SSSAS culture? For parents?
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Anonymous
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Interesting 23:08.
Not a SSSAS parent, but parent at another Alexandria school. Was your husband there before the merger with St. Agnes? I heard St. A was quite progressive when it was a girls' school, and that with the merger, there were some changes. Hopefully there is less of what you are describing now, though some that will pop up anywhere. (No one would call me an SSSAS defender.) |
Anonymous
Based on the info given, I'm about 95% sure I know 23:08 because our husbands have discussed their mutually unpleasant experiences at SSSAS. Both graduated post-merger. My husband did feel well prepared academically, but didn't enjoy the social climate. Here's my assessment of the issue: there are plenty of nice parents there. However, there is a weird clique thing going on around the Belle Haven neighborhood and the country club. Parents who grew up together tend to exclude 'newcomers' unintentionally or not. You'll get that at any DC school too I'm sure, but because those draw from a larger geographic area, the effect will be less noticeable. The unfortunate thing is 23:08 probably can't identify me from my post. I'm guessing her husband has talked to many others who weren't happy with the social climate at SSSAS and so, without and other identifying info, she can probably only narrow it down to one of 10-20 people. I have two other female friends who left SSSAS before graduation because they were so unhappy. |
Anonymous
| Current SSSAS parent. Haven't experienced any belle haven mommy mafia! we turned down that area to live in Rosemont. We are pretty well off financially and I SAH but we don't discuss it (except anonymously, thanks Jeff) or flash it, just isn't us. Neither is a country club setting. I'd say half of the kids belong to belle haven, the other to ANCC, both which in my opinion have had serious money management issues, I wouldn't be putting down a considerable deposit to join anytime soon. I have noticed a bunch of tennis skirt wearing moms at drop off and pick up, but it doesn't bother me. No one has made me feel ostracized or my child for it. BTW I don't place my child in a school based on how it will affect my social life. Just something to consider |
Anonymous
| We will be a new SSSA family(US) this Fall, and I am well aware of the Belle Haven culture, but I am encouraged by the new Headmaster, who is apparently a big STEM advocate and I believe the school is trying to change. For those who go there wanting to join the "in" crowd, you will be out of luck. For those who go just wanting a great education for your kid, and you meet who you meet - you'll be fine. |
Anonymous
It's not a question of social life. It's a question of basic courtesy, which the Belle Haven moms fail to teach to their children, who like to ask questions like "how big is your house?" of other children. It's quite pronounced, and it's quite ugly. They are raising their children to think that they are better than others. We left SSSAS. Had nothing to do with us, but with the messages our kids were getting. The administration also fails to act in the face of some blatant bullying. |
Anonymous
Might want to look in a mirror some time. Also, children asking questions like that happens no matter where you are in school, including publics. I think your head is pretty far in the sand. |
Anonymous
Your bolded post and attempted insult make no sense, but I get that you feel threatened. It's okay, Belle Haven mom. I had actually disguised the "how big is your house" question somewhat to protect the guilty. It's funny that you think kids in public schools ask "how many square feet is your house," which was the exact question posed by one particularly rude middl schooler. And that's just one small example of the snobbery passed down to some of those kids. You think children don't learn those things from listening to their parents? I don't need to "look in a mirror" to know that I don't want my children to judge others by their personal possessions. I don't need to "look in a mirror" to know that I consistently discourage such discourteous behavior in my children. |
Anonymous
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9:35 poster here and current SSSAS parent. I don't get that vibe from Belle haven moms at all, sounds like you had a bad particular experience Nader for that I am very sorry and hope you and your family are happy in your new school. IMO I kind of look down on Belle Haven, it's kind of far away and right off of Route 1, I remember our real estate agent telling us how great Belle Haven was and when we went to look at some houses I could hear all the Route 1 traffic and see some of it. It doesn't seem prestigious to me, you have to drive everywhere, no sidewalks, not close to school or the metro or restaurants. And don't get me started on the belle haven parents that send their kids to a cathedral school or Potomac. They must spend all day in their car. Would stress me out. But all those women seem lovely to me. The issues I have run into with kids asking "where do you live? Where are you going on Spring break? What does your daddy do for a job?" Etc are coming from the kids who live in Beverly Hill. I find the questions funny and fascinating, especially driving them home from play dates, etc. One kid said in my car "you know. We go to the jersey shore, but not that jersey shore with all the tacky people, the clean part. That's where my mom is from. She's getting her tatoo removed from her ankle before the summer so we can go back. She said we have an expensive car. Your car is ok....."
Like I care what a 7 year old says, and it went way over my DD's head. It was funny to me. Trust me that is not unique to SSSAS. Every school has humble brag collar popping kids don't let them stress you. |
Anonymous
+1 and, to the poster who said it was not "about us," ummmm...it most assuredly was and still is. How you interpret what others do/say is entirely about you. |
Anonymous
| ^^me again. I should add that I do not have kids at SSSAS. Just find some of these assertions nothing short of hilarious and ridiculous. |
Anonymous
Doesn't matter who the new Headmaster is. SSSAS has some great kids, but the culture there (e.g. Belle Haven moms, emphasis on girls lacrosse and other sports, etc.) will never change. |
Anonymous
Here we go again, every single SSSAS thread brings out the same basher re girls lacrosse and sports. OMG, you need to move on, your MO is getting old and sad a la chipotle lady |
Anonymous
^^ Ha! Sadly, there are many of us who have had poor experiences with the school and left. Our family left the school too, and we don't miss the Belle Haven silliness, because that is what it is. We didn't leave the school because of it, but we don't miss it. Another poster had a great point about other DC privates having less noticeable cliques because they pull from a wider metro area is true, and frankly, it's healthier for everyone. |
Anonymous
| Almost nobody at SSSAS cares about where you live, how big your house is, or how much money you make. If you are feeling that way, it is you projecting your insecurities. The few parents (and their kids) who are pretentious like that are not the norm and are actually the ones who are looked down upon a bit. Kids asking questions about your houses size are no different than kids at publics asking the same questions. "Kids say the darndest things." |
Anonymous
The kids don't care, but those parents sure do. It's part of going to a school that draws predominantly from one small geographic area. |