Please stop on-line shopping! (A vent)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had it with my in-laws and my husband's sibs. They shop online, they have it all sent to me, and I am supposed to wrap all this stuff for my husband and kids (including my own present, btw). When I on-line shop, I pay the extra $5 for the giftwrap! What is the deal? When did it become ok to ask people to wrap their own Christmas presents?

I understand the OP's frustration. Yes, we should all count our blessings, but this really isn't about gifts. It's about being considerate and having empathy for a mother who has enough to do without wrapping a bunch of gifts from relatives who are too lazy to do it themselves.

Before we had kids, my in-laws used to send me a catalog and ask me to circle the items I liked, and send it back to them. This may seem like a lovely idea to some, but to me it was part and parcel of an overall laziness and lack of consideration on the part of my in-laws. They wanted credit for giving us gifts, but did not want to make the slightest effort to think about what we might want or need. My husband told them he didn't care what they bought us, as long as it was a surprise, so they started sending us gift cards, which is OK with me.

For me, the gifts from my in-laws were and are a substitute for real affection, respect and support, which I would prefer from them, but they never offer. So when they send our kids a huge pile of cheap plastic toys (I've asked them not to send plastic, but that request is ignored), I get angry, not because the gift is inappropriate, but because they are so careless, and want us to think well of them because they sent a gift at all. I'd rather they sent no gifts, or gave some money to a charity instead. I think it's important to put some thought into a gift, which I see as a way of showing someone you love and care about them, and want to give them a token of your esteem. For my in-laws, it's clearly an obligation that they think gets them off the hook from paying attention to their son or grandchildren. There, I've vented too.

Merry Christmas to all!

[Anonymous]

OP - can you politely ask them to have them press the gift wrap option. Maybe you can tell them that you wont have time to wrap them and wonder how they would like to present it.
Sometimes ppl dont think to do that or maybe they dont realize how much work you are doing - I agree - it is nice that you are getting gifts at this difficult time - but you also have to communicate to them, you would be surprised.
Merry xmas.

[Anonymous]

Could it be that the insensitive in-laws some PPs mentioned grew up believing/in an era where just giving a gift is good in itself? So from their perspective, what they are doing is not inconsiderate or lazy. Or it might have not occurred to them the gifts were unwrapped or what a burden it is to some of you to wrap them.

[Anonymous]

Do these folks live out of state? I think it's perfectly acceptable to just sit them under the tree. Your kids won't think anything of it. They'll just be happy to get the gifts.

[Anonymous]

2 words come to mind- gift bags! They can be reused year after year and take a lot less time than wrapping. Feel grateful that they even think of sending a gift. Or you can just leave it in the box it was mailed it. Most kids wouldn't care less. They might even enjoy the boxes more than the gift itself.

[Anonymous]

I mentally put this thread in the "mildly amusing" category until it happened to me on Christmas Eve when I went to open all those Amazon boxes that had arrived. Turns out my mom, mother-in-law and sister-in-law all sent internet orders to each of the four people in our family. It took an hour and the rest of my wrapping paper and tape to wrap it all.

I like the gift bag idea.

[Anonymous]

Ask you husband to help you wrap the presents. They are his parents, after all.

Pay a neighbor (teen?) $10 to wrap them.

Gift bags.

Hide the box somewhere in the house, write a clue on a card; have kids open the card and go on a scavenger hunt to find their presents.

Have one kid help you wrap your other kid's presents and visa versa. Explain that the holidays are about helping and sharing and use it as a learning opportunity.

Stick a bow on the box.

Let you kids doodle on the boxes with markers and crayons and let them 'create' their own wrapping paper.

Spend more time thinking of creative solutions instead of complaining...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask you husband to help you wrap the presents. They are his parents, after all.

Pay a neighbor (teen?) $10 to wrap them.

Gift bags.

Hide the box somewhere in the house, write a clue on a card; have kids open the card and go on a scavenger hunt to find their presents.

Have one kid help you wrap your other kid's presents and visa versa. Explain that the holidays are about helping and sharing and use it as a learning opportunity.

Stick a bow on the box.

Let you kids doodle on the boxes with markers and crayons and let them 'create' their own wrapping paper.

Spend more time thinking of creative solutions instead of complaining...

Love this post!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask you husband to help you wrap the presents. They are his parents, after all.

Pay a neighbor (teen?) $10 to wrap them.

Gift bags.

Hide the box somewhere in the house, write a clue on a card; have kids open the card and go on a scavenger hunt to find their presents.

Have one kid help you wrap your other kid's presents and visa versa. Explain that the holidays are about helping and sharing and use it as a learning opportunity.

Stick a bow on the box.

Let you kids doodle on the boxes with markers and crayons and let them 'create' their own wrapping paper.

Spend more time thinking of creative solutions instead of complaining...

Love this post!

I agree. Those are some great suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had it with my in-laws and my husband's sibs. They shop online, they have it all sent to me, and I am supposed to wrap all this stuff for my husband and kids (including my own present, btw). When I on-line shop, I pay the extra $5 for the giftwrap! What is the deal? When did it become ok to ask people to wrap their own Christmas presents?

I understand the OP's frustration. Yes, we should all count our blessings, but this really isn't about gifts. It's about being considerate and having empathy for a mother who has enough to do without wrapping a bunch of gifts from relatives who are too lazy to do it themselves.

Before we had kids, my in-laws used to send me a catalog and ask me to circle the items I liked, and send it back to them. This may seem like a lovely idea to some, but to me it was part and parcel of an overall laziness and lack of consideration on the part of my in-laws. They wanted credit for giving us gifts, but did not want to make the slightest effort to think about what we might want or need. My husband told them he didn't care what they bought us, as long as it was a surprise, so they started sending us gift cards, which is OK with me.

For me, the gifts from my in-laws were and are a substitute for real affection, respect and support, which I would prefer from them, but they never offer. So when they send our kids a huge pile of cheap plastic toys (I've asked them not to send plastic, but that request is ignored), I get angry, not because the gift is inappropriate, but because they are so careless, and want us to think well of them because they sent a gift at all. I'd rather they sent no gifts, or gave some money to a charity instead. I think it's important to put some thought into a gift, which I see as a way of showing someone you love and care about them, and want to give them a token of your esteem. For my in-laws, it's clearly an obligation that they think gets them off the hook from paying attention to their son or grandchildren. There, I've vented too.

Merry Christmas to all!

Oh to have these problems. As someone that has not opted for the gift wrap, let me explain the reasons. My first is that the very first time I opted for a gift wrap gift - I paid the extra money and the gift was to my boyfriend (now husband) was not wrapped. A call to the place ended up with a "credit" toward my next order. I never had another order with the company and the company went out of business. So in my mind, I always wonder if the gift really will end up with gift wrap for the extra money and it seems more hassle to find out if someone gift was wrapped and follow-up if it wasn't. Then if the gift goes to multiple people in the house - for example, the Gymboree order with a top, skirt, and tights and an outfit for a boy - how does the company know which gifts go together. My sister did spend the extra money to have the girls gifts wrapped, but we had no clue which box went to which daughter. So in my world of reasoning, why I would pay for something I don't know if the person would actually get AND if the gift is for multiple people not have a way of having the things that go together in the same box and tagged for the person. So for the in-laws, I would cut them some slack - who knows their reason. Even before the world of on-line shopping I am pretty sure my parents got money from relatives and used it to buy gifts from X relative and was up late Christmas Eve wrapping all the gifts including their own and Santa's gifts - that was part of the tradition. They would be bleary eyed from being up late putting things together and wrapping gifts. We would be up at 5am ready to see what was under the tree. Seeing as these might be things my parents may not have been able to get on their own, I am sure they were thankful to their parents. I figure this is just a vent anyway - someone in a later post had a lot of ideas on how you could cope with this. You just have to remember that not everyone thinks the same way you do and everyone was raised differently. I'm in a situation where my family is not in a financial situation to give a lot of gifts - internet shopping or otherwise so it means even more to know that they manage to get something for my daughters or my mom will send a gift for my husband's birthday. And to be honest - even when money is okay we aren't the best about getting to the post office to mail a gift out - it would have to be online shopping direct ship or face-to-face if the person is visiting before the holiday. So for me a gift is exactly that, a gift. My parents don't love me or their grandchildren any less if they are able to get a gift here on-time, send an e-gift card, are not able to get anything, or send something that isn't gift wrapped. I'm also worried my kids will get the wrong idea about Christmas. While opening the gifts are lots of fun (I'll admit it, who doesn't love getting presents), I worry that if we are in a situation where money is tight either for us or relatives that they are used to getting Christmas gifts from that the gifts will be used to measure the Christmas holiday rather than the true meaning of Christmas. I still remember the year my dad was laid off and how hard that Christmas was for everyone. It was difficult for him because he was used to going out and being able to get at least one of the items on our list and loved to see us rip into the Christmas gifts and for us there really wasn't anything under the Christmas tree. So while I am in a good situation this year - there are no guarantees that every year will be like this, and there is no guarantee that when my kids grow up they won't have a year where they won't suffer a financial setback so one of the things I want to do is make sure I make Christmas more about food, tradition and being together than about gifts under the tree (gift wrapped from on-line shopping or not).

To the poster above with the in-laws that don't like to choose anything it sounds like there are other issues there that have nothing to do with gift giving. I hope one day you are able to work it out with them.