10 Things Your Kid's Private School Coach Wishes S/he Could Say to Parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why a parent from a great private school would want their kid to play D-I. It's a profession at that level now. Your kid should be doing homework and having a great college experience.

They want Ivy League. Division I but academically prestigious. Except for a few who think the Ivy League isn't good enough athletically and pine away for Stanford.

It's worse in some sports than others. In this area, it's lacrosse. In the mid-to-late 1980s any starter for a strong IAC lacrosse school like St. Albans or a strong ISL school like St. Agnes/NCS/Sidwell (all strong in that time period, you can look it up) could make an Ivy League roster for men's and women's lacrosse. A lot of regional expectations about lacrosse developed then. It is still much easier to get a Division I slot in lacrosse from this area than something like basketball (although scholarship aid is generally all partial -- lacrosse is limited to 12 scholarships for a "fully funded program" and rosters of men's teams typically top 40 in number, 30+ for women's teams), but it is nothing like it was 30 years ago or even 20. To a certain extent colleges adding teams in lacrosse is opening up slots, so a Landon or Prep still has a ton of Division I signees, but, again, don't expect much money.

Interestingly, one of the reasons Ivy League sports are doing well right now (Harvard in basketball, Yale won ice hockey national championship last year, strong Ivy League men's lacrosse, etc.) is that the Ivies have adopted some aid policies that effectively allow them to give full rides to athletes who come from families with incomes below something like $60-70,000 a year. It's been a literal game-changer for them in recruiting.

[Anonymous]

Parent of a DI college player again: although DC does not play soccer, I find it interesting that posters would assume that soccer players have it easier than those in other sports. From what I have observed, those playing DI soccer have much tougher odds of being recruited. Mostly because of the sheer volume of players who play travel soccer at high school age, but also since US recruits face additional stiff competition from incoming international recruits, I think that the soccer players who make it onto the field at either DI or DIII levels are the some of the most dedicated and skilled athletes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent of a DI college player again: although DC does not play soccer, I find it interesting that posters would assume that soccer players have it easier than those in other sports. From what I have observed, those playing DI soccer have much tougher odds of being recruited. Mostly because of the sheer volume of players who play travel soccer at high school age, but also since US recruits face additional stiff competition from incoming international recruits, I think that the soccer players who make it onto the field at either DI or DIII levels are the some of the most dedicated and skilled athletes.

The ones who make it are very strong. But there are tons of delusional parents of kids who will never make a college roster, boring everyone for years with club soccer stories.

[Anonymous]

#13: If I were a better coach I would not have to say most of these things and I also would be spending more time prepping for practices and games as opposed to posting on an anonymous board complaining about the people who pay my salary.

Actually, I don't disagree with most of the OP's concepts but the attitude behind it comes through loud and clear. 4 laps for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why a parent from a great private school would want their kid to play D-I. It's a profession at that level now. Your kid should be doing homework and having a great college experience.

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-05-23/wall-street-job-pipeline-finds-work-for-college-lacrosse-players.html

No. They should be playing lacrosse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:#13: If I were a better coach I would not have to say most of these things and I also would be spending more time prepping for practices and games as opposed to posting on an anonymous board complaining about the people who pay my salary.

Actually, I don't disagree with most of the OP's concepts but the attitude behind it comes through loud and clear. 4 laps for you!

Just for a little context, I'm a teacher-coach at an independent school. I've been coaching for 10+ years, as the lead assistant for a high school varsity team. It's been a wonderful experience.

What does my job entail? Well, I do spend a lot of time "prepping for practices and games." I buy DVDs, coaching books, and attend coaching clinics on my own dime. During the season, I wait with kids if their parents get caught in traffic and are late to pick them up. I help kids make "recruiting videos" for college. I've gone with players to the emergency room and waited with them for hours when we cannot reach a parent. Every year I come back two weeks early from summer vacation for pre-season, and give up the Labor Day and Columbus Day holidays because the team practices or plays. It's 5-6 hours a day in season, and generally at least 20 hours per week when you include travel time to away games.

I get paid $2500 for the season.

I don't do it for the money, and I don't expect more money -- I'm glad the programs can afford to have assistant coaches which would not be possible if the position paid a lot more. It's been incredibly rewarding in non-monetary ways and I hope to keep doing it for many years.
But I have seen all of the parental behavior highlighted in the first post. Not a majority of parents, and it doesn't even necessarily happen every year, but I've seen all of this over the years. It doesn't take away the joy in coaching, but it can lessen it.

"But you're just an assistant!" you might say. "The head coaches get the real money and they need to take all that comes with it." Well, my head coaching counterparts around the league are either academic classroom teachers who get a small extra salary (not so much more than I make), or maybe no specific coaching pay if coaching is defined as part of the core jobs. The coaches who work full time in athletics teach a full classroom load of Physical Education.

This just isn't a highly paid gig. We are not Nick Saban or John Calipari, or even Coach Taylor from Friday Night Lights. We are coaching because we love our sport and love teaching it to your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:#13: If I were a better coach I would not have to say most of these things and I also would be spending more time prepping for practices and games as opposed to posting on an anonymous board complaining about the people who pay my salary.

Actually, I don't disagree with most of the OP's concepts but the attitude behind it comes through loud and clear. 4 laps for you!

(Typo fixed) Just for a little context, I'm a teacher-coach at an independent school. I've been coaching for 10+ years, as the lead assistant for a high school varsity team. It's been a wonderful experience.

What does my job entail? Well, I do spend a lot of time "prepping for practices and games." I buy DVDs, coaching books, and attend coaching clinics on my own dime. During the season, I wait with kids if their parents get caught in traffic and are late to pick them up. I help kids make "recruiting videos" for college. I've gone with players to the emergency room and waited with them for hours when we cannot reach a parent. Every year I come back two weeks early from summer vacation for pre-season, and give up the Labor Day and Columbus Day holidays because the team practices or plays. It's 6 days a week in season, and generally at least 20 hours per week when you include travel time to away games.

I get paid $2500 for the season.

I don't do it for the money, and I don't expect more money -- I'm glad the programs can afford to have assistant coaches which would not be possible if the position paid a lot more. It's been incredibly rewarding in non-monetary ways and I hope to keep doing it for many years.
But I have seen all of the parental behavior highlighted in the first post. Not a majority of parents, and it doesn't even necessarily happen every year, but I've seen all of this over the years. It doesn't take away the joy in coaching, but it can lessen it.

"But you're just an assistant!" you might say. "The head coaches get the real money and they need to take all that comes with it." Well, my head coaching counterparts around the league are either academic classroom teachers who get a small extra salary (not so much more than I make), or maybe no specific coaching pay if coaching is defined as part of the core jobs. The coaches who work full time in athletics teach a full classroom load of Physical Education.

This just isn't a highly paid gig. We are not Nick Saban or John Calipari, or even Coach Taylor from Friday Night Lights. We are coaching because we love our sport and love teaching it to your kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm the 12:16 poster. Then you are a dedicated coach and I applaud you. Was wrong to judge based on the limited info in the original post which I wrongly took to sound whiny. Ignore what the parents say and do and focus on the players since that's the fun part anyway. People like those you describe in your post won't listen or change. I hope you do not have too many of them but you will always have some. As the saying goes, "the biggest problem in youth sports is parents." Stay positive and be an example to the players even if you stand alone among the adults. Despite what the parents may think or do, you are making a positive difference in the kids' lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the 12:16 poster. Then you are a dedicated coach and I applaud you. Was wrong to judge based on the limited info in the original post which I wrongly took to sound whiny. Ignore what the parents say and do and focus on the players since that's the fun part anyway. People like those you describe in your post won't listen or change. I hope you do not have too many of them but you will always have some. As the saying goes, "the biggest problem in youth sports is parents." Stay positive and be an example to the players even if you stand alone among the adults. Despite what the parents may think or do, you are making a positive difference in the kids' lives.

I am the assistant coach but not the author of the original top 10 list post, which I thought was a little bit edgy (or sassy!) but accurate. Your post was both thoughtful and kind.