How did you decide it was fiscally doable to stay at home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What type of career is such that if you take time off, you're out completely? What happens if someone is ill and can't work for a period of time in your field?

Regulatory law. Moves fast and tens of applications for every open position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would prioritize being with my kids over college savings, but not retirement savings. You've got to take care of yourself first. But if I could fully fund retirement and pay bills on one salary, you bet one of us would stay home. You any ever get these years back, and no one promises you that your kid will be college bound. (I'd be just as happy if my kid grew up to be a plumber or an electrician.)

I'd rather have the years when I can help shape his character, more than pay for undergraduate study. Alas, I can't do either, as we currently aren't making enough to runs our 401k's!

It really depends on how old you are. If you're in your late 50s or early 60s when your last child leaves for college, you can't really SAH and take care of retirement savings. Just not enough time left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What type of career is such that if you take time off, you're out completely? What happens if someone is ill and can't work for a period of time in your field?

Regulatory law. Moves fast and tens of applications for every open position.

Is there another type of law you could move towards? I have a friend who took time off from being a corporate lawyer and taught English at a boarding school for the number of years then stayed at home for a number of years. She went back to law school to take elder law type of classes and now has a thriving elder law practice. SO maybe, you don't have to throw out your entire law experience if you stayed at home for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I SAH and DH makes 65k. We manage without issue. We just bought a house, so we are still working out how much we will have left over each month for savings.

Are you quite young? Will you have 15 or 20 years left to work once your kids are out of the nest?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am a commercial litigator at a large law firm. It is very hard to get back into the law (especially litigation where you are a dime a dozen) after taking time off.

To all those saying live of DH's salary for 6 months, that is what we currently do. My income goes to paying the nanny, preschool, and additional monthly savings, i.e., college savings, additional life insurance premiums, vacation fund, etc.

Those additional savings would have to go (or we would drastically have to change our lifestyle) if I was to stay home. So I guess the question isn't whether it is actually feasible to stay home, but what were you willing to give up financially to stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What type of career is such that if you take time off, you're out completely? What happens if someone is ill and can't work for a period of time in your field?

Regulatory law. Moves fast and tens of applications for every open position.

Is there another type of law you could move towards? I have a friend who took time off from being a corporate lawyer and taught English at a boarding school for the number of years then stayed at home for a number of years. She went back to law school to take elder law type of classes and now has a thriving elder law practice. SO maybe, you don't have to throw out your entire law experience if you stayed at home for a while.

Oh, I have no desire to SAH. Just throwing out my field as an example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would try and live on the working person's salary for 6 months. Then ask yourself if you like the lifestyle.

This is what we did my entire pregnancy with DC1. We also bought a cheaper house we could afford on DH's salary. Once DC was born, we knew it was okay since we'd done it for 9 months. I think it would be really hard if you are used to spending most of both salaries. Housing costs are key to SAH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am a commercial litigator at a large law firm. It is very hard to get back into the law (especially litigation where you are a dime a dozen) after taking time off.

To all those saying live of DH's salary for 6 months, that is what we currently do. My income goes to paying the nanny, preschool, and additional monthly savings, i.e., college savings, additional life insurance premiums, vacation fund, etc.

Those additional savings would have to go (or we would drastically have to change our lifestyle) if I was to stay home. So I guess the question isn't whether it is actually feasible to stay home, but what were you willing to give up financially to stay home.

Did you say how old your kids are? I have been at home for 6 years, but in order to stay sane I spend money on PT morning preschool (as they come of age for it), occasional HS sitter, occasionally pay for indoor play places, etc. I would be miserable at home if I didn't have funds for this, and if I didn't have some close friends who SAH.

We drive newer but basic Hondas, use public school, limit extracurriculars to 1 per kid at a time, have to save up for Disney, etc. but we are comfortable otherwise. I know my DH would not support me staying home if he could not max out all retirement savings, put in 529 money, pay for life insurance, etc. He is a "saver" (thank goodness!) and he would be super anxious if he could not afford these long-term things. His car? Eh, he couldn't care less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am a commercial litigator at a large law firm. It is very hard to get back into the law (especially litigation where you are a dime a dozen) after taking time off.

To all those saying live of DH's salary for 6 months, that is what we currently do. My income goes to paying the nanny, preschool, and additional monthly savings, i.e., college savings, additional life insurance premiums, vacation fund, etc.

Those additional savings would have to go (or we would drastically have to change our lifestyle) if I was to stay home. So I guess the question isn't whether it is actually feasible to stay home, but what were you willing to give up financially to stay home.

Exactly. If you're willing to give up preschool, college savings, more life insurance (which you'd need even more with only one working spouse) etc, then I guess you could do it. I wouldn't (my kids' college education is fully funded via inheritance, as is most of retirement, but I still work - just too many unknowns).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH and DH makes 65k. We manage without issue. We just bought a house, so we are still working out how much we will have left over each month for savings.

Are you quite young? Will you have 15 or 20 years left to work once your kids are out of the nest?

I am quite young! I am looking for work and had DD#1 during graduate school. But we're certainly not suffering in the meantime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH and DH makes 65k. We manage without issue. We just bought a house, so we are still working out how much we will have left over each month for savings.

Are you quite young? Will you have 15 or 20 years left to work once your kids are out of the nest?

I am quite young! I am looking for work and had DD#1 during graduate school. But we're certainly not suffering in the meantime.

Then no worries. I didn't have my kids until my mid 30s so I was in a different situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am a commercial litigator at a large law firm. It is very hard to get back into the law (especially litigation where you are a dime a dozen) after taking time off.

To all those saying live of DH's salary for 6 months, that is what we currently do. My income goes to paying the nanny, preschool, and additional monthly savings, i.e., college savings, additional life insurance premiums, vacation fund, etc.

Those additional savings would have to go (or we would drastically have to change our lifestyle) if I was to stay home. So I guess the question isn't whether it is actually feasible to stay home, but what were you willing to give up financially to stay home.

Exactly. If you're willing to give up preschool, college savings, more life insurance (which you'd need even more with only one working spouse) etc, then I guess you could do it. I wouldn't (my kids' college education is fully funded via inheritance, as is most of retirement, but I still work - just too many unknowns).

how do you know if retirement fund is 'fully funded'?

[Anonymous]

^ how much is fully funded with so many unknowns?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am a commercial litigator at a large law firm. It is very hard to get back into the law (especially litigation where you are a dime a dozen) after taking time off.

To all those saying live of DH's salary for 6 months, that is what we currently do. My income goes to paying the nanny, preschool, and additional monthly savings, i.e., college savings, additional life insurance premiums, vacation fund, etc.

Those additional savings would have to go (or we would drastically have to change our lifestyle) if I was to stay home. So I guess the question isn't whether it is actually feasible to stay home, but what were you willing to give up financially to stay home.

Exactly. If you're willing to give up preschool, college savings, more life insurance (which you'd need even more with only one working spouse) etc, then I guess you could do it. I wouldn't (my kids' college education is fully funded via inheritance, as is most of retirement, but I still work - just too many unknowns).

how do you know if retirement fund is 'fully funded'?

There are many calculators out there. We know what we have, add what we plan to add in a very conservative ROI and see what we get. We know how we spend. There are various calculators out there to use too.

I assume a ROI without inflation, so I can see what the number "would be" in today's dollars since I know our expenses in today's dollars. I also know that we will have paid off our house before we retire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ how much is fully funded with so many unknowns?

Well you can never know for sure but we had our financial planner tell us how much we needed to save per month to retire at a certain age and with a certain income in that year's projected dollars calculated at a high inflation rate and low rate of return on our investments. We also assumed no raises and no bonuses, which is not the case. We the split bonuses between short term savings and long term savings.