Just how tacky of us would this be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not tacky, it's dishonest. It's not illegal, but it's dishonest. If you are a dishonest and dishonorable person - well go for it.

It's fine to talk about and to consider doing it, but to actually do it and to live your life that under-handed way would be sickening to decent people.

Sickening? Little harsh pp...talking about some baby onesies here.

[Anonymous]

I really don't think there's anything wrong with it. They aren't your style and you have more use for the money elsewhere. We got an obscene number of toys for ds's first bday, and many were not things we wanted or needed. We returned what we could, and saved the store credit for other baby items and some different toys as needed. We were in a tight place financially at the time and it was nice to be able.to pick out some clothes and toys myself using the store credit.

I know that gifts I have given have been returned too... If you don't need or want what I give, I'd rather you buy something more suited to your needs. I would prefer to give something that the recipient loves, but that doesn't always happen. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

Don't sell them. RETURN THEM! You get more money that way. Use the dough to buy diapers, and use your own money to buy jeans. Conscience is clear.

[Anonymous]

Hey, some ppl are bad gift-givers. I am one of them... just can't think of the right thing! Whereas my sister has a knack. Anyway, I often give the wrong thing and feel a bit bad about it... but don't mind one bit that ppl might do what they want with the gift and get something they really can use.

PS: Not sure you can sell the item for the same price they purchased it, so it may not be worth your while to sell it brand new? I dunno.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't sell them. RETURN THEM! You get more money that way. Use the dough to buy diapers, and use your own money to buy jeans. Conscience is clear.

That's a better idea!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, OP. I was with you to a point, and I'm a pretty thrifty person. But you seem to be taking a little too much pride in how little you spend on baby clothes and how inappropriate it is to spend more than what you've allowed in your mind--it's crazy (twice), seems weird, spending more than $15 is quite steep (REALLY? That's about what you'd pay for a new outfit at target, and that's "quite steep" to you?)

Granted, my kid doesn't have $100 sleepers and $75 loveys, but there's certainly a huge middle ground. You seem a little obsessed with being on the opposite end of that spectrum.

As far as the gifts, to be a gracious recipient, you should take pictures of your child in some of the outfits and send them with the thank you note. It may be incredibly awkward--and even a bit rude--to send gifts that are completely inappropriate to your tastes, but it seems pretty rude as well to accept $600 worth of baby clothes and assume that since you don't see that branch of the family face-to-face, they will never see your child wearing them.

Also, were the price tags left on? How do you know how much the clothes cost?

+1

It can be as rude to brag about one's own wonderful thriftiness as it is to brag about one's nice income and ability to spend more. Not that the givers bragged -- they just had the "rudeness" to send an expensive gift. How dare they!

I agree that once a gift is given, what's done with it is up to the giver, and OP can do as she likes at this point; however, I bet that the issue of "These people spend too much and we're terrific at spending so little!" is a constant issue in OP's mind between her and these relatives. .

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't think there is anything wrong with this. I returned a $100 baby outfit gift to Saks for my newborn daughter. I felt it was ridiculous to have her wear this dress once or twice (maybe) before she outgrew it. I'm pretty sure I used the merchandise credit to buy something for myself and put $100 in her 529 account.

[Anonymous]

I think its accepted to exchange baby gifts for other baby supplies.

I can't help but question why you have to be so judgmental about the nice gift, though. Would you have really had all these same thoughts if it wasn't your SIL who got it for you, or is there something about her that bugs you?

Also to the poster who seems outright angry that the SIL bought something expensive instead of something practical: its a gift, and a nice one. All gift giving is impractical.

[Anonymous]

For my brother and SIL's first child, I sent tons of gifts for SIL and baby. Never received a thank you note. Learned she gave away many of the gifts at baby showers she attended. Gave less for the second kid. Again, no thank you card and many SIL complaints that no one sent anything for her DC2. For their third, I gave a token gift.

[Anonymous]

75% of my kids' clothes are second-hand Janie & Jack, Jacadi, Baby Dior etc... The rest their grandmother buys in Paris and sends over, and they cost the earth. I too am extremely thrifty when it comes to buying thing for myself.

I would use the clothes that you like and Baby feels comfortable in (sleeper?). There is a great deal to say for superior quality. You can either return other clothes immediately for a refund or sell the slightly used ones when outgrown to a consignment shop.

I don't consider it ungracious of your family to give you these clothes at all, nor should you be shocked. I hope you're grateful, actually, they have been quite generous. But now they're yours, feel free to do what you wish!

[Anonymous]

Since you never ever see them, I'd say it is okay to try to sell them. Do they have the gift receipt? You could even return them to the store and get the cash and buy some appropriate things or just put the full amount in college savings for your new DD or DS. My MIL crazily CRAZILY over-buys (not at upscale places, but still, buys WAY too many things more than one child needs) and I take the gift receipt and return many items to Kohl's and then put the extra into DD's college savings account. My MIL lives far far away and does not find out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you never ever see them, I'd say it is okay to try to sell them. Do they have the gift receipt? You could even return them to the store and get the cash and buy some appropriate things or just put the full amount in college savings for your new DD or DS. My MIL crazily CRAZILY over-buys (not at upscale places, but still, buys WAY too many things more than one child needs) and I take the gift receipt and return many items to Kohl's and then put the extra into DD's college savings account. My MIL lives far far away and does not find out.

I don't think the key factor in whether OP does this is whether she thinks she can get away with it.

[Anonymous]

so they barely see you, yet they send you a very expensive gift, and now you are bitching about it, and basically holding it against them? it's not selling their stuff that's bothering me here, it's your overall attitude. you sound very ungrateful and kind of obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

i really would like to know where these expensive clothes are from and what OP plans to do with a store credit to said store.

IE if these are bought from burberry, what is OP going to do with a $500 credit to burberry? not buy $60 jeans...

For the record I took back several of my DS's outfits to Nordstroms as he grew very fast (so when people gave 3Mos sizes at 10 weeks, it was already too small). Or because I had too many of that item (i could wallpaper my house in infant onesies). I see all income in our house as shared, just like I see all expenses as shared. So the $50 gift card from the return might not have directly gone to buy something for him, but he gets regular contributions to a college account and frequent other purchases for his needs. It all works out in the end.

However, barring a real reason to return it - i enjoyed the item and tried to experience the gift for what it is: something i wouldn't buy myself but is nice to have!

FWIW, my son is currently wearing a pink princess frog sleeper that his great aunt gave us! Don't worry, she also gave us one in a size 2T! We could have sold it or returned it, but we're embracing the wackiness

[Anonymous]

I too am into being thrifty and not overspending on kids clothes, but if someone sent me expensive clothes, I'd love it. I like nice things but can't justify (nor afford) the expense. I'd put them on my kid, enjoy them, and then ebay them when outgrown.