I live in a great public school district but my wife wants to explore St Albans for my son...

[Anonymous]

OP, assume that wife will then insist on private college, most likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coming from public to a top private as a kid, I had no idea how much better it would be. Faculty with PhDs, class trips abroad, class sizes of 12 kids, our senior prom featured a band with a major hit at the time, etc. All this meant we felt like we were part of something big and could achieve great things. And most of us have. For me it was a total life changer.

This makes it sound like the private difference is all about $$$ and buying PhD teachers, trips abroad, and big-name bands at the prom. Mercedes, too (because a less showy car, like a VW with all the extras, just wouldn't do).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Coming from public to a top private as a kid, I had no idea how much better it would be. Faculty with PhDs, class trips abroad, class sizes of 12 kids, our senior prom featured a band with a major hit at the time, etc. All this meant we felt like we were part of something big and could achieve great things. And most of us have. For me it was a total life changer.

This makes it sound like the private difference is all about $$$ and buying PhD teachers, trips abroad, and big-name bands at the prom. Mercedes, too (because a less showy car, like a VW with all the extras, just wouldn't do).

I think the concept that you are destined for greatness often comes from having a lot of bright peers, which is the case at many local privates or publics. I'm less convinced it comes from hiring a Bon Jovi for your prom or renting out the Hay-Adams for a bar mitzvah. Kids usually can tell when their parents are just flashing bills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Coming from public to a top private as a kid, I had no idea how much better it would be. Faculty with PhDs, class trips abroad, class sizes of 12 kids, our senior prom featured a band with a major hit at the time, etc. All this meant we felt like we were part of something big and could achieve great things. And most of us have. For me it was a total life changer.

This makes it sound like the private difference is all about $$$ and buying PhD teachers, trips abroad, and big-name bands at the prom. Mercedes, too (because a less showy car, like a VW with all the extras, just wouldn't do).

I think the concept that you are destined for greatness often comes from having a lot of bright peers, which is the case at many local privates or publics. I'm less convinced it comes from hiring a Bon Jovi for your prom or renting out the Hay-Adams for a bar mitzvah. Kids usually can tell when their parents are just flashing bills.

I would not want to send my child to a school where they would finish at age 18 with the belief that they are destined for greatness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Coming from public to a top private as a kid, I had no idea how much better it would be. Faculty with PhDs, class trips abroad, class sizes of 12 kids, our senior prom featured a band with a major hit at the time, etc. All this meant we felt like we were part of something big and could achieve great things. And most of us have. For me it was a total life changer.

This makes it sound like the private difference is all about $$$ and buying PhD teachers, trips abroad, and big-name bands at the prom. Mercedes, too (because a less showy car, like a VW with all the extras, just wouldn't do).

I think the concept that you are destined for greatness often comes from having a lot of bright peers, which is the case at many local privates or publics. I'm less convinced it comes from hiring a Bon Jovi for your prom or renting out the Hay-Adams for a bar mitzvah. Kids usually can tell when their parents are just flashing bills.

I would not want to send my child to a school where they would finish at age 18 with the belief that they are destined for greatness.

Huh? Why wouldn't you want your child to be confident that they are capable of achieving greatness? I once heard a quote to the effect that "whether you believe you can or you believe you can't you're probably right" and it stuck with me. I think kids who have developed determination and self confidence have a great advantage in life. I just don't know if spending $$$ on a private school education is the only or even the best way to develop this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Coming from public to a top private as a kid, I had no idea how much better it would be. Faculty with PhDs, class trips abroad, class sizes of 12 kids, our senior prom featured a band with a major hit at the time, etc. All this meant we felt like we were part of something big and could achieve great things. And most of us have. For me it was a total life changer.

This makes it sound like the private difference is all about $$$ and buying PhD teachers, trips abroad, and big-name bands at the prom. Mercedes, too (because a less showy car, like a VW with all the extras, just wouldn't do).

I think the concept that you are destined for greatness often comes from having a lot of bright peers, which is the case at many local privates or publics. I'm less convinced it comes from hiring a Bon Jovi for your prom or renting out the Hay-Adams for a bar mitzvah. Kids usually can tell when their parents are just flashing bills.

I would not want to send my child to a school where they would finish at age 18 with the belief that they are destined for greatness.

Huh? Why wouldn't you want your child to be confident that they are capable of achieving greatness? I once heard a quote to the effect that "whether you believe you can or you believe you can't you're probably right" and it stuck with me. I think kids who have developed determination and self confidence have a great advantage in life. I just don't know if spending $$$ on a private school education is the only or even the best way to develop this.

I know some kids at top DC private schools who interpreted the competition as meaning they weren't so great themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Georgetown Prep is really far from McLean. That commute is killer.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think when people can afford it w/ no stress, they should pick private. If they can't afford it, they shouldn't sweat it or fret over it.

Of course, public school can provide a fine education. But, it is much harder for kids to stand out when there are 500 kids in their freshman grade or whatever. If you are well off why not spend the money now instead of willing it to him when you pass.

Rich people are so hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I would not want to send my child to a school where they would finish at age 18 with the belief that they are destined for greatness.

Huh? Why wouldn't you want your child to be confident that they are capable of achieving greatness? I once heard a quote to the effect that "whether you believe you can or you believe you can't you're probably right" and it stuck with me. I think kids who have developed determination and self confidence have a great advantage in life. I just don't know if spending $$$ on a private school education is the only or even the best way to develop this.

There is a difference between being determined and self-confident, and believing that you are destined for greatness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I would not want to send my child to a school where they would finish at age 18 with the belief that they are destined for greatness.

Huh? Why wouldn't you want your child to be confident that they are capable of achieving greatness? I once heard a quote to the effect that "whether you believe you can or you believe you can't you're probably right" and it stuck with me. I think kids who have developed determination and self confidence have a great advantage in life. I just don't know if spending $$$ on a private school education is the only or even the best way to develop this.

I personally don't think it is. I went to a local private, and my DH went to one, too--one of the schools under discussion on this thread. We both felt that the schools we went to were too lily-white and privileged.

Today, our DC goes to an excellent FCPS public HS, and we are happy with our choice.

[Anonymous]

OP -- The first issue your family needs to address is whether you want an all boys or coed environment for your kids. Both privates you mentioned are all boys, but there are plenty of coed privates too. Beyond that, I too am the product of public schools but my kids attend a different private in the suburbs. While there are some benefits to public (besides the money), on balalnce I have to agree that the advantages of our private far outweighed any disadvantages, especially the quality of the education. We have fewer big ticket luxury items in our lives, but we don't have to forego any vacations or small pleasures in our lives. If that were the case, then that would change the equation for me and we'd go public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I would not want to send my child to a school where they would finish at age 18 with the belief that they are destined for greatness.

Huh? Why wouldn't you want your child to be confident that they are capable of achieving greatness? I once heard a quote to the effect that "whether you believe you can or you believe you can't you're probably right" and it stuck with me. I think kids who have developed determination and self confidence have a great advantage in life. I just don't know if spending $$$ on a private school education is the only or even the best way to develop this.

I personally don't think it is. I went to a local private, and my DH went to one, too--one of the schools under discussion on this thread. We both felt that the schools we went to were too lily-white and privileged.

Today, our DC goes to an excellent FCPS public HS, and we are happy with our choice.

Meh. I'm guessing that "excellent" FCPS public HS you speak of is also very privileged and lily-white.

I always roll my eyes when people claim they're avoiding the privates because they want "diversity!" but then proceed to send their kids to Langley or Whitman.

[Anonymous]

I suspect that PP is not talking Langley or even mclean. Several FCPS high schools are more diverse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I would not want to send my child to a school where they would finish at age 18 with the belief that they are destined for greatness.

Huh? Why wouldn't you want your child to be confident that they are capable of achieving greatness? I once heard a quote to the effect that "whether you believe you can or you believe you can't you're probably right" and it stuck with me. I think kids who have developed determination and self confidence have a great advantage in life. I just don't know if spending $$$ on a private school education is the only or even the best way to develop this.

There is a difference between being determined and self-confident, and believing that you are destined for greatness.

+1. If you want your kid to attain "greatness," make sure he has a good work ethic, self confidence and resilience. He can get these equally well at public and private schools, because so much of this is your own responsibility.

The child-rearing books I've read were all pretty negative on just telling your kid, in words or implicitly, "you're so great!" That's a great way to breed a sense of entitlement, fear of failure, and fear of risk-taking. What you want to do is teach your kid resilience for when he does fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's like deciding between a Chevy and a Mercedes. Both are cars and both ultimately will get you where you want to go. It's a question of whether you think all the extras are worth the cost. Personally I do.

OP, the question is, do you want to send your child to a school where people think that the public high school in McLean is a Chevrolet and St. Albans is a Mercedes worth an extra $40,000 per year?

+1. PP who graduated from a FCPS HS and has since gone on to multiple Ivies and a career surrounded by mostly wealthy people. I would never trade the chance to have been around a more diverse group of people at the public HS in my teens.

I'm sure OP's kid will do fine either way. If he ends up at St. A's, he'll still find out later that there are situations where public school kids kick his butt, just lik

e Ivy grads find out where graduates of lesser known (and, gasp, public) institutions are concerned.

This hasn't been the reality I experienced. Went to a top public outside this area (which also wasn't very diverse), then a top private college, ivy league law school, and top 10 Biglaw. The number of people I saw from top public institutions got smaller and smaller along the way. Not to say that there aren't brilliant people at lesser known public colleges, but we still live in a society where alumni of private elite institutions (and the so-called public ivies) dominate the upper middle class. Maybe it isn't the way it should be, but it is still largely the way it is.