Rant: What do you hate most about TTC

[Anonymous]

So I actually am someone who is TTC #2 through IVF. I had to conceive DS, my first child, through IVF. It sucked, and I was anxious/miserable from the get go. I knew I had to do IVF right away, so I didnt waste much time trying the way you are OP, but it was miserable from the get go. But the IVF process is so much more involved than have sex 2 weeks into the month, take a pregnancy test at the end of the month, so I chalked up my misery to that. But it's interesting to read that people trying the "old fashioned way" seem to get as anxious and miserable as us high-tech TTC'ers. OP, hang in there. My colleague at work just got pregnant (she's 20 weeks now) on her 8th month of trying. She had actually just booked to go see the RE. a friend of mine from high school got pregnant on her 9th or 10th month of trying. Obviously frustrating, but it doesnt mean anything is wrong with you. I think the problem is we hear all the stories of people who got pregnant by accident the first month they tried but looking at their husband blah blah blah, or took a pregnancy test just out of curiosity and got a BFP, but you dont hear of all the stories of people who took 5,6,7,8 months etc. Reading this thread does make me feel better because I feel so sorry for myself doing IVF and thinking it sucks compared to the au naturale crowd, but it looks like the au naturale crowd is pretty miserable too, and misery does love company/.

[Anonymous]

I'm 4 cycles in TTC #2. With #1 it took us 10 cycles to get pregnant and we had an appointment with a RE scheduled for 3 days after I got my BFP. DH had already completed a semen analysis, which indicated we might need some assistance, and my cycles are irregular, so each attempt takes longer than the typical month-long cycle. You would think since this is my second time that the whole process would be easier but it's just as stressful as the last time. I get a little crazier each month and I can't help but wonder if the first time was a total miracle and if it will happen again for us. Just got my period last night so I'm feeling pretty bummed today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I actually am someone who is TTC #2 through IVF. I had to conceive DS, my first child, through IVF. It sucked, and I was anxious/miserable from the get go. I knew I had to do IVF right away, so I didnt waste much time trying the way you are OP, but it was miserable from the get go. But the IVF process is so much more involved than have sex 2 weeks into the month, take a pregnancy test at the end of the month, so I chalked up my misery to that. But it's interesting to read that people trying the "old fashioned way" seem to get as anxious and miserable as us high-tech TTC'ers. OP, hang in there. My colleague at work just got pregnant (she's 20 weeks now) on her 8th month of trying. She had actually just booked to go see the RE. a friend of mine from high school got pregnant on her 9th or 10th month of trying. Obviously frustrating, but it doesnt mean anything is wrong with you. I think the problem is we hear all the stories of people who got pregnant by accident the first month they tried but looking at their husband blah blah blah, or took a pregnancy test just out of curiosity and got a BFP, but you dont hear of all the stories of people who took 5,6,7,8 months etc. Reading this thread does make me feel better because I feel so sorry for myself doing IVF and thinking it sucks compared to the au naturale crowd, but it looks like the au naturale crowd is pretty miserable too, and misery does love company/.

OP here: I really appreciate your very thoughtful comments. You're right, we never hear about the 5, 6, 7 month crowd etc. And misery definitely loves company. People actually don't talk much about TTC, in part because you don't even find out people are pregnant usually until they are three months along. For the IVF route, its really interesting, I know three women who have gone through it (successfully) and two who are currently going through that route, and one probably going that route. And to give you perspective, I am only 30.

[Anonymous]

I hate that I have made myself crazy enough to take seriously the posts of cheesy, uneducated strangers who would use the term "baby dance."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate that I have made myself crazy enough to take seriously the posts of cheesy, uneducated strangers who would use the term "baby dance."

No joke. Thank god for DCUM or we'd all be banging our heads against the wall on babycenter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate that I have made myself crazy enough to take seriously the posts of cheesy, uneducated strangers who would use the term "baby dance."

No joke. Thank god for DCUM or we'd all be banging our heads against the wall on babycenter.

Amen to that. I read that crap when I'm going a little nutty over trying, but those folks are ridiculous. Can't we call it sex like adults?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate that I have made myself crazy enough to take seriously the posts of cheesy, uneducated strangers who would use the term "baby dance."

No joke. Thank god for DCUM or we'd all be banging our heads against the wall on babycenter.

Amen to that. I read that crap when I'm going a little nutty over trying, but those folks are ridiculous. Can't we call it sex like adults?

For the longest time I thought BD= bedding down, whatever that means. I thought it was some kind of dirty slang for sex. "Baby dance" never even crossed my mind

I also thought BFP/BFN= Big Fu&*ing Positive/Negative.

[Anonymous]

Most boards I've seen call it "BMS"- baby making sex.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone else feel like this process just hits them harder than it should and yet they can't snap out of it? That's how I feel. Like rationally, I can see in theory how one should have perspective that other things in life are good- one's husband, job, the health of one's parents, etc., things to feel lucky about, and that in theory this will work out eventually, but the misery of it while you're in it and the lack of control and the monthly roller coaster just gets me irrationally crazy. Anyone else? and DH totally doesn't get it or sympathize

[Anonymous]

We're just at the point that I saw my OB for a check-in. If I get my period this month, we'll be doing bloodwork just to see where things are.

I'm 34, so I still technically fall in the "must try for a year" category, but having tried for over six months now when it didn't take us that long to conceive our first...yeah, it can get kind of maddening.

And I get how lucky I am to have one already--for those struggling to conceive their first, a particular shout-out and good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

PP: I am also TTC for #2. I thought it would be easier this time but it's not. Yes, we have our DC's, but in some ways that makes it harder, or at least does for me. How old is your DC? Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else feel like this process just hits them harder than it should and yet they can't snap out of it? That's how I feel. Like rationally, I can see in theory how one should have perspective that other things in life are good- one's husband, job, the health of one's parents, etc., things to feel lucky about, and that in theory this will work out eventually, but the misery of it while you're in it and the lack of control and the monthly roller coaster just gets me irrationally crazy. Anyone else? and DH totally doesn't get it or sympathize

I am completely irrationally crazy and understand where you are coming from. Last month, I felt constantly anxious about the whole thing, and having that anxiety was upsetting to me. I tried to put everything in perspective (at least, my husband tries to get me to put it in perspective), but it didn't work. This month, so far, I am calmer. The first few months I tried to eat pasteurized cheese, not a lot of drinking, deli meat, etc, just in case I got pregnant. I particularly didn't drink a lot in case it would hurt my fertility. Well, that clearly didn't work so to de-stress this month I have decided to have a glass of wine a night (or when I am in the mood). I think my mental health and lack of stress is the most important thing at this point.

[Anonymous]

Yes, to PP: even if you get pregnant, the fetus doesnt share bloodstream with you right away, so a glass of wine or unpasteurized cheese doesnt matter while TTC. Glad you feel calmer this month!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP: I am also TTC for #2. I thought it would be easier this time but it's not. Yes, we have our DC's, but in some ways that makes it harder, or at least does for me. How old is your DC? Hang in there!

Good luck to you too!

Our DC is around two and a half. Having a hoped-for age gap kind of messes with the head a little too, but that's something I let go. I joke to myself that every month we fail is one less month of making two daycare payments. Of course, if we get into infertility treatment that's a whole other financial stress, but we're not there yet, and I'm trying not to look too far ahead at this point for my own sanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, to PP: even if you get pregnant, the fetus doesnt share bloodstream with you right away, so a glass of wine or unpasteurized cheese doesnt matter while TTC. Glad you feel calmer this month!

I'm not against small amounts of wine or unpasteurized cheese but the idea that nothing you ingest in the early days of pregnancy can affect the fetus is wrong.