Ripped ass during a meeting with practice group leader and client

[Anonymous]

No advice, just wanted to say sorry. I was once walking with someone who was a former friend, who became my boss, at which point we became mortal enemies. I farted during one very awkward conversation. He had to have known. Thinking about it still makes me cringe.

[Anonymous]

OP, at least you didn't let anything sneak out! The worst is to gamble and lose on that one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Biglaw attorney here. I tried to ease apart my asscheeks and let out a silent one during a meeting with a really important client and my practice group leader. We were going over discovery responses. Didn't work, and it basically sounded like I sat on a whoopee cushion. Obviously nobody said anything, but I know they heard it, and it started to smell REALLY bad a few seconds after. I am mortified. What am I going to do?

Everyone knows that you clench, dude. You don't let it slip. Or you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Rookie mistake.

[Anonymous]

LMAO!!!!! It's okay OP, we are all human. We all fart and shit. It's just embarassing when it happens in front of others. It wouldn't make me think less of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:About a year ago I let out a silent but very, VERY deadly one in a small conference room with five or six other people. It was so bad that soon after the meeting leader suggested everyone "take a quick break" (not mentioning the fart of course). I don't know if anyone ever figured out it was me, I tried to just not react but I probably still looked mortified. Anyway, a year later and I still have my job so don't fret, OP!

In the future, look around at everyone else quizzicly and mildly disgusted to deflect blame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biglaw attorney here. I tried to ease apart my asscheeks and let out a silent one during a meeting with a really important client and my practice group leader. We were going over discovery responses. Didn't work, and it basically sounded like I sat on a whoopee cushion. Obviously nobody said anything, but I know they heard it, and it started to smell REALLY bad a few seconds after. I am mortified. What am I going to do?

Everyone knows that you clench, dude. You don't let it slip. Or you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Rookie mistake.

I can't believe OP went to law school yet still needs to be taught how to fart. That should be on the bar exam as a pass/fail question.

[Anonymous]

You guys need to read the thread about pooping at work.

If you do not poop at home in the morning at home, you will keep farting throughout the day.

Poop in your intestines starts to rot and give out more gas than usual if you do not eliminate it..

[Anonymous]

This is why need to allow dogs in the office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone who says "everyone farts" is probably male.

I wrote that and I am female

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biglaw attorney here. I tried to ease apart my asscheeks and let out a silent one during a meeting with a really important client and my practice group leader. We were going over discovery responses. Didn't work, and it basically sounded like I sat on a whoopee cushion. Obviously nobody said anything, but I know they heard it, and it started to smell REALLY bad a few seconds after. I am mortified. What am I going to do?

Everyone knows that you clench, dude. You don't let it slip. Or you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Rookie mistake.

Sometimes you can't help it. I have IBS and I get surprised by some massive farts sometimes. Right out of nowhere - HUGE FART!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha ha ha!

It's fine, don't worry!
Remember that no one is thinking about you more than yourself. The people around you were concentrating on the work at hand, and only gave passing thought to your emission. They have certainly forgotten it by now!

You haven't been here very long, have you? That's one thing that DCUM lays to rest -- the BS your mom always told you, that no one notices it but you. Spend some time on DCUM and you will realize THEY ALL NOTICE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, now that you have ignored it so far, you are going to have to continue to ignore it. Until your retirement party when someone is clearly going to bring it up.

Yes, be prepared to face this in front of your entire practice at your retirement dinner.

Why do you think it would be ok to do a silent bomb in a meeting?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone who says "everyone farts" is probably male.

I wrote that and I am female

Everyone farts, but professionals with a tiny bit of self respect take it to the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

I have sympathy for the OP - when you are the junior associate, in a meeting with a sr partner and a client, it also isn't going to be looked upon kindly to just up and take a bathroom break. If one of them suggests it, fine, but to be the junior, female associate and suggest it - I can see wanting to avoid that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biglaw attorney here. I tried to ease apart my asscheeks and let out a silent one during a meeting with a really important client and my practice group leader. We were going over discovery responses. Didn't work, and it basically sounded like I sat on a whoopee cushion. Obviously nobody said anything, but I know they heard it, and it started to smell REALLY bad a few seconds after. I am mortified. What am I going to do?

Everyone knows that you clench, dude. You don't let it slip. Or you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Rookie mistake.

OP -- you're a woman and you don't know how to hold one in?

Start looking for a new job.