ways to make my newly moved in father comfortable

[Anonymous]

I'm not a corporal punishment person but I would have hard a hard time not paddling my kid's ass for that. why does your child think it's okay to call his grandfather annoying? It sounds like your dad is just elderly and having some of the mishaps the elderly have. Frankly your kid sounds spoiled (though we don't have much info to that).

You can make your dad more comfy by having a come to Jesus with your husband and son. Our parents did for us and we do for them as they age (barring any abuse etc.) End of story.

[Anonymous]

First OP, it's wonderful that you are doing your best to welcome your father in your home - I would do the same!

Second, he really needs his own space - is his room too small to have everything he needs? Of course I understand that he would want to spend time in the rest of the house.

I would have cancelled the playdate, honestly, because by that time everyone was potentially contagious and it's not polite to invite guests to a sick house.
Also I would read your husband and son the riot act. The events you describe did not warrant being so rude to your father, although I understand that if these things happen regularly there will be friction.

Good luck and I hope you can all settle in!

[Anonymous]

Wow. I don't have a close relationship with my father, but I can't imagine him crying. Your son and husband sound sort of nasty. Your son has learned from his father that it is ok to treat your father like that. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there only one bathroom in the whole house? It sounds like your house is too small for another person. My mom stayed with us for a year under better circumstances and it was still extremely difficult. On everyone.

I second this. Why would your son need to get out of the shower for your dad to use the bathroom? I'm a pretty easygoing person and I would be pretty irked about this kind of thing too.

Sometimes when elders have to go they HAVE TO GO, like a child.

[Anonymous]

Oh, wow, your DH and son are rude. My 93 yr old in laws live with us. Yes, it can be annoying. They are slow, can't hear, do projects and fail (for example my fridge has two different door handles in it now and my window sills are different shades of paint), set off alarms, my house smells like old people and the list goes on. HOWEVER, they raised the most amazing son (DH), they live for their grandson (my son) and have the best of intentions. We sometimes roll our eyes in frustration, but we love them to pieces and would go to great measures to hide our frustration and make their comfort a priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a long term thing? If your father is just staying for a month or so, I should have just cancelled the party for your son, but if this is a long term change and your father is going to live with you forever, I disagree with pp that you should teach your son priorities and cancel his party. It is a pretty big change for everyone involved but your son should be able to still have his friends over even when grandpa is sick.
But all is in the tone you say things op - you could have asked nicely to your dad to leave the couch "hey Dad, little Billy's friends are coming over to play some video games and I would like to straight out the place a little bit before they arrive. Do you mind going to the living room to watch some tv there?" Or something along those lines. You could still clean the place with Lysol, but don't need to state it.

I am in a similar situation but in a way, I think it is easier for my (young) child and for me as well since my in-law is not cognitive. But your husband went overboard with the monitor thing… you should see my house. Everyday I wake up to a little bit more of destruction. Can.not.wait.to.move.

WTF? When someone is sick, plans change. If I were sick DH wouldn't have his poker buddies over and force me to hole up in some room somewhere. His buddies could have done something else, played video games in another room, etc.

And yeah, suggesting that you have to do a deep clean makes your dad feel like a burden . Does everyone lysol their house after someone gets sick?

Uh when my DH had the flu, I put him in the guest room, and I Lysoled the bitch down every 1 days while I put DH in the tub!!
PP have you ever heard of the flu??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I don't have a close relationship with my father, but I can't imagine him crying. Your son and husband sound sort of nasty. Your son has learned from his father that it is ok to treat your father like that. Ugh.

I have a problem with the kids behavior ... Wayyyyyyyyy out of line.
However, my fad was a big crier, as in everything made him cry.

[Anonymous]

If someone in your house is actively sick it's not a good idea to havepeople over.

[Anonymous]

Your DH sounds like a jerk for yelling at/berating your dad for bumping into a carbon monoxide detector My dad is almost 90 and I can't imagine yelling at him for bumping into something. For the other stuff, can you possibly rearrange it so he has his own bathroom or get a TV in his room, recliner, whatever would help him have his own space.