Breastfeeding is kicking my ass...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyway - anything would have been hell at that point. It's normal that it feels like hell. You'll get through it. It's okay. Any choice you make will be okay. You'll all live. You'll feel normal some day. I promise.

I can't ditto this enough. This is such a hard time--don't think this is your new normal. Whatever happens with feeding the baby, you will be ok. Take everything one minute at a time if you have to, and I promise that one day this will all be a blip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The first few weeks are rough. I'm at 6 months with my dd. the first 8-10 were hard and rough. Try to stuck with it during these early weeks if you are feeling guilty about supplementing but go easy in yourself. It is ok to supplement and it's ok to not bf if it is making you so upset. It is your decision. No one else's. After I hit past the first really rough 8 weeks....I loved to bf. now I'm dupplementing 2 bottle a day snd she only nurses at 7, 10, 1, 4, 7 and 10. It's not so bad. What you are going thru is temporary. It ducks but it IS temporary. I almost quit but I'm glad I didn't. I had a LC come to my house. I went to the LC at my ped and I went to VHC breastfeeding support group. All very helpful. Good luck op. You will make it http this. It's so hard in the beginning. Hang in there - tears and all.

Wow! My baby is a month old and nurses 16 times a day! I can't wait for nursing to only happen 6 times a day!!!

[Anonymous]

Give it a few more days OP. Have you tried hand expressing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyway - anything would have been hell at that point. It's normal that it feels like hell. You'll get through it. It's okay. Any choice you make will be okay. You'll all live. You'll feel normal some day. I promise.

I can't ditto this enough. This is such a hard time--don't think this is your new normal. Whatever happens with feeding the baby, you will be ok. Take everything one minute at a time if you have to, and I promise that one day this will all be a blip.

+2. 4 days out is such hell. BF is like the 7th layer of hell to add on to that. And I say that as someone who is about to get to 6 months BF. It will get better. Do whatever you need to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP. Here are my thoughts:

My milk never really came in. I had to start supplementing DS on day 3. I took fenugreek, I saw a lactation consultant, I pumped, and still always supplemented with formula (and by supplementing, i mean he probably got more formula than breastmilk). I cried when my baby wanted to feed every couple of hours, because it took so long.

I made it to 6 months (again - always supplementing with formula). When I pumped I would get MAYBE 4 ounces total during a session - i can't imagine being someone who got 6-8 oz per breast!.

One thing to think about is if you are going to bond with your baby better when breastfeeding, or giving him a bottle. I loved giving DS a bottle - he would look in my eyes, and it was less stressful for me.

Like another PP said - your job is to feed the baby. Breastmilk or formula - whatever works better for the 2 of you - your mental health is very important!!

I think it's useful to say that I don't think many women are getting 6-8 oz per breast. I had an oversupply with both my kids and on my "strong" boob, the most I would get is 6-7 oz on a morning when I was super engorged. And my "lazy" boob never produced more than 4 oz. Again, these were max outputs on a super engorged morning when baby had slept through and not typical.

I just don't want poor OP or others to read this and think they'll never ever get there.

Good luck OP. Do what works for you and baby!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The first few weeks are rough. I'm at 6 months with my dd. the first 8-10 were hard and rough. Try to stuck with it during these early weeks if you are feeling guilty about supplementing but go easy in yourself. It is ok to supplement and it's ok to not bf if it is making you so upset. It is your decision. No one else's. After I hit past the first really rough 8 weeks....I loved to bf. now I'm dupplementing 2 bottle a day snd she only nurses at 7, 10, 1, 4, 7 and 10. It's not so bad. What you are going thru is temporary. It ducks but it IS temporary. I almost quit but I'm glad I didn't. I had a LC come to my house. I went to the LC at my ped and I went to VHC breastfeeding support group. All very helpful. Good luck op. You will make it http this. It's so hard in the beginning. Hang in there - tears and all.

Wow! My baby is a month old and nurses 16 times a day! I can't wait for nursing to only happen 6 times a day!!!

PP here -- I remember being in you shoes thinking there is NO WAY my kid would ever nurse only a handful of times a day. People told me but I didn't believe them. Once we got him on a every 3 hours schedule...life changed and we got our freedom back. I was not a slave for nursing anymore. Actually, I nurse him at 7, pump at 12, nurse at 4, my dh gives bottle of formula (we just started this) at dinnertime then I nurse him (dreamfeed) at 10. he sleeps thru the night now and life is good. i could do this forever!

I'm telling you -- the 3 hours schedule is awesome but that didnt happen until 4.5 - 5 months. it is actually when he started gaining weight as well. he was in 4th percentile and I was affraid to follow this schedule and push the feedings but he now nurses more efficiently and better -- getting more of the hind/fatty milk and is thriving! I remember those 12-16 nursing times a day - its temporary!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine wouldn't latch either. I tried for 6 weeks, saw 4 different lactation consultants, used nipple shields, and still had to supplement with formula and pumped milk. I think I cried almost every day about it.

At 6 weeks I moved to pumping exclusively, and while it wasn't fun, it was much less stressful for me. Did it for 6 months and then switched to formula. I'm currently pregnant with #2--and if it's this much of a battle again I'm not going to feel bad about formula at all.

To this PP and OP,

I've totally been there ladies--twice now. The first time, I had an unplanned c-section after 24 hrs of labor. I was so filled w/ fluids that I looked like Shrek and only weighed 4 lbs less leaving the hospital. Due to poor supply and a very squirmy baby--positioning w/ my daughter after my c-section and my let down issues made nursing a nightmare. We did pay for consultations w/ several LCs--after $1000s of dollars, it never quite worked. It would work temporarily while she was there, but then it would stop working a few hours later after she had left.

I ended up renting a hospital grade pump and exclusively pumping for 10.5 months. At first hardly anything came out. I felt like such a failure and it didn't help that DH seemed to think that formula was poison. He stepped in to take over all of the night feedings and told me to just keep pumping. Eventually after 3 months, I built up enough supply to get rid of all supplementation. I also tried everything else to build it up (i.e., dom, reglan, fenugreek and other foods, etc.) but it didn't seem to increase my supply. I literally pumped drop by drop to build up from less than an ounce for 20 minutes of pumping to 4 to 5 ounces per pumping session.

I told DH w/ pregnancy #2 (child is now 3 1/2 weeks old), I would not put myself through it if nursing did not work. At the hospital it seemed like it was working. Only thing that was shocking was that DC would nurse from 8 pm to 7 am straight. For 3 to 4 days I literally got one hour of sleep. I became near psychotic. We decided to supplement and I started pumping again. This time around, my supply is better than last time. I am making enough for at least 1/2 of his daily feedings. It's hard though b/c he eats a lot and is a big guy.

I was thinking that once my supply got better I might try nursing again, but then I came down w/ thrush and now it appears I have a bacterial infection so I am on antibiotics (SIGH).

The point to all of this is that no one tells you just how hard it will be. They also just tell you to keep at it, but I could not function (we also have a very active toddler at home) on an hour of sleep while DC nursed for 11 hours. Also, I never got a chance to really bond w/ DC#1 b/c of all the time I had to pump. This time, I have told myself that it goes by too quickly to be consumed by the nursing issue. I don't know how long i will do this for, but it's not worth beating yourselves up for it.

DH and I did not want to shell out another $1K, given our lack of success last time.

[Anonymous]

I was fortunate in that my baby latched fine, gained weight, and I had a good supply. I was unfortunate in that I contracted a massive infection from my episiotomy, had to have 3 rounds of repair surgery, and was on mega doses of prescription drugs for an entire year after my son's birth (more like 18 months, actually).

-no one could agree on whether or not the drugs were compatible with b-feeding
-I was pumping and dumping it all down the drain hoping to one day "return" to b-feeding, which meant someone else had to get up and feed the baby formula
-I wasn't getting enough sleep, so I was delaying my healing even more

Finally threw in the towel when my doctor took me by the shoulders and said IT IS TIME TO STOP. Then he sent an in-home care nurse to my house to treat me how to give myself IV bags of broad-spectrum antibiotics.

I returned the rental pump, took Sudafed to dry up, put cabbage leaves in my bra, and couldn't have been happier.

Kid is 5 YO now. He got some breastmilk at the start of his life. For that I'm happy / satisfied.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you so much those who chose to share. Honestly, one ounce per session seems like a dream to me. Believe it or not, I'd be perfectly fine with that and supplementing. It looks like the colostrum is gone, and the drops coming in are my actual "supply." I think I am starting to scare DH and my mom. I guess I'll give it some time in hopes to get to that one ounce (I am using a hospital-grade pump), but I do feel like shit about it. I know I shouldn't, but I just can't help it.

I know it will get better. But good God it sucks right now... Thank you for your encouragement, I really appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

I stuck it out for a few months before losing my milk, but I was also pumping and supplementing with formula once or twice a day for most of that time since my ped suggested it. (DD was struggling to gain weight bc of really bad reflux, and for whatever reason she kept formula down better than breastmilk.)

I'm glad you don't feel guilty - you shouldn't! It's OK to give up, and it's OK to keep trying if you can/want to.

Last suggestion: NOVA Lactation Consultants in Fairfax. I had one visit with someone there - I'm blanking on her name...Joni I think?...and she was great. Taught us how to latch in like 20 minutes! AND, bonus, she agreed with my ped about supplementing with formula, and emphasized that the point of it all is just to FEED THE BABY. Even though she's a professional LC, she was totally compassionate and nonjudgmental.

Good luck, OP! Most women I know really struggled at first or even the whole time. It ain't easy.

[Anonymous]

I am a mom who breastfed her kids for 3 years but it was so hard in the beginning that I stopped and switched to formula. Luckily my mom was there to take care of me for the first 6 months and she sent me to a LC. That was the best $b150 I spent in my life! I started BFing, my kid latched and we did not look back after that.

However, breastfeeding is hard. It cannot be just a mom's decision, because she will need support and help. This is an exhausting and draining business. My DH and mom worked together to make sure that I was very well looked after so that I could nurse my baby. I was really well supported physically and mentally - for 6 months. This is not what happens with majority of new moms.

And so while I nursed my kids for a long time, I tell all new moms that they need to first get rid of the guilt. If they feel they cannot cope with it then there is no harm in formula or a combination of nursing and formula. Whatever works for you and your family and your baby.

[Anonymous]

Hang in there, OP! Sounds like you have a healthy attitude, though I know it's hard. Those first few days are awful with the sleep deprivation, the emotions of parenthood and all the hormones your body is kicking around post-labor -- the stress of bf'ing just adds to it. Whatever you do, know you're doing your best and making good decisions for your baby and your family. That's parenting, and it'll just go on from here.

[Anonymous]

* $150

[Anonymous]

are the flanges the right size? is the pump working correctly? did a LC check thesethings? both issues do happen. i am not a bf nazi, i just have bfed two kids and it is so good for your kid, so much easier in the long run than ep or formula, and so emotionally rewarding that i -want- it to work for you. just not having anymilk is prettyunlikely. if you are not making progress with a LC, try a different one. it tookme six weeks to get comfortable the first time, i wish i had found good consultant sooner. hang in there. you can do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm EPing because it is so much easier/less stressful than trying to BF. My little guy is 10 weeks old and will be on my boob for an hour...only to down an entire bottle after the fact. He's just not efficient, and nothing the LCs did helps that. It is what it is.

My little guy is gaining weight through pumping and a little bit of supplementing, and that's all I can ask for.

The mommy guilt and lactivists suck though For a long time I felt extremely guilty and like I "failed" my son--which is stupid.

I EPed for 12 weeks or so and then moved on. DD is 3.5 and now I feel silly for having felt guilty. My DD is spectacular. I don't know why I felt so bad about it.