If your middle-schooler has limited (or no) screen time during the week

[Anonymous]

Well, 4-4:30 unwind, 4:30-6:30 homework, 6:30-7-ish eat, 7-8 shower, practice instrument, practice Hebrew (preparing for bar mitzvah) then get in bed. Maybe reads 30-40 minutes somewhere in there...not a lot of extra time and that's if we get home by 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, 4-4:30 unwind, 4:30-6:30 homework, 6:30-7-ish eat, 7-8 shower, practice instrument, practice Hebrew (preparing for bar mitzvah) then get in bed. Maybe reads 30-40 minutes somewhere in there...not a lot of extra time and that's if we get home by 4.

By the age of 12 your kid should be able to shower in under an hour.v

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Draw, talk, chores, play with our pets, help cook, read magazines and books. Just like we did when we were kids. Its not easy, but its worth it!

Maybe that's what you did. I watched a ton of the Love Boat, Fantasy Island, and Miami Vice.

Right? In. Idle school I got home at 2:30, watched the last half hour of a soap opera, then walked the dog, then maybe went to dance class, then watched tv while doing homework, helped make dinner, ate, finished homework while listening to the radio, then watched tv from 8-10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Draw, talk, chores, play with our pets, help cook, read magazines and books. Just like we did when we were kids. Its not easy, but its worth it!

Maybe that's what you did. I watched a ton of the Love Boat, Fantasy Island, and Miami Vice.

Right? In. Idle school I got home at 2:30, watched the last half hour of a soap opera, then walked the dog, then maybe went to dance class, then watched tv while doing homework, helped make dinner, ate, finished homework while listening to the radio, then watched tv from 8-10.

Sounds like me- did well in school and in life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what do they do instead (on the nights when they don't have an extra-curricular activity)? If you limit screen time how does this work IRL - i.e. No computer games? No TV? I'm finding the winter to be, as usual, very challenging, and have been letting DS pretty much unrestricted access as long as homework is done, but it does make me uncomfortable.

Why does it have to be unrestricted? Go with your gut, if this makes you feel uncomfortable, set some limits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, 4-4:30 unwind, 4:30-6:30 homework, 6:30-7-ish eat, 7-8 shower, practice instrument, practice Hebrew (preparing for bar mitzvah) then get in bed. Maybe reads 30-40 minutes somewhere in there...not a lot of extra time and that's if we get home by 4.

All of those things are great, but they don't really fit with what you posted which was that you can barely fit in an hour of homework, dinner and a bath. It sounds like you're fitting in a couple hours of homework, plus almost another hour of work that's important to you (Hebrew, instrument), and an hour of downtime, some of which is spent reading. Which answers the OP's question of what does your child do when they aren't watching TV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, 4-4:30 unwind, 4:30-6:30 homework, 6:30-7-ish eat, 7-8 shower, practice instrument, practice Hebrew (preparing for bar mitzvah) then get in bed. Maybe reads 30-40 minutes somewhere in there...not a lot of extra time and that's if we get home by 4.

All of those things are great, but they don't really fit with what you posted which was that you can barely fit in an hour of homework, dinner and a bath. It sounds like you're fitting in a couple hours of homework, plus almost another hour of work that's important to you (Hebrew, instrument), and an hour of downtime, some of which is spent reading. Which answers the OP's question of what does your child do when they aren't watching TV.

I said that we were barely fitting it in because the schedule above (and we are hardly that regimented) is *if* we get home at 4. School isn't even out til 3:15, so with sports, errands, Hebrew School I would say that the afternoon usually starts later than that and then it is a crunch to fit in homework, etc.

I guess you are right that this is an answer to what we do instead of watch TV, but I was responding to people who were saying that their kids go out and play, draw, etc. as if they have hours to fill with activities. I was just surprised because it feels like most days we are struggling to fit in responsibilities, some days of course we have extra time but mostly we don't. Granted my kids go to bed relatively early (in bed by 8:30).

As for the shower comment, I said that in an hour it's shower, instrument and Hebrew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, 4-4:30 unwind, 4:30-6:30 homework, 6:30-7-ish eat, 7-8 shower, practice instrument, practice Hebrew (preparing for bar mitzvah) then get in bed. Maybe reads 30-40 minutes somewhere in there...not a lot of extra time and that's if we get home by 4.

All of those things are great, but they don't really fit with what you posted which was that you can barely fit in an hour of homework, dinner and a bath. It sounds like you're fitting in a couple hours of homework, plus almost another hour of work that's important to you (Hebrew, instrument), and an hour of downtime, some of which is spent reading. Which answers the OP's question of what does your child do when they aren't watching TV.

I said that we were barely fitting it in because the schedule above (and we are hardly that regimented) is *if* we get home at 4. School isn't even out til 3:15, so with sports, errands, Hebrew School I would say that the afternoon usually starts later than that and then it is a crunch to fit in homework, etc.

I guess you are right that this is an answer to what we do instead of watch TV, but I was responding to people who were saying that their kids go out and play, draw, etc. as if they have hours to fill with activities. I was just surprised because it feels like most days we are struggling to fit in responsibilities, some days of course we have extra time but mostly we don't. Granted my kids go to bed relatively early (in bed by 8:30).

As for the shower comment, I said that in an hour it's shower, instrument and Hebrew.

The question was "what do your kids do on the days when they don't have after school activities". It sounds as though your answer is that even on the days when your kid doesn't have outside activities (sports, Hebrew school, music lessons), they have responsibilities for those activities that take up most of that time. I'm not sure why you'd be surprised that some people's kids aren't currently taking a musical instrument and studying for their B'nai Mitzvah, and therefore have more time to do other things. It also sounds as though you put your child to bed earlier than many parents, and that your child gets home later than kids in the suburban public schools, but even with those time restrictions she's spending an hour and a half to two hours on things that are either your or her choice. Other families choose to use that time differently.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks for all of your responses. It definitely doesn't take my DS 2 hours to do homework unless it's a big project. We're in that shortish season in between more onerous sports practices, so I know all of this down time is limited. I just always feel like maybe he could better use his time and it makes me feel guilty when there are hours of screen time. I am definitely going to start getting him to do more regular chores and dog walking.

[Anonymous]

I grew up with limited TV because we lived in a rural area with minimal reception (and 4 channels when there was) so I've got a lot of experience with finding my own fun. Our kids (high/middle/elementary school ages) have limited screen time during the week (homework only or special sporting event we watch as a family). It's a hassle for them to transition away from the screen so we just don't do it (or with very clear limitations). They've got plenty to keep them occupied. Chores take at least 1.5 hours (cleaning every day, walking the dog for at least 40 minutes, practice instruments, etc). Homework takes at about 30-60 minutes. If they have sports/extracurriculars, we factor that in by reducing the amount of time spent on chores. If they have free time, they can read, play games, knit, work on scouting requirements, play with electric circuits, etc. We have no outside help and my expectation is that my kids will learn to be full partners in the household. They're getting into the habit now.

On the weekend, they get a lot of screen time but have to have at least 4 hours each day without it.