How often do you contact your child's teacher?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call and email a lot - always be polite and thank them profusely. I always give generous gifts to the teacher for holidays, including Valentine's Day. You have a partnership with the teacher and that requires communication.

Ugh. How is giving a generous gift to your kid's teacher fostering a "partnership?"

Basically that poster is saying bribing is an effective communication tool, and that s/he is happy to do it.

This is worse than pestering the teacher with constant emails. Medal for least ethical goes to you, "generous gift" poster!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call and email a lot - always be polite and thank them profusely. I always give generous gifts to the teacher for holidays, including Valentine's Day. You have a partnership with the teacher and that requires communication.

Ugh. How is giving a generous gift to your kid's teacher fostering a "partnership?"

Basically that poster is saying bribing is an effective communication tool, and that s/he is happy to do it.

This is worse than pestering the teacher with constant emails. Medal for least ethical goes to you, "generous gift" poster!

I took this as a joke....I mean, really? Valentine's Day? Who has time to suck up that much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call and email a lot - always be polite and thank them profusely. I always give generous gifts to the teacher for holidays, including Valentine's Day. You have a partnership with the teacher and that requires communication.

Ugh. How is giving a generous gift to your kid's teacher fostering a "partnership?"

Basically that poster is saying bribing is an effective communication tool, and that s/he is happy to do it.

This is worse than pestering the teacher with constant emails. Medal for least ethical goes to you, "generous gift" poster!

I took this as a joke....I mean, really? Valentine's Day? Who has time to suck up that much?

You'd be amazed. One parent in one of my children's elementary school classes gave gifts to every single kid in the class at every holiday (Halloween, Thanksgiving, etc etc). Very bizarre and awkward. I assume the teachers also received these embarrassing gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So here is the viewpoint from the teacher side:

Parents did or didn't email me. Out of 21 kids last year about 5 parents emailed me. Out of those 2 of them emailed what I felt was excessively. 3 sent sporadic emails.

Is that a private school? I ask because of the number of kids in your class, 21. That is high.

[Anonymous]

I'm the poster that mentioned the generous gifts. I don't think teachers get paid enough and lots of times they go the extra mile. So whenever I can, I give them a gift card (in addition to whatever the class gift is). Yes, I communicate frequently but I try to show my appreciation - that is the point. It's not a bribe - it's a "thank you." Better than the parents that are a pest and don't show any gratitude! Alot of the parents that don't call or email, many of them are not advocates for their children and are more interested in pleasing the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the poster that mentioned the generous gifts. I don't think teachers get paid enough and lots of times they go the extra mile. So whenever I can, I give them a gift card (in addition to whatever the class gift is). Yes, I communicate frequently but I try to show my appreciation - that is the point. It's not a bribe - it's a "thank you." Better than the parents that are a pest and don't show any gratitude! Alot of the parents that don't call or email, many of them are not advocates for their children and are more interested in pleasing the teacher.

It seems like you have good intentions - and I am not a teacher - but I'd feel awkward if someone was frequently giving me gift cards or gifts.

[Anonymous]

It's not excessive - private schools have a limit on how much you can give the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So here is the viewpoint from the teacher side:

Parents did or didn't email me. Out of 21 kids last year about 5 parents emailed me. Out of those 2 of them emailed what I felt was excessively. 3 sent sporadic emails.

Wow! OP here. I find this so interesting. I maybe should have added that at drop off the kids are walked into the building so I don't see the teacher. I work so I don't do the pick up. I really am interested in what my child is learning and I feel like if I did not email and ask questions every so often I would NEVER even see his teacher.

I guess that some parents don't feel the need to interact with the teacher and if they are happy with that then she should not change. I just want to know as much about my child as I can, and he is not always a reliable communicator, so I rely on the the teacher at times. I am always nice, I actually think the teacher is great, so I don't complain, so hopefully teacher does not see me as a helicopter, crazy parent.

OP, you need to change your expectations of contact with the teachers. In preschool you get a lot of facetime. In elementary you need to back away, even starting in K. At DC's elementary parents weren't allowed to walk kids into class for this very reason. This idea that you should know all about their day even if its going fine is misplaced and intrusive.

You should get plenty of feedback at back to school night, school events and especially parent-teacher conferences. Show up for these and you show you are interested. Beyond that you are wasting the teacher's precious time. You may be perfectly nice but you will still create the impression that you are over involved.

Op here. Maybe you are right, and as I said originally, I have sent less that half a dozen emails over the course of this school year. My son had a bumpy start at school and I contacted the teacher. Since then I have sought clarifications for something parents were asked to do. On Friday my son came home saying that he had been punched in the eye and the kid that did it ended up "in the red" and I figured that the teacher had handled it and did not intervene.

I do however, find it ridiculous that you think it is misplaced and intrusive to want to know everything about my 6 year old's day. He is my child! I want him to feel like he can tell me anything. How will we establish communication if I don't start now being interested in his life?

[Anonymous]

If your child is in private and you are paying over $30K, I think you can call and email as much as you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your child is in private and you are paying over $30K, I think you can call and email as much as you want.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason fantastic private school teachers quit.

[Anonymous]

I only e-mail in response to e-mails or if there is an issue. With one child, that is pretty much never. With the other child, maybe every 2-3 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your child is in private and you are paying over $30K, I think you can call and email as much as you want.

Imagine if every parent in the class had that attitude. Do you want your child's teacher spending all his/her time out of the classroom answering phone calls or emails?

People just need to use good manners and common sense. If you wouldn't call over an issue, think about whether you need to send an email. Think about whether the call or email always needs to go to the teacher or could go to another class parent.

[Anonymous]

Every time there is a problem. About three times a day, Sundays less.

[Anonymous]

OP, from your 9:58 post, I can't tell who you mean - your DS or the teacher?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my child was in elementary private school, I checked in with the teacher every 2 weeks. Just a quick note to ask about progress or a class activities.

OMG, I think maybe once a year if my child was sick or to as if I could bring cup cakes for his birthday, that's it….I wait for the report card as the home communication.