Forum Index
»
Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Would you ever leave 3 infants in a car? Even for a second?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I don't think the problem is the nanny. From the description, there seem to be no problems with her.
I think the problem is the other family. This is a share. Talk this over with the other family, and if there is no solution and you like the nanny, it may be time to find yourself a new family to share with. I don't see why the parents can't do the daycare part. For starters, this isn't a very fun errand (twice a day) for the other kids. I wouldn't want to share with people like that. (I'm not thrilled with her having 4 kids, but I don't think it is the end of the world with one in daycare most of the time.) |
Anonymous
| safety and peace of mind trump convenience (of leaving the kids in the car for "a minute"). |
Anonymous
|
All I can think is that most people here must live very removed from any larger families. I take 4 and 5 small children (depending on if/how many friends we have with us) around with me all the time. The ones who can walk, you get them to walk. The ones who can't, you put in strollers and slings or on your back. Gosh people, it's really no big deal to tote around some kids. I know families who have kids every two years (or less) and have multiples as well. That means, yeah, a mom might have to go grocery shopping and take her 4 year old, her 2 year old and her baby twins. No, it's not always fun, but it's not impossible!
So the nanny should just pull everyone out of the car to drop off and pick up the 4 year old. No biggie. The younger kids learn that they are not the center of the universe, because sometimes you have to run errands that aren't so much fun. The older kid learns patience and obedience, because she has to wait as everyone else is arranged. The nanny uses her organizational skills and keeps everyone safe. It all works out in the end. |
Anonymous
|
PP makes a good point but most nannies around here seem to work with 1, 2 , maybe 3 kids. I don't remember seeing any resumes from nannies who watched four small children. Moms who have a lot of kids develop amazing organizational skills in managing them. I think they also reduce the amount of running around. I wouldn't expect a nanny to develop these skills.
Unless the nanny is really energetic, you may run into a nanny burn out issue with 4 kids anyway. If the preschooler is sick, the nanny is probably caring for 4 small kids all day. |
Anonymous
| Why can't the parents drop off the kid and pick him up? I think it's a lot to ask the nanny to put all the kids into the car, drive to the daycare, take them all out and blah blah blah. Especially with a newborn who is on a completely different sleep/eat schedule than the rest of the kids. It's going to take her forever to get all the children loaded into the car, drive unload, walk into daycare, reload, drive home, unload. At least an hour. I think it's also a lot to ask the nanny to take care of so many kids. When they are your own, it's different. |
Anonymous
It is illegal in Virginia to leave a child in the car for even a minute. Maybe you could ask one of the parents/nannies to watch your children while you ran in. We do that all the time at my childs school is the little one is asleep for drop off or pick up. |
Anonymous
|
PP, that's just not true. People tend to get very sensational about this issue. However, if it were true that it is *illegal* to leave a child alone in a car for "even a minute" then how does a parent strap their child in the car, shut the door, and walk around to their driver door? That's leaving the child alone in the car, isn't it? What if the parent straps in the child, then stands and waves at the neighbor, then walks around the car? That could be two minutes! Would you consider that dangerous? This whole concept of zero tolerance has crept into our society at large, to the detriment of people's individual commen sense and rational thought, I believe.
Anyway, here's the VA law (which I believe has not yet been enacted): "it is unlawful for any person who is responsible for a child younger than six years of age to leave such child unattended in a motor vehicle if the conditions within the vehicle or in the immediate vicinity of the vehicle, including outside temperature, present a risk to the health or safety of the child." So see, it is not how long you leave the child alone, or even how many feet away you are from the car; it is whether or not the conditions present a risk to the child. In MD, the law does say that it is only illegal if the vehicle is out of your line of vision -- doesn't make any distinction regarding whether you are inside a building or not. |
Anonymous
|
PP, I am not confident in your understanding of Maryland law. In our PACE group, one of the moderators was a former officer with Child Protective Services. She told us that it was illegal to leave a child under 8 years of age out of sight and that in a motor vehicle was considered out of sight. Even if you are near the car, if the door is closed, the child is still considered out of your sight. It's a misdemeanor punishable by fine and court appearance. To the OP: no, I would never leave 3 infants in a car, even for a second. I don't think this is a reasonable expectation on the part of the preschooler's family. They should take the child to school in the morning. If I were the nanny I would never agree to it. I also would not feel comfortable with the way convenience for the preschooler's family seems to trump any consideration for the others affected, including the other share family and the infants. If they don't change their mind, I'd lose them.
|
Anonymous
| Okay, please help me understand. When you say you'd never leave the kids in the car alone, even for a second, or even for a minute, what on earth do you do after you strap your kids in their carseats? Doesn't anybody understand that there are indeed shades of grey here? What if you strap in your kids, then stand and tie your shoe? What if you hop out of your car to put a letter in a mailbox? There are so many scenarios where people do indeed leave their kids for "just a second" that really, honest to god, are NOT dangerous. Doesn't anybody see that? No, I"m not saying that the OP situation is safe; just that there are other situations that may be. |
Anonymous
You are being silly. this is not about tying your shoe, it is about leaving a child in a car while taking another into a building. Illegal or not, it is crazy. I would fire the nanny that left my child alone in a car while she took the other in. If four children are too much for her, she should not take it on. Or ask someone to watch the child in the car while she drops off the other. Pleaase don't make this so insane. Why are you comparing tying your shoes, or waving to a neighbor to walking inside a building. Surely you can see the difference. |
Anonymous
|
OP,
Not to sound alarmist, but I saw an episode on Oprah once - it was about people whose lives changed in an instant. One guest was a woman who left her 2 children in her car for literally 3 minutes - she could see the car also. In that time, something terrible happened - a thief got in the car (not realizing their were children in the back) and he took off -- apparently one child ended up being killed - the child tried to get out of the car (back seat) and was dragged down the street. The mother witnessed everything but could do nothing to stop this. Of course, she talked about the tremendous guilt she felt. (I don't remember all details like if the doors were locked). Obviously, the chances of this happening are very rare. I would NOT ever leave a baby/child in the car alone, not even for 3 or 4 minutes. You just never know what could happen. Please please don't do it. Also, you'd be asking too much of the nanny. |
Anonymous
|
"Pleaase don't make this so insane. Why are you comparing tying your shoes, or waving to a neighbor to walking inside a building. Surely you can see the difference. "
That was exactly my point, that there IS a difference. That there ARE shade of grey. When people come on here and say things like "I'd never leave my child alone in the car, not even for a second!", or try to argue that there are laws forbidding leaving a child alone in the car for any amount of time, it makes me think that no one is able to make subtle distinctions about anything anymore. I did say, didn't I, that I didn't consider the OP situation safe. No one should leave kids alone in a car that they can't see, to go inside a building in a non-emergency situation. |
Anonymous
|
It takes 10 minutes to pick up or drop off our kid. Our friend with twins take up to 30 minutes. With 4 kids to get in and out of the car, and into a double stroller... it would probably take 30 minutes each way.
Is that what the kids should spend their days doing? |
Anonymous
|
Oh for crying out loud. Don't leave kids in a car while you go inside a building. Is that clear enough?
And I hope the nanny is smart enough to say that this is too much responsibility for her to handle. |