I hate being a working mom!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You are very lucky. I am completely burned out between working, mothering, and trying to find some time for me, which consists of working out at 5 am. I feel like I am failing at everything, the most important of which is being a good mother.

NP here, but I could have written this. There are so many days I feel like I'm earning C's across the board and just running around putting bandaids on everything.

I love my job, and it would take a LOT for me to stay home, but I DO wish that I wasn't so frazzled at the end of the day. Just to have a leeeeetle more patience with my three-going-on-fourteen YO. If I could get someone to do the 15 mins of "leave daycare, drive home, park, carry kid and 34 bags of stuff to the house in heels, change, let dogs out, change kid b/c now she's peed herself, errrrrrgh" That 15 minute period is seriously the worst part of my day, 95% of the time.

I saw/read/heard this somewhere, and I try to remember it to calm myself down... Wife, mother, employee. You can be really good at any two of them, at any given time. But not three. So today, pick one or two. Tomorrow, maybe a different one or two. It also helps me to remember that I AM still DH's wife, and he does still deserve some of my time and energy.

But maybe not today. Maybe tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

I hear you ladies! Unfortunately, the workplace (and, really, society) simply doesn't support mothers. I say mothers not just working mothers. When mothers are supported rather than looked down upon, then maybe employers will see the value in PT schedules, flex time, etc. Until that point, mothers will feel the pressure many here have expressed to get right back to work instead of taking the time they need with their baby. It also makes it hard for SAHM to ever return to meaningful work after taking that type of time off. Respecting motherhood is the first step in changing these opportunities for mothers.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who thinks OP is lucky to get home at 5:00?

I'm not saying she can't want to be at home but getting home at 5:00 is better than many jobs allow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks OP is lucky to get home at 5:00?

I'm not saying she can't want to be at home but getting home at 5:00 is better than many jobs allow.

OP here. I realize that I could have it a lot worse. I work part time (8:30 to 4:30 everyday with the random night and weekend thrown in) so I do get 2-3 hours in the evening, but those are tough times. My kindergartener is grumpy and my 2 year old is grumpy so they end up fighting and crying. I am also grumpy because I am trying to get dinner for them on the table, get them bathed, check and respond to emails (no they can't wait until after bed, that was part of my part time deal) and spend some quality time with both.

I am really thankful for the time I do have, but I would really, really like to have the option of staying home.

That being said its nice to know I'm not alone. I also try to look on the positive side, we are financially secure, I have a wonderful husband who I love dearly, my kids are happy and healthy, and I have great friends and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks OP is lucky to get home at 5:00?

I'm not saying she can't want to be at home but getting home at 5:00 is better than many jobs allow.

OP here. I realize that I could have it a lot worse. I work part time (8:30 to 4:30 everyday with the random night and weekend thrown in) so I do get 2-3 hours in the evening, but those are tough times. My kindergartener is grumpy and my 2 year old is grumpy so they end up fighting and crying. I am also grumpy because I am trying to get dinner for them on the table, get them bathed, check and respond to emails (no they can't wait until after bed, that was part of my part time deal) and spend some quality time with both.

I am really thankful for the time I do have, but I would really, really like to have the option of staying home.

That being said its nice to know I'm not alone. I also try to look on the positive side, we are financially secure, I have a wonderful husband who I love dearly, my kids are happy and healthy, and I have great friends and family.

That is full time! I think it says a lot about the work demands a lot of people face when that schedule could be considered part time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Work is my relaxing place. Won't trade it for the world.

You are very lucky. I am completely burned out between working, mothering, and trying to find some time for me, which consists of working out at 5 am. I feel like I am failing at everything, the most important of which is being a good mother.

I agree, and I think a lot of this is the rush to return to your job after baby is born because leave is (largely, for most) unpaid and there's no real job security. Just when you get in to a routine, it changes again. Then all of your leave is used to take care of the baby (dr's visits, sick, day care/nanny issues).

It's hard, no doubt about it. There's no time to just....be.

You said it. Year two of working motherhood has been far less difficult than year one...I yearn for six months of maternity leave, not three or four, then part-time for awhile. Full time work, even good, challenging, interesting, flexible, not long hours full time work is so hard during that first year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks OP is lucky to get home at 5:00?

I'm not saying she can't want to be at home but getting home at 5:00 is better than many jobs allow.

OP here. I realize that I could have it a lot worse. I work part time (8:30 to 4:30 everyday with the random night and weekend thrown in) so I do get 2-3 hours in the evening, but those are tough times. My kindergartener is grumpy and my 2 year old is grumpy so they end up fighting and crying. I am also grumpy because I am trying to get dinner for them on the table, get them bathed, check and respond to emails (no they can't wait until after bed, that was part of my part time deal) and spend some quality time with both.

I am really thankful for the time I do have, but I would really, really like to have the option of staying home.

That being said its nice to know I'm not alone. I also try to look on the positive side, we are financially secure, I have a wonderful husband who I love dearly, my kids are happy and healthy, and I have great friends and family.

What you are describing is not part-time by any stretch of the imagination. Having to multi-task work with the kids around might actually be worse than not getting home until 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks OP is lucky to get home at 5:00?

I'm not saying she can't want to be at home but getting home at 5:00 is better than many jobs allow.

OP here. I realize that I could have it a lot worse. I work part time (8:30 to 4:30 everyday with the random night and weekend thrown in) so I do get 2-3 hours in the evening, but those are tough times. My kindergartener is grumpy and my 2 year old is grumpy so they end up fighting and crying. I am also grumpy because I am trying to get dinner for them on the table, get them bathed, check and respond to emails (no they can't wait until after bed, that was part of my part time deal) and spend some quality time with both.

I am really thankful for the time I do have, but I would really, really like to have the option of staying home.

That being said its nice to know I'm not alone. I also try to look on the positive side, we are financially secure, I have a wonderful husband who I love dearly, my kids are happy and healthy, and I have great friends and family.

What you are describing is not part-time by any stretch of the imagination. Having to multi-task work with the kids around might actually be worse than not getting home until 6.

Oh that's funny. Getting home at 6. I'm not the OP but I'm sure the alternative for her work is not getting home at 6. She might be a lawyer in an office where plenty of people either get home at 8/9 or go home earlier and are always available on email.

[Anonymous]

I would love to stay home and used to nag DH about it all the time. Right now the job market is just too shaky for me to feel comfortable with one income.

I also think the cost of living here makes it impossible for most to stay at home comfortably. I know two stay at home moms whose husbands make around 75k and they are still struggling financially.

[Anonymous]

I love being a working mom.. but then again I work from 10 - 4pm everyday.

[Anonymous]

"I hear you ladies! Unfortunately, the workplace (and, really, society) simply doesn't support mothers. I say mothers not just working mothers. When mothers are supported rather than looked down upon, then maybe employers will see the value in PT schedules, flex time, etc. Until that point, mothers will feel the pressure many here have expressed to get right back to work instead of taking the time they need with their baby. It also makes it hard for SAHM to ever return to meaningful work after taking that type of time off. Respecting motherhood is the first step in changing these opportunities for mothers."

This is so sexist.

[Anonymous]

I left a job where the overwhelmingly male bosses resented mothers and pregnant women and deliberately tried to make it tough for us.
Now, I'm at a company that respects parents and I'm sooo much happier. The company has great maternity leave benefits and my hours, 7am-3pm, are more conducive to having the work life balance we craved as a family.

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM and my husband is taking advantage of me, pushing through on his choices and decisions.
I feel powerless and cannot defend my point of view. It's not better or worse than his, it is just different- and he wins

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I hear you ladies! Unfortunately, the workplace (and, really, society) simply doesn't support mothers. I say mothers not just working mothers. When mothers are supported rather than looked down upon, then maybe employers will see the value in PT schedules, flex time, etc. Until that point, mothers will feel the pressure many here have expressed to get right back to work instead of taking the time they need with their baby. It also makes it hard for SAHM to ever return to meaningful work after taking that type of time off. Respecting motherhood is the first step in changing these opportunities for mothers."

This is so sexist.

I just substituted parent and parenthood for mother and motherhood as I read, and it sounded better.

[Anonymous]

If working moms quit their jobs, the cost of housing would plummet and everyone could afford a house on one income. (The Two Income Trap- Elizabeth Warren)