Please tell me I am not the only one who think these questsions are silly

[Anonymous]

It isn't a race people. No need to worry about your child "falling behind." My son takes swimming lessons and that is it (and that is only b/c I think it is important to learn how to swim). He is very imaginative and I put that on the application. Not too many kids are imaginative these days b/c they are kept so busy. How many times can they read "Jimmy/Janie takes ballet, soccer, gymnastics, Mandarin."

[Anonymous]

These questions, as a pp noted, reveal more about the parents than the child in many cases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am going to go out on a limb here and actually answer the question asked. You are clearly not the only one who finds the questions silly, but there are those who do not find them silly at all and have ample information to provide in answer to them.

Some children do in fact have "special skills" that are already clearly evident at 3+ or 4 years old.

Because this is anonymous, I will put our own situation out there in order to provide a concrete example. Our dc is very skilled at drawing and - at the age of 3 - draws entire scenes with people (complete with full faces and body parts and clothing), trees, flowers, sky, etc., in which the people are engaged in different activities. Yes, this is at 3 years old.

So, it happens. There is a reason the questions exist.

(Fwiw, I remember seeing an essay about very similar question that was published about applications to preschools and the "silliness" of being asked to "describe your 2 year old" - which was another question that did not seem silly to me at the time but clearly seemed silly to others.)

True, there are some kids with exceptional skills at 3 and 4. One of our kids didn't have anything academically or physically extraordinary to write about and one did (she had multiple things actually, just an advanced child but, that doesn't necessarily mean anything for her future success - everyone needs to remember that and that is what makes it a bit silly I think). But the one who didn't was an unusually compassionate and thoughtful BOY with an exceptional ability to concentrate on a task for a long stretch, so we wrote about that. I think it helps if you think "outside the box" for most children. In other words, not just reading, writing, arithmetic, athletic ability or artistic but, about their character or personality. Hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

Honestly -- how does a sincere, simple question create such venom?

I've been thru a few applications for pre-k. And yes, some of my kids did have extra activities like soccer and baseball at the Y, etc -- and swimming because I think it is an important safety skill to learn as early as possible.

Mostly, they're looking for readiness skills and motor skills. My youngest was a wiz with legos early -- mostly because of the older boys. But it showed an early fine motor skill -- and now in K he is drawing and writing very well. My oldest showed an early interest in letters and reading -- while he wasn't reading in pre-k, he understood that all those symbols made the words that we would read together. He was reading the summer before K.

So the questions are worded "seriously" because some edu-consultant did that for the school and that is some "standard" they are trying to show YOU they are following. Answer them honestly.

The good schools want to know about you and your family and how interactive you are. The grotesque schools want to know how much money and nanny-drive time you have. Saying your 4 year-old's favorite activity is reading with you at bedtime or Sat afternoons in the library is a much better answer than the over-scheduled & stimulated activities of others.

AND don't worry about the timing of your apps. Yep - you may not get into your 1st choice because of it. But hopefully the school will simply tell you that. Choosing a school is about the right fit for the child. I made my decision very late about my youngest and actually applied in February for a fairly expensive well-talked about private school. He got in because it was the right school for him.

Good Luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly -- how does a sincere, simple question create such venom?

I've been thru a few applications for pre-k. And yes, some of my kids did have extra activities like soccer and baseball at the Y, etc -- and swimming because I think it is an important safety skill to learn as early as possible.

Mostly, they're looking for readiness skills and motor skills. My youngest was a wiz with legos early -- mostly because of the older boys. But it showed an early fine motor skill -- and now in K he is drawing and writing very well. My oldest showed an early interest in letters and reading -- while he wasn't reading in pre-k, he understood that all those symbols made the words that we would read together. He was reading the summer before K.

So the questions are worded "seriously" because some edu-consultant did that for the school and that is some "standard" they are trying to show YOU they are following. Answer them honestly.

The good schools want to know about you and your family and how interactive you are. The grotesque schools want to know how much money and nanny-drive time you have. Saying your 4 year-old's favorite activity is reading with you at bedtime or Sat afternoons in the library is a much better answer than the over-scheduled & stimulated activities of others.

AND don't worry about the timing of your apps. Yep - you may not get into your 1st choice because of it. But hopefully the school will simply tell you that. Choosing a school is about the right fit for the child. I made my decision very late about my youngest and actually applied in February for a fairly expensive well-talked about private school. He got in because it was the right school for him.

Good Luck!

A sensible post, from a sensible mom, though as with an earlier post, apparently not a Big Three family. There must be a lesson in this pattern somewhere . . .

[Anonymous]

I agree with the posts that level reason. We responded something along the lines of our child like to build and stack things. Big deal. Got in everywhere we applied.

Really, the venom and nonsense on these boards get really old in short order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It isn't a race people. No need to worry about your child "falling behind." My son takes swimming lessons and that is it (and that is only b/c I think it is important to learn how to swim). He is very imaginative and I put that on the application. Not too many kids are imaginative these days b/c they are kept so busy. How many times can they read "Jimmy/Janie takes ballet, soccer, gymnastics, Mandarin."

It may not be a race. But take it from this veteran parent of the private school scene, getting in to a Top 3 is a competitive, and sometimes brutal, sport.

[Anonymous]

Even so, having tons of activities and obsessing over the forms is not necessarily the (only) way to win.

[Anonymous]

A sensible post, from a sensible mom, though as with an earlier post, apparently not a Big Three family. There must be a lesson in this pattern somewhere . . .

What ?!? How do you know where the kids go to school from these posts? Can you see through the screen of anonymity somehow?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

A sensible post, from a sensible mom, though as with an earlier post, apparently not a Big Three family. There must be a lesson in this pattern somewhere . . .

What ?!? How do you know where the kids go to school from these posts? Can you see through the screen of anonymity somehow?

It's called careful reading. Or deductive reasoning. Or just knowledge. All things that our DCs have to go through when subject to the battery of test. One of those PP noted the February application. All of the Big Threes (and Big Eight as far as I know) have application deadlines well before then. Other clues include "fairly expensive" (not the Big Three) and the reference to "grotesque" schools (read, Sidwell, Beauvoir). There's also in that PP as well as the other, references to the right "fit." More often that not, this a euphemism or defense mechanism for those who did not get in to the Big Three. I could tick off a few others clues, but it's just about time for pick-up for my Big Bowed Girl (yes, there's a clue there, too).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

A sensible post, from a sensible mom, though as with an earlier post, apparently not a Big Three family. There must be a lesson in this pattern somewhere . . .

What ?!? How do you know where the kids go to school from these posts? Can you see through the screen of anonymity somehow?

It's called careful reading. Or deductive reasoning. Or just knowledge. All things that our DCs have to go through when subject to the battery of test. One of those PP noted the February application. All of the Big Threes (and Big Eight as far as I know) have application deadlines well before then. Other clues include "fairly expensive" (not the Big Three) and the reference to "grotesque" schools (read, Sidwell, Beauvoir). There's also in that PP as well as the other, references to the right "fit." More often that not, this a euphemism or defense mechanism for those who did not get in to the Big Three. I could tick off a few others clues, but it's just about time for pick-up for my Big Bowed Girl (yes, there's a clue there, too).

OMG I've been reading this forum for WAAAAY too long.... just out of curiosity, natch.... but I compeletely agree with everything you said AND I understand your BBG reference. Yikes!

[Anonymous]

sensible mom here -- no we're not, never have been, do not wish to be - a big 3 family. All my boys have gone to private, eventually single gender schools. All my boys have done well where they are/have been -- because it is the right fit for them.

and please explain - what's a bbg???

[Anonymous]

Hmmm PP, I question some of your deductive reasoning. I don't think PP who said

grotesque schools

meant

(read, Sidwell, Beauvoir)

as you suggested. I think she meant that a school that wants to know how much money you make or how much

nanny drive time

you have (I dont know what this means) is why a school is grotesque. Contrary to some rumor mongering on this site, I dont think that is especially important to at least one of the schools you name. Also, to some people $25 or 26 or 27 thousand is only moderately expensive. Its all relative. As for the right "fit" being a

euphemism or defense mechanism for those who did not get in to the Big Three

I think its a term often used by those at the Big Three as well to show that they picked their school for the right reason, not for "prestige." Just my two cents...

[Anonymous]

and I have a BBG but she doesnt go where I think your's does

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:sensible mom here -- no we're not, never have been, do not wish to be - a big 3 family. All my boys have gone to private, eventually single gender schools. All my boys have done well where they are/have been -- because it is the right fit for them.

and please explain - what's a bbg???

Big Bowed Girl (as in hair bow). I still don't understand the appeal of them (the bows, that is).