Private schools accepting employee children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In general, I think it has been very good for our school community to have faculty and staff children in the classrooms. I do think that it helps to bring the community together and to open up lines of communication.

I am a bit annoyed, though, about one situation. There is one teacher whose daughter clearly has behavioral problems. As far as I can tell, teachers simply tolerate it. The mother is not a class lead teacher, but runs one of the enrichment programs and is a specialist. So, she sees and has relationships all across the school. Perhaps this results in most of the faculty having a professional relationship with her, and maybe not wanting to rock the boat. While it is not the same issue at all, I am perhaps more frustrated by this because the teacher mom runs a program that is widely regarded by parents as the worst program at the school. She is polite, has a dignified demeanor, and a put together look. Unfortunately, though, she seems to be wholly incompetent at her job. I do not say this lightly as several parents I know well have Masters or PhD level degrees and this teacher's area of work, and all agree that she is woefully behind on best practices for teaching, and on the actual substance. It is hard to say whether people are more hesitant to raise this issue because her daughter is in classes with the rest of our kids. We all have to pick our battles, and who wants to pick a battle with a woman who is the parent of a child in our kids class, especially when the child is already more difficult than most?

What I find interesting is that people don't seem to mind that teachers, at least specialist, are allowed to teach their own children in the classroom. But, if a parent wants to have a teacher tutor their child, or give guitar or violin lessons, that is not allowed while the student is one of thecteacher's students. I understand the principles involved. But isn't the potential bias a child parent would have much greater than that of a tutor? Isn't there more of a danger of teachers kids being favored because other teachers don't want to engage in conflict with their peer teachers?


Again, overall I think it's a great thing that faculty and staff kids are at the school. And I would not change our policies of supporting that. I think we should be more aware, though, of possible Ramifications, and that the school, and parents, need to in sure that nobody, whether a faculty or staff kid, or a violin student, is treated preferentially.

Umm. You don't understand the principles involved. This issue is one of vulnerability to child sexual abuse, not "bias" toward a student. Good schools have policies that forbid teachers or other school staff tutoring or babysitting or performing any other services for the student or family not because of issues of bias, but because these types of relationships are often used by pedophiles to "groom" the student (and the family) for sexual abuse. No school worth its salt should allow this kind of faculty or staff interaction with families outside the school environment -- not only because a child can end up being abused, but also because if that happens there is a huge potential legal liability for the school.

If a parent teaches his/her own child, the abuse issue isn't there, because we assume that a parent doesn't abuse their own child, for the most part. Even when a parent does have an abusive relationship with their own child, the parent already has access to the child and presumably would not abuse their own child in the school environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC's school provides 50% tuition remission for faculty.

The tuition per year is over 30K and I am frankly tired of hearing how there isn't enough money in the budget. I wish the school would re-examine the faculty tuition remission plan to help with the shortfalls.

+1, and would add annual hefty increases for faculty and staff as well. We haven't had a raise in 3 years, and it irks me that they can't tighten their belts as well.

What's your current salary? Nice to complain about people making 50,000 getting raises. Poor, poor, poor you.

[Anonymous]

I really like that so many of the teachers and other employees at my kids' school send their own children. It shows me they think as highly of the school as I do! Also, they're some of the most fun people to talk to at school events, because they're got good stories.

And remember, they're parents too just like all of you. They're often anxious about how other non-teacher parents will treat them, about whether other parents might think their children are not as qualified, about whether their children will do well at the school, and about whether having both child and parent at the school is too close.

It's all the same issues you worry about, plus several extra complicated ones. So give them a break, willya?

-- not a teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At a reception for admitted families, I was surprised by how many faculty and staff spoke about their children attending the school. At the reception itself, several staff members were also celebrating the admittance of their child or children, which is fantastic. But, it seemed like a whoooole lot of staff!
I have to imagine that staff are given full tuition remission or tuition benefits.
Is anyone familiar with this practice? How common is it in private schools in the area? Beyond creating massive employee loyalty and satisfaction, what are the other benefits to the school as a whole?

No. This is just not so. In fact, this is why I left my teaching position of 20 years at a Big Three - my child was admitted with zero financial aid or tuition remission.

We could not afford it, and I could not stomach working there with such a bad taste in my mouth.

[Anonymous]

I think it is nice that they accept employee children. If you want great teachers you must do what is best for their family sometimes to entice them to stay as the pay isn't great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really like that so many of the teachers and other employees at my kids' school send their own children. It shows me they think as highly of the school as I do! Also, they're some of the most fun people to talk to at school events, because they're got good stories.

And remember, they're parents too just like all of you. They're often anxious about how other non-teacher parents will treat them, about whether other parents might think their children are not as qualified, about whether their children will do well at the school, and about whether having both child and parent at the school is too close.

It's all the same issues you worry about, plus several extra complicated ones. So give them a break, willya?

-- not a teacher

Sure, but who is going to refuse a free or discounted education in DC given the extreme tuition and ability to drop off and pick up your kid from work? Who would say no to that? I don't make the leap that it's fully about thinking highly of the school or feeling that it is a great fit for your child.
Ultimately, I think that prospective parents want to feel like the process of admission is fair! The notion that spots are going to wealthy donors, board member kids, employees, etc. upset the rest of the parents out there that are going about the process without employee connections or extreme wealth. The glossy brochures from private schools talk about cultivating an ideal study class body for the particular school. But when you hear about all of these kids that get in due to the above reasons, it makes you question that a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At a reception for admitted families, I was surprised by how many faculty and staff spoke about their children attending the school. At the reception itself, several staff members were also celebrating the admittance of their child or children, which is fantastic. But, it seemed like a whoooole lot of staff!
I have to imagine that staff are given full tuition remission or tuition benefits.
Is anyone familiar with this practice? How common is it in private schools in the area? Beyond creating massive employee loyalty and satisfaction, what are the other benefits to the school as a whole?

No. This is just not so. In fact, this is why I left my teaching position of 20 years at a Big Three - my child was admitted with zero financial aid or tuition remission.

We could not afford it, and I could not stomach working there with such a bad taste in my mouth.

That's rotten. I'm sorry. I wouldn't be able to stomach it either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At a reception for admitted families, I was surprised by how many faculty and staff spoke about their children attending the school. At the reception itself, several staff members were also celebrating the admittance of their child or children, which is fantastic. But, it seemed like a whoooole lot of staff!
I have to imagine that staff are given full tuition remission or tuition benefits.
Is anyone familiar with this practice? How common is it in private schools in the area? Beyond creating massive employee loyalty and satisfaction, what are the other benefits to the school as a whole?

No. This is just not so. In fact, this is why I left my teaching position of 20 years at a Big Three - my child was admitted with zero financial aid or tuition remission.

We could not afford it, and I could not stomach working there with such a bad taste in my mouth.

That's rotten. I'm sorry. I wouldn't be able to stomach it either.

Interesting. There are clearly a LOT of teachers commenting on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really like that so many of the teachers and other employees at my kids' school send their own children. It shows me they think as highly of the school as I do! Also, they're some of the most fun people to talk to at school events, because they're got good stories.

And remember, they're parents too just like all of you. They're often anxious about how other non-teacher parents will treat them, about whether other parents might think their children are not as qualified, about whether their children will do well at the school, and about whether having both child and parent at the school is too close.

It's all the same issues you worry about, plus several extra complicated ones. So give them a break, willya?

-- not a teacher

Sure, but who is going to refuse a free or discounted education in DC given the extreme tuition and ability to drop off and pick up your kid from work? Who would say no to that? I don't make the leap that it's fully about thinking highly of the school or feeling that it is a great fit for your child.
Ultimately, I think that prospective parents want to feel like the process of admission is fair! The notion that spots are going to wealthy donors, board member kids, employees, etc. upset the rest of the parents out there that are going about the process without employee connections or extreme wealth. The glossy brochures from private schools talk about cultivating an ideal study class body for the particular school. But when you hear about all of these kids that get in due to the above reasons, it makes you question that a bit.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At a reception for admitted families, I was surprised by how many faculty and staff spoke about their children attending the school. At the reception itself, several staff members were also celebrating the admittance of their child or children, which is fantastic. But, it seemed like a whoooole lot of staff!
I have to imagine that staff are given full tuition remission or tuition benefits.
Is anyone familiar with this practice? How common is it in private schools in the area? Beyond creating massive employee loyalty and satisfaction, what are the other benefits to the school as a whole?

No. This is just not so. In fact, this is why I left my teaching position of 20 years at a Big Three - my child was admitted with zero financial aid or tuition remission.

We could not afford it, and I could not stomach working there with such a bad taste in my mouth.

That's rotten. I'm sorry. I wouldn't be able to stomach it either.

Interesting. There are clearly a LOT of teachers commenting on this thread.

Hmm? I'm the one who said that (the "rotten" comment) and I'm in high-tech, not teaching, and a private school parent. I just can't imagine being happy coming into work every day to provide a service that I can't afford for my own kid to enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At a reception for admitted families, I was surprised by how many faculty and staff spoke about their children attending the school. At the reception itself, several staff members were also celebrating the admittance of their child or children, which is fantastic. But, it seemed like a whoooole lot of staff!
I have to imagine that staff are given full tuition remission or tuition benefits.
Is anyone familiar with this practice? How common is it in private schools in the area? Beyond creating massive employee loyalty and satisfaction, what are the other benefits to the school as a whole?

No. This is just not so. In fact, this is why I left my teaching position of 20 years at a Big Three - my child was admitted with zero financial aid or tuition remission.

We could not afford it, and I could not stomach working there with such a bad taste in my mouth.

That's rotten. I'm sorry. I wouldn't be able to stomach it either.

Interesting. There are clearly a LOT of teachers commenting on this thread.

Hmm? I'm the one who said that (the "rotten" comment) and I'm in high-tech, not teaching, and a private school parent. I just can't imagine being happy coming into work every day to provide a service that I can't afford for my own kid to enjoy.

Devil's advocate here, but isn't that life? I provide a professional service that I wouldn't be able to afford, but that doesn't bring me down or make me feel bitter about what I do. It's reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really like that so many of the teachers and other employees at my kids' school send their own children. It shows me they think as highly of the school as I do! Also, they're some of the most fun people to talk to at school events, because they're got good stories.

And remember, they're parents too just like all of you. They're often anxious about how other non-teacher parents will treat them, about whether other parents might think their children are not as qualified, about whether their children will do well at the school, and about whether having both child and parent at the school is too close.

It's all the same issues you worry about, plus several extra complicated ones. So give them a break, willya?

-- not a teacher

Sure, but who is going to refuse a free or discounted education in DC given the extreme tuition and ability to drop off and pick up your kid from work? Who would say no to that? I don't make the leap that it's fully about thinking highly of the school or feeling that it is a great fit for your child.
Ultimately, I think that prospective parents want to feel like the process of admission is fair! The notion that spots are going to wealthy donors, board member kids, employees, etc. upset the rest of the parents out there that are going about the process without employee connections or extreme wealth. The glossy brochures from private schools talk about cultivating an ideal study class body for the particular school. But when you hear about all of these kids that get in due to the above reasons, it makes you question that a bit.

It's 3:59 again. You've got a lot of points packed in there. Here are some responses.
1. I take your point that many teachers might choose a school for convenience and low cost rather than particular desire. But at least at my kids' school, most of the teachers I know who send their children there are pretty outspoken about their positive feelings. I get that many people will say positive things about their employers just to maintain job security, but the boosterism many exhibit goes far beyond just lip-service. Also, I've heard there's no specific tuition break for the teachers, so if that's true, that's a pretty big sacrifice for them to make if they don't feel strongly about the school. I'm not saying you're wrong -- surely there may be some who view it like you describe -- but I don't think your view is what's motivating most of them.
2. Whether the admissions process is fair or not depends on what you mean by fair, and who you're trying to be fair to. For better or worse, my kids' school doesn't really claim to be constructing the "ideal study [student?] class body," and although it does well on academics, it stated focus is more about building community and respect for others. As a result, the school puts a lot of emphasis on making sure families in the school's community are protected and respected by the school. That may mean some younger siblings (or some alumni children, or some employees' children) get admitted even though their WPPSI test scores might be less stellar than other applicants, because the school wants to respect and do right by the families who are part of the community. Is that fair? It's hard to say. Maybe it's not viewed as fair by applicant families who want a completely merit-based process. But a completely merit-based process might not be fair to families who have committed their time and attention (and yes, their money) to the school.

I'm not trying to say these things about my kids' school as a way of bragging on it. I'm just trying to point out that a lot of teachers -- at all private schools, I'm sure -- have those jobs because they're fully committed to the school community. They supposedly are making less money than they might make teaching at public schools, and even at schools where there are tuition breaks, they're likely spending a proportionally large amount of HHI to send their children. So if some schools "reward" the teachers by giving their children an admissions hook comparable to what younger siblings and alumni get, that makes a lot of sense to me. I get that it may be frustrating when you're applying to schools, but you've got to look at it from other perspectives.

HTH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At a reception for admitted families, I was surprised by how many faculty and staff spoke about their children attending the school. At the reception itself, several staff members were also celebrating the admittance of their child or children, which is fantastic. But, it seemed like a whoooole lot of staff!
I have to imagine that staff are given full tuition remission or tuition benefits.
Is anyone familiar with this practice? How common is it in private schools in the area? Beyond creating massive employee loyalty and satisfaction, what are the other benefits to the school as a whole?

No. This is just not so. In fact, this is why I left my teaching position of 20 years at a Big Three - my child was admitted with zero financial aid or tuition remission.

We could not afford it, and I could not stomach working there with such a bad taste in my mouth.

That's rotten. I'm sorry. I wouldn't be able to stomach it either.

Interesting. There are clearly a LOT of teachers commenting on this thread.

Hmm? I'm the one who said that (the "rotten" comment) and I'm in high-tech, not teaching, and a private school parent. I just can't imagine being happy coming into work every day to provide a service that I can't afford for my own kid to enjoy.

Devil's advocate here, but isn't that life? I provide a professional service that I wouldn't be able to afford, but that doesn't bring me down or make me feel bitter about what I do. It's reality.

YMMV, of course -- just because I wouldn't be happy doesn't mean that nobody would.

I can well imagine a job, say, maintaining other people's Jaguars that I could not afford, or assisting with cosmetic surgery that I could not afford, or giving people elaborate 24-karat manicures that I could not afford. But educating my child is deeper and more fundamental to my values. I wouldn't be happy at all.

[Anonymous]

This is a little bit of a strange thread. I get the initial post but the person who claims that half of her kid's class is faculty children seems crazy. Really 50%? What school is this? I am a teacher at a private school which has faculty kids in the school, and first of all, some have been turned down or asked to repeat because the school didn't think it was the right fit for the children. But those who are there are great kids and fit into the community just fine. There is no preferential treatment, I don't even think about it when I am teaching. Truly most teachers are doing their job because they care about the academic and social and emotional growth of their students and treat all of the kids the same. If I had a problem with a faculty kid, which I have, I approach it just as I would with any other kid and their family. I think it's really ugly to assume the teacher's kids aren't worthy of the same education aren't smart or rich enough to be there. It never occurred to me that every time a faculty kid is successful or gets a role in the play or whatever that you think it is preferential treatment. Why wouldn't that kid be deserving? Yuck, I hope most people don't feel like that. If anything, that puts a huge disadvantage on the kids not an advantage. As far as the school that has half of the class being faculty kids, that's just statistically odd that all of the teachers would have the same age kids. And if one or two are behavior problems that just luck of the draw and I am sure they are death with like any one else is. If not, you need to consider a new school because your school has an administration problem.

[Anonymous]

Meant to write "dealt" not " death." Yikes!