DW drives me crazy with her investment decisions.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had put it in cash after seeing what happened in 2000, 2008

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had put it in cash after seeing what happened in 2000, 2008

There has been no 30 year period in any of our life times where putting it in cash would have been the correct choice.

[Anonymous]

She doesnt trust you. And I dont mean about your financial expertise. Sorry. Work on that issue for a year or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It drives you crazy knowing your wife isn't maximizing her investments. But, it would drive your wife crazy to feel like she could lose her money on a given day. So, you have to let this one go. People are different, and you can't try to control them or they will resent you.

Besides, if you divorce, you won't have her income to try to micromanage anyway. It's just "bonus money" at this point.

Frankly, it could be a lot worse. You could be married to someone with a spending problem.

Stop being an ass and enjoy what you have.

Is this actually true? If they divorced, I would think that the retirement accounts accumulated during the course of the marraige would be considered joint marital assets. Therefore, if DW's account is worth 100k and DH's account is worth 500k, DW would be entitled to 200k of DH account. Maybe an attorney who practices in this area can tell me if this is accurate. If so, OP does have legitimate concerns all around. TIA.

This is all I was saying: If he divorces her tomorrow, her future income will no longer be his to micromanage. But I see your point.

[Anonymous]

I suspect a lot of posters on this thread don't get that if OP and DW are both maxing out their 401Ks, the difference between investing in an index fund and investing in cash is worth literally millions of dollars at retirement.

The amount of money DW is wasting could easily be larger than the amount of salary she earns in her career.

I would be really frustrated too if my DW were wasting that much money based on a misunderstanding of risk (particularly if I felt like I was trying very hard to solve the problem without success).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, it could be a lot worse. You could be married to someone with a spending problem.

Not really. If his wife makes under, say $80,000, he would actually be better off with a spouse who maxes out her 401(k) in an index fund and then wastes the entire remainder of her salary on trivial stuff than he would be with a wife who saves 100% of her salary for retirement but leaves it in cash. That's how big of a difference compound interest makes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh stop acting like OP is money grubbing. You do not need to be money-obsessed to be frustrated if your spouse wastes an absurd amount of your joint money. (And putting all your retirement savings in cash is a collosal waste of money; not a slightly poor choice).

+1

Probably some SAHM are posting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:sayingote=Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You married for her retirement portfolio and are down on the ROI?

OP here. No I didn't marry for her retirement portfolio. As a matter of fact, my retirement account is almost three time as large as hers mainly due to her lack of investment. And I can foresee the difference will further widen if this goes on.
It will just frustrate me when 20 or 30 years down the road we find out we could have been a LOT richer. Life is an optimization process for us although we don't always get what we wanted in the end.

You are just one sorry dude and I am so glad not to be married to such an a-hole.

Just accumulate your own damn wealth and let your wife do what she wants with her earnings.

IF you make it " 20 or 30 years down the road" and that's a big IF considering you think this might be a marriage breaker, I hope you will come to realize that an awesome marriage and life partner is worth more than being "a LOT richer."
op here. Are you saying an awesome marriage should be mutually exclusive to not wanting to waste away your expected wealth?
I hope this is not your mentality towards everything. If so, I can only say good luck with your awesome marriage.

[Anonymous]

OP, here are a couple of ideas.

1. Show her that there are different kinds of risk and that one of those risks is inflation risk. She will lose money through inflation if she's not earning anything on her money.

2. Does she get a company match? Can you convince her that the match is "free" money that she wouldn't have had anyway and to at least invest that with some risk?

Signed,
A SAHM who has a finance degree and is less risk averse than her husband

[Anonymous]

At root it has to be emotional and she would probably have to address it at that level, not just an information level. She would have to feel comfortable enough to move out of all cash.

That would drive me a bit crazy too and I am the female side of the partnership, but consider that this is the better problem to have. She is a saver. She sits on the $. There are many partners who are in despair over the profligacy and debt and out of control habits of their spouses.

Like the PP at 19:13, I would focus on inflationary risk and also the loss of compounding.

An automatic rebalancing scheme would probably help her, taking it out of her hands. Our company has financial engines on board to rebalance and I signed up. Theoretically I could do it myself, but in practice I have NEVER been able to bring myself to rebalance.

[Anonymous]

Select a CFP, make an appointment and allow your wife to hear what s/he has to say. You could give a heads up in advance that your wife is afraid to invest any of her money. See if that helps her loosen up.

[Anonymous]

People who are not bothered by how much more she could be accumulating towards retirement: Have you watched anyone who is elderly and frail try to deal with inadequate funds? Someone close to me was terrible at investing and completely impractical when it came to activities of daily living. He and his wife couldn't do a lot of the tasks that needed doing, weren't willing to move to a more-manageable place, and couldn't afford to hire someone to do things for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are not bothered by how much more she could be accumulating towards retirement: Have you watched anyone who is elderly and frail try to deal with inadequate funds? Someone close to me was terrible at investing and completely impractical when it came to activities of daily living. He and his wife couldn't do a lot of the tasks that needed doing, weren't willing to move to a more-manageable place, and couldn't afford to hire someone to do things for them.

Went to a hardware store this morning, and we were helped by a guy who looked like he was well north of 80 and most definitely not the owner. I have seen older people waiting tables in shitty chain restaurants. This is what putting all your savings in cash will likely lead to.

[Anonymous]

This may be off key here, but investing in cash is irresponsible, almost as much as someone who doesn't invest at all. I understand being conservative, but putting more than an insignificant amount of retirement funds in cash is really stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who are not bothered by how much more she could be accumulating towards retirement: Have you watched anyone who is elderly and frail try to deal with inadequate funds? Someone close to me was terrible at investing and completely impractical when it came to activities of daily living. He and his wife couldn't do a lot of the tasks that needed doing, weren't willing to move to a more-manageable place, and couldn't afford to hire someone to do things for them.

Went to a hardware store this morning, and we were helped by a guy who looked like he was well north of 80 and most definitely not the owner. I have seen older people waiting tables in shitty chain restaurants. This is what putting all your savings in cash will likely lead to.

See also: greeters at Walmart.