What's hot in a guy now that you're 40?

[Anonymous]

Men who serve the Lord.

[Anonymous]

Same thing that was always hot to me - sense of humor, brains, down-to-earth personality, and takes care of himself physically. (that doesn't mean he's at the gym 3 hours a day, but that he does exercise, isn't constantly at McD's and doesn't weigh 300 lbs.) Taller than me is good.

I never really went through a bad boy phase. I did occasionally date nice guys who were kind of dumb, because they were sweet (and cute), but that never lasted long and I don't do it anymore so as not to hurt feelings.

[Anonymous]

Passion

Intellectual curiosity

Kindness

[Anonymous]

Rich.

[Anonymous]

I hear ya OP! Loud and clear.

Back when I was younger, it was all about animal attraction to each other.

Now certain qualities such as a caring and loving father, partner as well as a hard-working and ambitious person in general are way more sexy to me.

Oh and if he can cook, that's only icing on the cake.

[Anonymous]

Are you talking about sexual attraction or what to look for in a life partner? Those are two very different things.

Now that I have a kind, dependable, mild-mannered DH who worships me and the kids and no longer have to date the bad boys (and deal with all the crap they dish out) they are more attractive to me, not less. I would never leave DH for a bad boy, but if I'm ever seriously tempted to have an affair, I know it won't be with someone just like him.

[Anonymous]

Financially sound - does not have to be wealthy but secure and no major credit card debt, current on child support (if any), retirement savings, no student loans.

[Anonymous]

Oh I still find all the same stuff hot - gorgeous body, long hair, motorcycles, physical strength, humor, playfulness, kindness, artistry, etc...

But, now I also find emotional maturity incredibly attractive, financial stability, trustworthiness, honesty, ability to care for kids and parents, etc... all are valued by me in ways I never would have cared about 20 years ago.

But I still think fondly of my incredibly hot, utterly unintellectual summer romance during college!

[Anonymous]

Great hands have always done it for me. Smart, funny & nice too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Grown up" traits.

Cleans up after himself (no towels on the floor, socks on the couch, empty soda can on the table), has good planning abilities and foresight, realistic about the future (doesn't think nothing bad can ever happen like the 'superman' teenage types), ability to anticipate needs, can figure out how to feed the kids a real meal, not just take them for burgers anytime I'm not around.

Basically a someone whom I don't have to care for as an extra child.

+1

My DH looks like hes trouble but isnt. Hes a grown man, not a child. Still love him.

[Anonymous]

Hair.

[Anonymous]

A felony record apparently.

[Anonymous]

I used to be attracted by very career oriented, workaholic, yet charismatic womanizing flirtacious types.

Fortunately my husband fits the loving, caring, fantastic dad, great person, equal partners, involved in his community, takes care of his family (us and his parents) type that I find attractive now. Plus he's hot.

[Anonymous]

Kindness. Consideration. Perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find myself attracted to different qualities now that I'm 40.

Now: Guys that are good dads. There's the checker at the grocery store who lights up when he talks about his two young daughters. There's the friend's devoted husband who is very hands on with his three kids. There's the SAHD who does pick up and drop off and always kisses his SN son good-bye and tells him he loves him each morning.

Then: Bad boys. You know the type... tattoos, goatees, the rough-around-the-edges, hard to figure out type. Unfortunately, I married one...

Wish 40-year-old me could've told 25-year-old-me what's really important in a partner.

My DH is kind of a bad boy, but respectful and a great dad. He's a great husband and partner too. He also has his finances in order, thanks to me.