look at a few small catholic schools and a few small state schools in VA like Mary Wash or Longwood and call it a day. I can speak to them about cost and I can look on line to see if they want 3 or 4 yrs of a language, for example.

He is Eagle Scout, does a sport, and very involved with youth group, so will have referneces. Am I missing something? Love his counselor but she is young and seems overwhelmed, career center person not impressed. I really like our large public so nothing against them but I just don't see the need. Is this wrong and should I be working with them?

It sounds like you're on top of everything. Ideally you want to have a relationship with the counselor so she's inclined to give her best efforts when it comes to compiling a recommendation and getting the transcripts out the door, but not dependent on her for nuanced recommendations.

[Anonymous]

As a parent, you have too much at stake to not be involved pretty heavily in the college choice, application process, etc. for your child.

I don't think it used to be so much like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Completely useless to the point of detrimental. She has a son one grade or two ahead of DS. Her son goes to Rutgers. My son vehemently hates New Jersey. She kept encouraging him to go to Rutgers, even after he said he will never in his entire life spend the night in New Jersey let alone attend school there. Besides that, he was considering schools like Boston U, Cornell, Berkeley, Duke, etc.

Unfortunate, that counselor was swayed by what sounds like her son's good experience at Rutgers. But interesting that a 17-18-year old can hate a state so vehemently that he wouldn't even spend the night there. Really???? Sounds a little close-minded.

I'm sure that Princeton is besides itself that PP's son won't deign to spend a night in New Jersey.

Seriously, if my kid said something so stupid about any state, I'd laugh in his face and tell him to stop being a tool.

Eh, kids are goofballs about some things. There are 49 other states, no big deal. If his cuts off his nose to spite his face, he'll have to make do with a different opportunity, and that's what the pp said he did.

I have a different take on the counselor though. Not that her kid had such a great experience at Rutgers, but that she wasn't interested in seeing someone she viewed as a peer "do better." That's my interpretation, and I think Rutgers is a lively school with many opportunities.

Whoever posted about guidance counselors encouraging everyone to apply to Harvard showed another really stupid approach to college guidance. Noticing my DC's school, which sends most kids to community college and in state, there are a disproportionate number of applications to Harvard (almost zero admits over the last 5 years) and few to other selective colleges at which some of these kids would have a shot. Can only think the guidance is poor.

[Anonymous]

Us: "DD wants to go to X, X, X but they may be a bit too expensive."

Counselor: "Oh, well you could always go with the financial aid route."

Oh, I didn't realize it was that easy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Completely useless to the point of detrimental. She has a son one grade or two ahead of DS. Her son goes to Rutgers. My son vehemently hates New Jersey. She kept encouraging him to go to Rutgers, even after he said he will never in his entire life spend the night in New Jersey let alone attend school there. Besides that, he was considering schools like Boston U, Cornell, Berkeley, Duke, etc.

Unfortunate, that counselor was swayed by what sounds like her son's good experience at Rutgers. But interesting that a 17-18-year old can hate a state so vehemently that he wouldn't even spend the night there. Really???? Sounds a little close-minded.

I'm sure that Princeton is besides itself that PP's son won't deign to spend a night in New Jersey.

Seriously, if my kid said something so stupid about any state, I'd laugh in his face and tell him to stop being a tool.

Eh, kids are goofballs about some things. There are 49 other states, no big deal. If his cuts off his nose to spite his face, he'll have to make do with a different opportunity, and that's what the pp said he did.

I have a different take on the counselor though. Not that her kid had such a great experience at Rutgers, but that she wasn't interested in seeing someone she viewed as a peer "do better." That's my interpretation, and I think Rutgers is a lively school with many opportunities.

Whoever posted about guidance counselors encouraging everyone to apply to Harvard showed another really stupid approach to college guidance. Noticing my DC's school, which sends most kids to community college and in state, there are a disproportionate number of applications to Harvard (almost zero admits over the last 5 years) and few to other selective colleges at which some of these kids would have a shot. Can only think the guidance is poor.

Or maybe some parents are just really indulgent and the counselor didn't have a very broad frame of reference.