Has anyone sent their kid off to AAP without telling the kid what they're in?

[Anonymous]

It must be difficult to navigate the school environment if these little Einsteins really think they are better than other children.

It's their parents telliing them this and teaching them to regard themselves as better than their peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying hard to understand the point in not telling them...

Because there are studies that show that children perform better academically when they are praised for effort, not intelligence. If you tell them they are smart, they don't feel they have to work as hard. In the end, though, they're smart kids and they figure it out.

Also, there is a whole thread on AAP'ers bullying Gen Ed'ers. ALthough I'm not sure I believe the thread, I would want to avoid the possibility of that situation.

There are AAPers that bully other AAPers. AAP Centers are not Lake Wobegon.

I'm the quoted poster. I'm well aware that AAP'ers bully other AAP'ers. My own child has been the subject of it. I just find it hard to believe that there is rampant bullying of kids for not getting into AAP. I can see kids talking about it or bragging, but bullying over getting into AAP? Not likely IMO.

We have a child who is a gen ed student in a center school. I'm not sure if it is "bullying," but the AAP children regularly talk about how AAP is better and that they are smarter. Most people generally categorize jocks who tease unathletic kids as bullies. Center schools have AAP students who tease gen ed students for being dumb. It seems like the same thing.

[Anonymous]

I think the talking/bullying is the big downside of AAP. It certainly does not make for unity.

[Anonymous]

Our children are not yet in 3rd grade, and I have no idea whether there is an AAP vs. Gen Ed. divide at our elementary. There instead seems to be strong school spirit and a sense of community among the parents/children we know from 1st grade. But, I wonder if I'm oblivious to this AAP vs. GE divide in the upper grades or if it you all are just being dramatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine an AAP kid being so dumb that they don't know what AAP is. Weird.

OP here. Really, it's not that odd. My son (based on high test scores) will probably get in. But he is also (by my personal observation) one of the most oblivious kids in his class. He is terribly out of touch with his peers-- not because he is so "gifted", but mostly because he lacks a lot in the social skills department.

So it really is foreseeable to me that he might just start 3rd grade at a new school, in a new class, and think absolutely nothing of it. This fits my goal of "downplaying" AAP (I have two younger kids that may or may not get in), and I think it is not inconceivable that (with his poor social awareness) he could end up teasing kids who don't get in.

But you're right-- sooner or later even he will figure it out. I don't want to lie to him, or even decieve him. I do want to make sure I've thought through the appropriate "messaging" for a kid who may not be cool enough to inherently get it right by himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"the school decides to place some kids in AAP classes because they are able to learn quickly."

Don't say smarter
Don't say "...than other kids..."
Don't make a big deal out of it.

Some kids need special Ed, some need general Ed, and some need AAP. No one is destined for a life as a barista, the future is wide open for all of them.

This thought process is f'd up. I would rather my kid be a hardworking barista than an asswipe lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine an AAP kid being so dumb that they don't know what AAP is. Weird.

OP here. Really, it's not that odd. My son (based on high test scores) will probably get in. But he is also (by my personal observation) one of the most oblivious kids in his class. He is terribly out of touch with his peers-- not because he is so "gifted", but mostly because he lacks a lot in the social skills department.

So it really is foreseeable to me that he might just start 3rd grade at a new school, in a new class, and think absolutely nothing of it. This fits my goal of "downplaying" AAP (I have two younger kids that may or may not get in), and I think it is not inconceivable that (with his poor social awareness) he could end up teasing kids who don't get in.

But you're right-- sooner or later even he will figure it out. I don't want to lie to him, or even decieve him. I do want to make sure I've thought through the appropriate "messaging" for a kid who may not be cool enough to inherently get it right by himself.

You can downplay it, but please send him out into the world informed. I have a somewhat socially clueless/naive boy and I consider it my job to guide him in the right direction for what to say/what not to say by talking with him, asking him questions, and presenting hypotheticals. Think about what you want to say, but don't expect him to navigate these changes himself. I wouldn't send him into family life education unprepared, expecting that kids aren't going to talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Don't send him. DC will have the same social issues there and, I believe, in "real life" DC will be more socially inept. Attending a school where most kids have social issues will just teach DC that all people are socially awkward and that is just not reality. He will be smart if he is smart no need to push him to be awkward to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our children are not yet in 3rd grade, and I have no idea whether there is an AAP vs. Gen Ed. divide at our elementary. There instead seems to be strong school spirit and a sense of community among the parents/children we know from 1st grade. But, I wonder if I'm oblivious to this AAP vs. GE divide in the upper grades or if it you all are just being dramatic.

[list]You are oblivious!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine an AAP kid being so dumb that they don't know what AAP is. Weird.

OP here. Really, it's not that odd. My son (based on high test scores) will probably get in. But he is also (by my personal observation) one of the most oblivious kids in his class. He is terribly out of touch with his peers-- not because he is so "gifted", but mostly because he lacks a lot in the social skills department.

So it really is foreseeable to me that he might just start 3rd grade at a new school, in a new class, and think absolutely nothing of it. This fits my goal of "downplaying" AAP (I have two younger kids that may or may not get in), and I think it is not inconceivable that (with his poor social awareness) he could end up teasing kids who don't get in.

But you're right-- sooner or later even he will figure it out. I don't want to lie to him, or even decieve him. I do want to make sure I've thought through the appropriate "messaging" for a kid who may not be cool enough to inherently get it right by himself.

Sounds just like my DC. We told him he was invited to a new school because his grades were good and he worked really hard. That was enough of an explanation for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying hard to understand the point in not telling them...

Because there are studies that show that children perform better academically when they are praised for effort, not intelligence. If you tell them they are smart, they don't feel they have to work as hard. In the end, though, they're smart kids and they figure it out.

Also, there is a whole thread on AAP'ers bullying Gen Ed'ers. ALthough I'm not sure I believe the thread, I would want to avoid the possibility of that situation.

There are AAPers that bully other AAPers. AAP Centers are not Lake Wobegon.

I'm the quoted poster. I'm well aware that AAP'ers bully other AAP'ers. My own child has been the subject of it. I just find it hard to believe that there is rampant bullying of kids for not getting into AAP. I can see kids talking about it or bragging, but bullying over getting into AAP? Not likely IMO.

We have a child who is a gen ed student in a center school. I'm not sure if it is "bullying," but the AAP children regularly talk about how AAP is better and that they are smarter. Most people generally categorize jocks who tease unathletic kids as bullies. Center schools have AAP students who tease gen ed students for being dumb. It seems like the same thing.

I think perhaps the word "bullying" is being used rather loosely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying hard to understand the point in not telling them...

Because there are studies that show that children perform better academically when they are praised for effort, not intelligence. If you tell them they are smart, they don't feel they have to work as hard. In the end, though, they're smart kids and they figure it out.

Also, there is a whole thread on AAP'ers bullying Gen Ed'ers. ALthough I'm not sure I believe the thread, I would want to avoid the possibility of that situation.

There are AAPers that bully other AAPers. AAP Centers are not Lake Wobegon.

I'm the quoted poster. I'm well aware that AAP'ers bully other AAP'ers. My own child has been the subject of it. I just find it hard to believe that there is rampant bullying of kids for not getting into AAP. I can see kids talking about it or bragging, but bullying over getting into AAP? Not likely IMO.

We have a child who is a gen ed student in a center school. I'm not sure if it is "bullying," but the AAP children regularly talk about how AAP is better and that they are smarter. Most people generally categorize jocks who tease unathletic kids as bullies. Center schools have AAP students who tease gen ed students for being dumb. It seems like the same thing.

I think perhaps the word "bullying" is being used rather loosely.

"bullying" is any behavior you don't like.
"racism" is any comment you don't like that is made about a particular group.

[Anonymous]

^ I should add that a "troll" is someone who says something provacative that you don't agree with.

[Anonymous]

You child will know, no matter how you explain it.

Last year, the day after the AAP school held its orientation for kids admitted to the program, my son came home despondent because "all the smart kids", coincidentally his friends, were going to the new school.