Provide home address info to classroom parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem with it and would consider people who do very strange, bordering on freakish.

Some people who have been in domestic violence situations, where there is a restraining order against the SO or a real fear s/he (well, usually he) will come back and do harm, really try to keep their address info private. And they are not strange, just cautious from experience.

A suggestion is to print a public email (like a yahoo email) and then have them add for the address "Available upon request by email"

[Anonymous]

Unless you have a stalker, I don't think anyone will give it any thought. I suppose someone might type in the addresses on google maps and see who the closest kids are to their kid for playdates, but what is the harm in that? They could zoom in close and look at your house and see you through the windows? I'm a private person and did have a borderline stalker, but even I don't think it would be a cause for alarm, unless it's published on the internet for all to see if anyone googled your name and came up with all your info. If it's just in a paper directory that only other parents would see, it's probably not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you have a stalker, I don't think anyone will give it any thought. I suppose someone might type in the addresses on google maps and see who the closest kids are to their kid for playdates, but what is the harm in that? They could zoom in close and look at your house and see you through the windows? I'm a private person and did have a borderline stalker, but even I don't think it would be a cause for alarm, unless it's published on the internet for all to see if anyone googled your name and came up with all your info. If it's just in a paper directory that only other parents would see, it's probably not a big deal.

People, if you own your house, your home address is already very, very publicly available. Numerous services scoop up all available information about people - including from real estate records - and consolidate them at easily accessible places on the internet, like whitepages.com and similar services. Putting it in some silly school directory doesn't make it more so.

[Anonymous]

We haven't been asked for addresses but I've googled some of the parents names to see where they live (we are at a DC charter so kids come from all over).

You can also look up real estate deeds by last name very easily. Obviously, I haven't done that for my kids classmates parents (stalker!) but I've looked them up for other reasons and it's very easy to find out who owns what and how much their mortgage was when they bought it and size of downpayment, plus if anyone else is a co-owner. It literally takes a couple of minutes.

[Anonymous]

Based on my experience with other parents, I'm not providing home address info. I had the best intentions when I hosted a couple of play dates, but I do not understand why the guest parent and children thought it was an open house (they asked many questions about the house and pictures hanging from the walls). One of parents seemed teaching her son to ask friends for expensive birthday. I just wanted to kids to have a good time playing outside. Can't believe that attitude!

[Anonymous]

There are some high profile families at our school and I can see not including our home address/phone number in that case. But we're just a "regular" family so I have no problem sharing. What are they going to do - mail you an invitation, holiday card. No harm in that.

I do always think that people who don't share are embarrassed about their home for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Based on my experience with other parents, I'm not providing home address info. I had the best intentions when I hosted a couple of play dates, but I do not understand why the guest parent and children thought it was an open house (they asked many questions about the house and pictures hanging from the walls). One of parents seemed teaching her son to ask friends for expensive birthday. I just wanted to kids to have a good time playing outside. Can't believe that attitude!

It's probably better that you don't do playdates in that case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't add ours, because I like to at least pretend I have a single bit of privacy left in this world. I understand when I was a kid (70s-80s) and people actually dropped by to say hello (want to play, etc) and actually sent invitations by mail. But these days? Text or email reigns.

I still send invitations!

[Anonymous]

DC attends an out-of-boundary school in a very high HHI area. I am embarrassed about our apartment, where we won't be living as soon as I get a job. No one would come here for a play date anyway b/c it's so far. So I opted out, partly out of embarrassment, partly because we will likely be moving soon anyway - but I did list our town, so at least people would know we live there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. None of their business. Not for the reasons you mention OP. Just because it is none of their business.

I would share phone and email though. If they want address they can call for it, and I can share it like I do under any other circumstances.

But I am a private person and have never been a fan with releasing my personally identifiable information on lists, databases, etc. Government organizations have a responsibility to protect it, classroom moms and all the other parents don't.

OP here. That is what I mean.

Then, OP --

If this is who you are, opt out of that field in the directory. Done. No problem. Whatever.

Just note that your beliefs and preferences are not the norm. Doesn't mean you should change them, but be aware that your preferences are different. If your child's life gets smaller because of your preferences, then rethink. Otherwise, just let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. None of their business. Not for the reasons you mention OP. Just because it is none of their business.

I would share phone and email though. If they want address they can call for it, and I can share it like I do under any other circumstances.

But I am a private person and have never been a fan with releasing my personally identifiable information on lists, databases, etc. Government organizations have a responsibility to protect it, classroom moms and all the other parents don't.

OP here. That is what I mean.

Then, OP --

If this is who you are, opt out of that field in the directory. Done. No problem. Whatever.

Just note that your beliefs and preferences are not the norm. Doesn't mean you should change them, but be aware that your preferences are different. If your child's life gets smaller because of your preferences, then rethink. Otherwise, just let it go.

NP. OP, it sounds like you know what you are comfortable doing, so you should feel free to opt out of providing the info. I doubt it will affect your kid's social life with anyone who is more than just a classmate/acquaintance. I and most parents I know would be fine with spending the extra two minutes to email/text you for your address if our kids were actually becoming friends. If we needed it in a situation where it would be awkward to ask for it that could be a problem, but I would be willing to do the detective work on my kid's behalf to find the info online if necessary. I think as long as you are comfortable providing phone or email, some sort of contact info, your kid's social life shouldn't suffer much. If you don't include any way to contact you at all, and your kid is in the early grades, that could mean fewer if any social arrangements outside of school if parents have no way to initiate them.

One thing I would consider though -- once you give the info to one parent in the class who is on the directory the chances are very high that it will spread to the other parents in a well-meaning exchange along the lines of "Does anybody know Suzy's address so I can send the ____?". Plus, honestly, I'm pretty sure your address is already out there to be found, so I'm not sure I would rely on keeping it out of the school directory as a means of protecting the info from others finding it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: DC attends an out-of-boundary school in a very high HHI area. I am embarrassed about our apartment, where we won't be living as soon as I get a job. No one would come here for a play date anyway b/c it's so far. So I opted out, partly out of embarrassment, partly because we will likely be moving soon anyway - but I did list our town, so at least people would know we live there.

We have a small crappy house but I would much prefer your situation to a big fancy house or with parents worried about what our mortgage is.

[Anonymous]

In our school you can opt out of the directory but very few people do. I can understand it if you have some crazy custody issue or if you have reason to hide from a stalker or something, but otherwise I think it's very unusual to require that degree of privacy. Go ahead and Google yourself and I'm sure you will find your home address and the price you paid for your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: DC attends an out-of-boundary school in a very high HHI area. I am embarrassed about our apartment, where we won't be living as soon as I get a job. No one would come here for a play date anyway b/c it's so far. So I opted out, partly out of embarrassment, partly because we will likely be moving soon anyway - but I did list our town, so at least people would know we live there.

We have a small crappy house but I would much prefer your situation to a big fancy house or with parents worried about what our mortgage is.

I would have brought my kid if you'd invited us, and I wouldn't have thought twice about your apartment.

[Anonymous]

We love our community school plus we have nothing to hide.

Paranoid much?