+1 |
This is mostly about you, not about my situation. I understand the explanation, but I wonder what would happen if you gave up control and stopped ordering your husband around? And I'm sure it doesn't feel good to be the one being told what to do all the time. I didn't say she was a bossy bitch, she's just sniping at her husband all the time when I'm around. I don't know why or what he did, she's very nice to me. |
Why is it? I don't get it? |
IMHO, since you say she is your friend, and they are not yet divorced, do not do this to her. They are going through a horrible time and you would be twisting the knife and dancing on her grave. |
Not the PP you're responding to but I agree with her. You don't know what 'your situation' is. It's easy to be glib, telling someone to give up control but you clearly have no experience with someone that can't be relied upon. My DH is a nice guy, good conversationalist and a great companion. I know people think he's a great guy - and he is. We love each other very much. Unfortunately, love isn't enough. My DH suffers from ADHD/depression and it's incredibly hard being married to someone like him. This wasn't apparent until after we had kids and as our life stresses increased his ADHD/depression got worse. I'm sure some who have seen our interactions consider me bossy and controlling (maybe even bitchy) but they have no idea how difficult it is to keep things together when you've got a partner like him. In many ways, I have to 'manage' him the same way I do the kids. He doesn't resent it because he knows how he is but it's not really how I want my relationship with my DH to be. I have taken a hands off approach in the past but it doesn't work when kids are involved or your financial stability. Ever received a call from a kid who didn't get picked up? Ever have to make a wire transfer (or send a money order) to the mortgage company because too many electronic mortgage payments bounced? I've also tried doing it all myself. Doesn't work either. It's tough being married to a man like my DH yet I feel no need to discuss it with even close friends. I don't think you're a bad person for thinking about this guy but don't be so dissmissive of poeple who suggest appearances may be deceptive. You need to better understand why she's so nice to you but so snippy about her husband. |