College Search for "Just Average" Student

[Anonymous]

This is a great thread.

OP, thanks for posting. I was starting to think that every poster on DCUM had children that were exceptional in every way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a great thread.

OP, thanks for posting. I was starting to think that every poster on DCUM had children that were exceptional in every way.

Like Lake Wobeggon?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is a bright kid, takes a few AP classes and generally gets decent grades. However, she is not a psychotic striver like some of you seem to believe is the only acceptable approach to life. She is not going to graduate having built orphanages on Mars or fed starving budgies in Dubuque. She's probably never going to win a Nobel prize, or a Pulitzer, or a Crackerjack (I know - The Horror, The Horror!). She's just a decent kid who works reasonably hard and generally keeps her head above water. The kind of behavior that got me into a decent college and landed me a decent job.

Now, I know some of you are going to suggest we stuff her in a sack and drown her in the millpond before it's too late, but we've grown kind of attached to the lil' blighter. And now that it's time to start thinking about the ol' college search, we find ourselves wondering:

Where to start? What are good schools for average students, especially in the STEM fields?

My kid, who is captain of the soccer team, editor of the school newspaper, plays in the band, volunteered at a soup kitchen, and took a photo op with a starving baby from a third world country is better than your kid. Seriously? I cannot stand uber achievers because all this stuff is a bunch of phony BS that idiots have bought into. With a parent who has a sense of humor like this, your daughter has a great start to begin with!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she could get into any number of state flagships, which generally have the strongest STEM programs anyway, because they have the research dollars. She may even get merit money at some. Look at universities that have strong regional reputations but don't recruit heavily from around the country-- like many of the big Southern schools, Ohio University, Indiana University, Purdue, University of Vermont, the University of Missouri, University of Kansas -- they're also located in great college towns. A big school will give her lots of academic options. Many kids like yours take off in college, and of course you know she's not "just average" -- more like, "refreshingly normal."

I agree with this but also want to add that some kids thrive in smaller environments, so depending on her personality and interests and goals, consider whether a SLAC is a good choice. Many 2nd tier schools seek students like your DD and have great track records getting kids into grad school. Colleges that Change Lives can help you identify some of these. There's no right answer, lots of different choices.

[Anonymous]

Has she taken the SAT or the ACT yet? Scores are not the be-all end-all, but they can help you identify schools where she safely fits in the mid-range of students, and others that might be reaches for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has she taken the SAT or the ACT yet? Scores are not the be-all end-all, but they can help you identify schools where she safely fits in the mid-range of students, and others that might be reaches for her.

OP here. No, she's still a Sophomore - we're only just barely beginning to begin thinking about beginning to start looking at colleges.

Many thanks for all the good advice here!

[Anonymous]

We have two kids like your DD. They are not super achievers, just nice, smart kids. One is LD, so will never have great test scores or perfect grades.

I went to top schools, and am very competitive, but I had to let go of all of that where my children are concerned. They are not like me, nor are they extensions of me or my ambitions. I have to accept them as they are and appreciate what they have to offer.

We have started the college search and are looking exclusively at second tier schools, mostly SLACs, which fit my kids best. What I discovered looking at these schools is that kids are very smart and interesting at all these schools. We looked at some of the more competitive SLACs, and my kids were turned off, and so was I. These super-achieving kids are doing so many things it makes my head spin. I'm glad they can handle all that, but my kids can't.

There is so much to offer at these schools, and they are places where my kids will thrive. We are not looking at large state schools because my kids would flounder there. We visited a couple, and they said no to them.

I have never heard of most of the schools we visited. I would not have considered them many years ago when I applied to college, but times have changed. Your DD will do fine, OP. She will go to a great college (a place where she feels happy and is challenged and comfortable), and will lead a successful life without being #1 at everything and super special and super accomplished.

Kids who are motivated to be the best, the brightest, the most accomplished, should go to the top schools, but for most kids, there are many colleges out there where they will thrive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have two kids like your DD. They are not super achievers, just nice, smart kids. One is LD, so will never have great test scores or perfect grades.

I went to top schools, and am very competitive, but I had to let go of all of that where my children are concerned. They are not like me, nor are they extensions of me or my ambitions. I have to accept them as they are and appreciate what they have to offer.

We have started the college search and are looking exclusively at second tier schools, mostly SLACs, which fit my kids best. What I discovered looking at these schools is that kids are very smart and interesting at all these schools. We looked at some of the more competitive SLACs, and my kids were turned off, and so was I. These super-achieving kids are doing so many things it makes my head spin. I'm glad they can handle all that, but my kids can't.

There is so much to offer at these schools, and they are places where my kids will thrive. We are not looking at large state schools because my kids would flounder there. We visited a couple, and they said no to them.

I have never heard of most of the schools we visited. I would not have considered them many years ago when I applied to college, but times have changed. Your DD will do fine, OP. She will go to a great college (a place where she feels happy and is challenged and comfortable), and will lead a successful life without being #1 at everything and super special and super accomplished.

Kids who are motivated to be the best, the brightest, the most accomplished, should go to the top schools, but for most kids, there are many colleges out there where they will thrive.

Tell us some schools you've liked!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have two kids like your DD. They are not super achievers, just nice, smart kids. One is LD, so will never have great test scores or perfect grades.

I went to top schools, and am very competitive, but I had to let go of all of that where my children are concerned. They are not like me, nor are they extensions of me or my ambitions. I have to accept them as they are and appreciate what they have to offer.

We have started the college search and are looking exclusively at second tier schools, mostly SLACs, which fit my kids best. What I discovered looking at these schools is that kids are very smart and interesting at all these schools. We looked at some of the more competitive SLACs, and my kids were turned off, and so was I. These super-achieving kids are doing so many things it makes my head spin. I'm glad they can handle all that, but my kids can't.

There is so much to offer at these schools, and they are places where my kids will thrive. We are not looking at large state schools because my kids would flounder there. We visited a couple, and they said no to them.

I have never heard of most of the schools we visited. I would not have considered them many years ago when I applied to college, but times have changed. Your DD will do fine, OP. She will go to a great college (a place where she feels happy and is challenged and comfortable), and will lead a successful life without being #1 at everything and super special and super accomplished.

Kids who are motivated to be the best, the brightest, the most accomplished, should go to the top schools, but for most kids, there are many colleges out there where they will thrive.

AMEN.

[Anonymous]

Wow OP, what a refreshing thread. I was thinking that just about every parent on this forum has only Ivy-bound kids lol

Thank you for being so honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ sorry, that should say DC struggles to maintain a 3.0, not a 4.0.

^ Is this OP?

If a child is struggling to maintain a 3.0 in high school, they will struggle even more at a university. DC should go to a community college, start fresh, maintain a good GPA for 2 years and transfer to a 4 year institution.

[Anonymous]

I have one who is striving for Ivies and another who works hard but has grades ranging from A's to C's and even (choke) a D. What can you do? Kids are people, and people vary in abilities, interests and development. I was a late bloomer academically but got into a top college. In today's climate I'd be lucky to have made it into a second tier school. I grew up a lot in college and went onto professional school. You never know...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have one who is striving for Ivies and another who works hard but has grades ranging from A's to C's and even (choke) a D. What can you do? Kids are people, and people vary in abilities, interests and development. I was a late bloomer academically but got into a top college. In today's climate I'd be lucky to have made it into a second tier school. I grew up a lot in college and went onto professional school. You never know...

This is my DD as well. I was an ok student myself, but never got a D until college math. She hates when I compare her to myself, DH and her aunts. I just want her to succeed and be successful. It's so hard being a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some thoughts: Brandeis, Boston University, Tulane, Miami u (Ohio), Lehigh, Lafayette, all-girls schools like Smith, Wellesley, Mt Holyoke (part of 5 college exchange), and Barnard.

Some of these schools are top 50. It seems kind of a reach for an "average" student

Some of the women's colleges on this list take a very high percentage of applicants, in the range of 40-50%. The lack of male applicants means less competition for a top notch education at these schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some thoughts: Brandeis, Boston University, Tulane, Miami u (Ohio), Lehigh, Lafayette, all-girls schools like Smith, Wellesley, Mt Holyoke (part of 5 college exchange), and Barnard.

Some of these schools are top 50. It seems kind of a reach for an "average" student

Some of the women's colleges on this list take a very high percentage of applicants, in the range of 40-50%. The lack of male applicants means less competition for a top notch education at these schools.

My sister went to smith and got the most unbelievable education. They also have a ton of financial aid. If you have a DD who is open minded about an all women's school you should at least add it to any tour you're doing in the NE.