Not addressing my age at work

[Anonymous]

To answer your question -- which wasn't really a request to be judged -- yes, I've done this, too. For me, the concern stemmed from having to manage people who were my age-ish and needing to project some authority.

I just keep my wardrobe somewhat conservative and respond honestly to pop culture references ("Oh, I wasn't really into that," etc.).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you imagine your underlings are saying OMG I can't believe she is a junior partner while she still has fertile ovaries! Women in DC have 1st babies at 45, no one cares. Don't discuss your age at work--it's gauche.

Don't think the OP was discussing her age at work. I think she doesn't want others at her level knowing her age...but they probably already know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you imagine your underlings are saying OMG I can't believe she is a junior partner while she still has fertile ovaries! Women in DC have 1st babies at 45, no one cares. Don't discuss your age at work--it's gauche.

Don't think the OP was discussing her age at work. I think she doesn't want others at her level knowing her age...but they probably already know.

What would it matter if they know? Why is age such a big secret to people?

[Anonymous]

I get it, OP. I've definitely had colleagues question my abilities and subject-matter authority b/c of my age. (I believe gender played a role as well.) The more overt challenges are fairly easy to push back on, but the subtle ones are harder. I tend to keep my age on the DL as well; although hitting 30 was a welcome milestone. They practically roll their eyes when they figure out I was born in the 80s.

[Anonymous]

For all the people imagining that nobody has a clue how young you actually are:

One word (that really ought to be two) -- LinkedIn

[Anonymous]

I'm about five years your junior, OP, in a management position, and don't hide my age. I don't flaunt it, but I'm proud of myself in terms of what I've accomplished in such a short time.

Every once in a while someone will find out my age and make a joke about it, or find out I've watched multiple episodes of Jersey Shore or know who Kesha is, and get surprised, but I just laugh. I can watch trash tv AND kick ass at work. It's not an either/or thing.

[Anonymous]

Um, you sound awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's always going to be someone younger than you climbing the rope behind you. See, if you were actually older and smarter, you'd know this.

Married at 22, Director at 23 here again. This is really true, and it was very hard for me to adapt to not being the "bright young thing" anymore. Turning 30 was rough for me emotionally, which I'm sure sounds silly to people older than me, but it's true. By that age, you're just expected to know what the hell you're doing. It's not unusual to be talented and mature at 30. I couldn't skate by on being "full of potential" anymore.

This is not a race. We all end up the same place eventually. Sounds like you need more time to be proud of you as a person and not you as a CV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People don't know how young I am. They assume I'm in my late 40s because I have two children. I just turned 30. I'm an attorney. I don't go out of my way to discuss my age...

Why does having 2 children mean late 40s, unless they're teenagers? You look 20 years older than you are?

[Anonymous]

How old are you trying to pass for? Unless its over 50, no one will think twice about you being pregnant. I assume most of the preggos at work are 35+ because that's what my circle was.

[Anonymous]

I was the youngest at my old workplace for many many years. I was surrounded by frumpy old men and women, it was rough. there was no denying I was young though and eventually 5 years in, someone younger was hired. it was a relief.

[Anonymous]

Your work should speak for itself. Respect is earned through hard and effective work. Age should not matter.

[Anonymous]

Jeez, there are a lot of judgy judies on here! OP -- I'd just try to dress conservatively and act confidently, and yeah, avoid talking about your love for Justin Bieber at work. Sounds like you're already on the right track . . . and you probably think more about this this than your co-workers do. Try not to worry too much about it.

[Anonymous]

I don't get how the age relates to the pregnancy. Around here, if you're pregnant, it usually means you're between 30 and 45.

[Anonymous]

Science f&cking sucks. You are pretending because you are undermined as a young woman.

Been there, done that. Told them to go to hell and much happier now. You don't have to pretend to be respected outside of science.