4 year old might get kicked out of ballet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does it confuse you OP?

A class for 3 year olds can still be a class where kids are expected to listen.

Seeing as you haven't been watching you don't really have any idea what your daughter has been doing. The teacher is in the classroom - she is seeing it. I would talk to her more and find out what the problem is.

I was confused because prior to before Christmas her behavior was completely acceptable-- both by her then teacher's standards and mine. Her old classroom was near the monitors and I watched every class from last March until the beginning of January. Her behavior was no different than the other kids, so it seems strange that she's being singled out now. The things I have seen that I know would have annoyed me as a teacher like jumping in line or not standing perfectly straight weren't sources of concern for her old teacher. It's not like dd is crying or running around like some of the other kids-- or at least she wasn't with her old teacher.
The teacher isn't really available outside if the class-- DDs class is from to 9-9:45 and her next class starts at 9:50. Maybe she had been meaning to talk to me the past couple of weeks and didn't have time .
So the reason behind my original post was I thought it was strange to threaten to kick a preschooler out of a private class that is only 45 minutes long and once a week if the kid isn't being dangerous (hitting other kids or the teacher) or overtly disruptive (crying inconsolably, refusing to participate, being destructive or running around everywhere). Apparently the standards of behavior for a three year old are much higher than I thought. Good to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got kicked out of ballet when I was 5. Best thing that ever happened to me, that sh*t was just boring.

Me too. I ran into the boy's bathroom to keep the teacher from getting me as she chased me down the hall.

Another one who got kicked out of ballet as a kid. I refused to take my sweater off, the teacher said she needed to see me in my leotard to make sure I was breathing correctly. My mom didnt know that once the door closed and lesson started, she made comments about my pot belly in front of the other kids (I was 5). I was a thin child, always on the thin side of normal but had a pot belly and was self conscious about it. I took up piano instead and love it to this day.

[Anonymous]

I was confused because prior to before Christmas her behavior was completely acceptable-- both by her then teacher's standards and mine. Her old classroom was near the monitors and I watched every class from last March until the beginning of January. Her behavior was no different than the other kids, so it seems strange that she's being singled out now. The things I have seen that I know would have annoyed me as a teacher like jumping in line or not standing perfectly straight weren't sources of concern for her old teacher. It's not like dd is crying or running around like some of the other kids-- or at least she wasn't with her old teacher.
The teacher isn't really available outside if the class-- DDs class is from to 9-9:45 and her next class starts at 9:50. Maybe she had been meaning to talk to me the past couple of weeks and didn't have time .
So the reason behind my original post was I thought it was strange to threaten to kick a preschooler out of a private class that is only 45 minutes long and once a week if the kid isn't being dangerous (hitting other kids or the teacher) or overtly disruptive (crying inconsolably, refusing to participate, being destructive or running around everywhere). Apparently the standards of behavior for a three year old are much higher than I thought. Good to know.

Well, it is no longer January, so watch the monitor again, for goodness sakes! How is anyone supposed to respond to this when you can't even tell us what is currently going on? Maybe the teacher is mean and strict, maybe your child is acting up more, who can say? Go back, get the information, and move forward from there.

[Anonymous]

When I see DD is not listening well, I reminder her after class that she is there to learn and needs to listen to the teacher. I tell her she is there to have fun, but that it is not playtime. Dd got a timeout once in swimming - which I think was great. It showed her she needs to listen to the teacher. Personally, I see dance, swimming, gymnastics teachers as the equivalent of classroom teachers and think they should correct disruptive behavior. If a kid still doesn't get it, then by all means kick the kid out. As a parent, I watch lessons and try to reinforce the type of behavior that is to be expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got kicked out of ballet when I was 5. Best thing that ever happened to me, that sh*t was just boring.

Me too. I ran into the boy's bathroom to keep the teacher from getting me as she chased me down the hall.

Hahaha. I developed mysterious tummy pain just before class - every single class. My mom got the hint and pulled me out. OP, there is obviously difference of opinion between you and teacher, I would talk to her and observe a class, but if they are kicking your dd out bit sure what else you can do. You definitely should be getting your money back for the next session. If your dd wants to do ballet / dancing, check out other opportunities where it fits better with your dd.

[Anonymous]

Op - what exactly were you told about why she might get kicked out. What were you told about her behavior. She is obviously doing something that is making her stand out from the other kids - maybe she isn't following directions, maybe she is running around, maybe she is using up a disproportionate amount of teacher time. There is something going on that you need to figure out. Obviously watching a class would be a good place to start. And asking the teacher to talk maybe before class would be better if she has another class immediately after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

4 isn't too young to follow directions and not see it as goof off in a tutu time.

(Not OP) when is a child allowed to have goof off in a tutu if not at age 4? I'm legitimately curious. It seems like there are no opportunities to just have fun anymore. Everything is so structured and serious.

[Anonymous]

OP, is the new teacher from Eastern Europe/former USSR by any chance? I am Russian and a lot of moms I know specifically seek this type of teacher- pretty strict, very result oriented. It is a former USSR style of teaching.
I don't think your daughter is doing anything different from before Christmas, it is more likely the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got kicked out of ballet when I was 5. Best thing that ever happened to me, that sh*t was just boring.

Me too. I ran into the boy's bathroom to keep the teacher from getting me as she chased me down the hall.

Another one who got kicked out of ballet as a kid. I refused to take my sweater off, the teacher said she needed to see me in my leotard to make sure I was breathing correctly. My mom didnt know that once the door closed and lesson started, she made comments about my pot belly in front of the other kids (I was 5). I was a thin child, always on the thin side of normal but had a pot belly and was self conscious about it. I took up piano instead and love it to this day.

What a sad adult to make comments about a little's kid's stomach in front of other kids. She probably had her own issues. Good that you moved onto something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, is the new teacher from Eastern Europe/former USSR by any chance? I am Russian and a lot of moms I know specifically seek this type of teacher- pretty strict, very result oriented. It is a former USSR style of teaching.
I don't think your daughter is doing anything different from before Christmas, it is more likely the teacher.

I'll bet this is the case. The teacher is the big change that happened between then and now. Does she even have the authority to threaten you with being kicked out with no refund?
In any case, if your DD loves ballet and this new teacher sucks, I'd try and find a new school with a more relaxed approach/teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - what exactly were you told about why she might get kicked out. What were you told about her behavior. She is obviously doing something that is making her stand out from the other kids - maybe she isn't following directions, maybe she is running around, maybe she is using up a disproportionate amount of teacher time. There is something going on that you need to figure out. Obviously watching a class would be a good place to start. And asking the teacher to talk maybe before class would be better if she has another class immediately after.

Op again. The teacher doesn't show up more than a minute before class starts, so there isn't a chance to talk. I observed maybe 50 classes before they switched rooms and it became hard to watch without standing at the door (which they ask us not to do). The teacher said she wasn't listening and she understood that DD had been taking lessons for a long time but she needed to do a better job listening because it was disrupting the class. This was the first time she had ever talked to me. I don't think that this is worth all the thought I am really putting into this. Dd got kicked out of her swimming lessons last summer because she wouldn't go in the water. Oh well, she just wasn't ready for it. Maybe the same is true if this. I'll give it a few more weeks but if the teacher doesn't think she belongs in the class then that's that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

4 isn't too young to follow directions and not see it as goof off in a tutu time.

(Not OP) when is a child allowed to have goof off in a tutu if not at age 4? I'm legitimately curious. It seems like there are no opportunities to just have fun anymore. Everything is so structured and serious.

At home, with friends. Likely there is some reason to having a class other than goofing off in a tutu. Why would parents pay money to just have kids run around goofing off. They can do that at home, in the park, with their friends for free. A ballet class is just that - a class. If you sign up for a class, there is usually an understanding that you want your child to learn something, in an age appropriate way. You don't pay for a class just so your kid can run around a room goofing off. At 3-4, classes are usually to learn some of the basic movements and foundational aspects of the skill or sport. If you put your child in violin lessons, would you expect they would just run around goofing off while holding violins or would you assume there would be some kind of violin related activities in the class.

The classes are 45 minutes a week. There are 6 days and 23 hours and 15 minutes a week to find other opportunities for just having fun.

And lots of kids do have fun in classes where they are following directions and learning. Those things aren't mutually exclusive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - what exactly were you told about why she might get kicked out. What were you told about her behavior. She is obviously doing something that is making her stand out from the other kids - maybe she isn't following directions, maybe she is running around, maybe she is using up a disproportionate amount of teacher time. There is something going on that you need to figure out. Obviously watching a class would be a good place to start. And asking the teacher to talk maybe before class would be better if she has another class immediately after.

Op again. The teacher doesn't show up more than a minute before class starts, so there isn't a chance to talk. I observed maybe 50 classes before they switched rooms and it became hard to watch without standing at the door (which they ask us not to do). The teacher said she wasn't listening and she understood that DD had been taking lessons for a long time but she needed to do a better job listening because it was disrupting the class. This was the first time she had ever talked to me. I don't think that this is worth all the thought I am really putting into this. Dd got kicked out of her swimming lessons last summer because she wouldn't go in the water. Oh well, she just wasn't ready for it. Maybe the same is true if this. I'll give it a few more weeks but if the teacher doesn't think she belongs in the class then that's that.

Then it is an easy fix. Just tell your daughter she needs to listen and do what the teacher asks her too. Tell her if she wants to keep going to the classes she has to listen and not distract the other kids or the teacher. If she doesn't want to be in a structured class and just wants to run around, then take her out of ballet and go to the park instead.

[Anonymous]

I would start thinking about alternatives, just in case this class doesn't work out. It may just be not a great fit for your D and this new teacher.

[Anonymous]

I would change schools if the problem is just "not listening." I wouldn't want my dd learning from a teacher who did not take the time to talk to me first before threatening to kick my dd. WTF! And demand your money back.