PSA for the kindergarten red shirters

[Anonymous]

Redshirt mom here. September birthday boy. Socially immature. Small for his age (5% - he was screened for all sorts if things, FTT) . Watched him get teased for a year of preschool by a boy 11 months older and 1 foot taller. I wasn't going to have him subjected to that for 13 more years. I didn't care about parking spots.
Oh, the rec leagues have a July deadline here, so he couldn't be on the same team as his classmates anyway without red shirting. To move up an age bracket it has to be approved and they have to tryout. I happened to already know that from all the info packets sent home for my older child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did not red shirt my kids, and had never thought about the out-of-school activities angle until my kids started doing a lot of them in K and 1st grade. Basically, a lot of after school stuff is by age, not grade. So, for example, if your child had a July birthday and you held him back to start K at 6 instead of at 5 when he was eligible, he might have to play on a soccer team with the kids who are in the class above him at school instead of with most of his friends from his grade. Just letting you know because I never heard anyone talk about this when I was hearing about people were considering holding their kids back. It might make things a little awkward/annoying for the kid for sports (which are all usually out of school when you are little) and other activities. Just something to consider.

This happened to us, OP! My son was worried at first because, you know, the class above always seems more mature. The "big kids" thing. Anyways, it turned out that he decided to be brave and gave it a try, and his basketball skills really did improve due to playing with the "older" ones. He LOvES basketball now and is learning so much more, in terms of skills picked up and the whole social thing. The kids in his actual class are amazed!! They all want to be just like my son.

[Anonymous]

Why do others care if other kids are red shirted? DS is march baby so pretty much in the middle age wise. It never occurred to me to care about the ages of the other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do others care if other kids are red shirted? DS is march baby so pretty much in the middle age wise. It never occurred to me to care about the ages of the other kids.

My March "baby" was the second youngest boy in his kindergarten class. Same for my April "baby". March April May are generally the youngest boys in the classes here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do others care if other kids are red shirted? DS is march baby so pretty much in the middle age wise. It never occurred to me to care about the ages of the other kids.

Um, I don't care, but your CHILD might care if he is not in activities with his friends from school because they all play with kids their age. That was the point. Personally, I would rather have my kids with older ones than younger because I think they would be socially bored out of their minds with children a year younger, but I don't actually care what you do with your child. The point of the post is that your child might be negatively affected later in a way that you did not contemplate when you thought you were helping him out by holding him back.

[Anonymous]

I posted earlier, I have a child with a growth disorder. He plays rec soccer, basketball, and does cub scouts. Soccer is the only sport where the cutoff puts him in a team with kids a grade older and he's been perfectly fine with it. They all know each other from school and it's okay that he's smaller and in a grade below, he plays for fun and is quite athletic despite his size.

[Anonymous]

^^ We followed his developmental pediatrician's recommendation to redshirt by the way and it has been the best thing for him.^^

[Anonymous]

OP here. I don't need anyone to get defensive about red shirting and have to explain it as a SN or pediatrician-recommended parenting move. Most people I know who did it genuinely just did not think their kid was ready. I was just pointing out something that NONE of the parents who were redshirting ever brought up in preschool. I think they had no idea. And, it might have made them think differently. I don't know. Just something that you don't really think about until you get there....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier, I have a child with a growth disorder. He plays rec soccer, basketball, and does cub scouts. Soccer is the only sport where the cutoff puts him in a team with kids a grade older and he's been perfectly fine with it. They all know each other from school and it's okay that he's smaller and in a grade below, he plays for fun and is quite athletic despite his size.

That's great! I am glad it worked out! Does not have to be a bad thing. Just thought people might want to work through it as a factor in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't need anyone to get defensive about red shirting and have to explain it as a SN or pediatrician-recommended parenting move. Most people I know who did it genuinely just did not think their kid was ready. I was just pointing out something that NONE of the parents who were redshirting ever brought up in preschool. I think they had no idea. And, it might have made them think differently. I don't know. Just something that you don't really think about until you get there....

Oh, you just thought you were cleverer than everybody else!
It didn't cross your mind that nobody mentioned it because most of us do not care about those details, since redshirting is usually not done lightly.
BTW, did it ever occur to you that cautious parents might not tell you the real reasons why their child has been retained a year?

Anyway, better drop the subject, OP. You're not doing yourself any favors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

How nice to be able to worry about those little details.

Some of us redshirt because of certain special needs and when there are no other viable options.

EXACTLY. Thank you for saying this. I actually hate the term "redshirt" as it usually implies a child was held back because the parents wanted him/her to have some kind of advantage. We held our July b-day son back from kindergarten for a year because he had severe articulation problems. By the time he started K, he was six and speaking much more normally. He's now a (gasp) 15 yr. old freshman and we've never regretted our decision. Really hate all the vitriol directed toward parents who are making the best decision they can for their own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't need anyone to get defensive about red shirting and have to explain it as a SN or pediatrician-recommended parenting move. Most people I know who did it genuinely just did not think their kid was ready. I was just pointing out something that NONE of the parents who were redshirting ever brought up in preschool. I think they had no idea. And, it might have made them think differently. I don't know. Just something that you don't really think about until you get there....

Oh, you just thought you were cleverer than everybody else!
It didn't cross your mind that nobody mentioned it because most of us do not care about those details, since redshirting is usually not done lightly.BTW, did it ever occur to you that cautious parents might not tell you the real reasons why their child has been retained a year?

Anyway, better drop the subject, OP. You're not doing yourself any favors.

+100 Love the OP's faux "concern" for those of us who made the very difficult decision to hold our children back a year. For reasons having nothing to do with what league they might play in or how soon they could get a high school parking permit. Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But the upside is a 15 year old freshman that can dominate JV!!

Another "upside" is that then get their driver's licenses earlier and get in the cue for a parking space at the HS earlier- thus more likely to actually get a parking space.

A downside is that they turn 18 before/when Senior Year starts and they can sign everything and you are out of the loop unless you take extra steps. They can call themselves in sick, sign forms, not have you get their grades.......

And, an 18 year old senior can get married, join the military, drop out of school, become legally emancipated, be tried in the courts as an adult..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But the upside is a 15 year old freshman that can dominate JV!!

Another "upside" is that then get their driver's licenses earlier and get in the cue for a parking space at the HS earlier- thus more likely to actually get a parking space.

A downside is that they turn 18 before/when Senior Year starts and they can sign everything and you are out of the loop unless you take extra steps. They can call themselves in sick, sign forms, not have you get their grades.......

And, an 18 year old senior can get married, join the military, drop out of school, become legally emancipated, be tried in the courts as an adult..

I'll use this reasoning to get the school system to admit my daughter the year she turns five despite her late Sept birthday. The horror of having an 18 year old as a senior! We must've spared. I'm sure they will agree.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to have an 18-year-old senior, then you either have to plan carefully so that your child is born in June, July, or August, or, if you didn't plan carefully, you have to start your child a year early.