Atheists - how do you raise (or plan to raise) your kids?

[Anonymous]

Oops, meant to write "no longer relevant".

[Anonymous]

We don't go to church or practice any religion, although we do celebrate Christmas, mostly for family reasons. At Christmas, I like to emphasize the good things that Jesus stood for as a person but we leave out discussion of Jesus being the son of God and all that. We teach our children good moral values, about living in a community, making a contribution to society, caring for each other, do unto others, compassion, mercy, honor, don't lie cheat or steal - good simple human values. I tell our children they can choose any religion they want when they grow up, as long as it's a religion that accepts those core human values. At their school, they learn about many different religions. The one thing that drives me up the wall is Bible literalism - we have been very firm about rejecting anything in the Bible that is untrue (e.g., creationism, dinosaurs living with people in the garden of Eden, Earth is 6000 years old, whales are "great fish", etc.) or the parts of the Bible which contradict our core values (e.g., that people with tattoos should be stoned to death). There's a lot in the Bible that is bad or stupidly antiquated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By the way, you know that atheists still have morals and values, right? That do unto others and love thy neighbor and honor thy father and mother are not "Christian" or religious values?

Actually, they sort of are. Before the Ten Commandments, there wasn't a lot of that going on. The notions have been secularized, but they're rooted in religion.

My own belief is that the Bible is actually a handbook for civility that was written with the stories about God to capture imaginations. Much of the Jewish dietary laws, for example, look like a way to communicate basic food hygeine. The Ten Commandments largely are just common sense guidelines for civility, etc.

So, secular humanism may not be God-based but its principles are certainly derived from religious teachings.

You have it totally backwards. All religions derive their moral codes, on social norms of the times. They're based on society, not some kind of deity (and all religions borrow from each other - so much of the Abrahamic religions are rooted in Sumerian and Mesopotamian ideologies)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Religions, from the earliest belief systems, were invented to codify common sense practices of morality, hygiene, etc, to make it easier for unlettered and ignorant peoples (99.9% of the population apart from modern times) to live healthier and more stable lives. They were the first repository and mass dissemination of knowledge/rules.

Now of course that purpose is longer relevant, but people still derive emotional and cultural stability through faith and ritual.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question from a curious non-atheist -- what is the difference between raising them atheist and raising them as free thinkers? I've seen several references to that term on this thread but I'm not sure what it means, exactly.

Op here - IMO, raising your child to be a "free thinker" means to instill critical reasoning, teach the child to examine evidence and come to their own conclusions. Let them decide whether they want to follow a religion, or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question from a curious non-atheist -- what is the difference between raising them atheist and raising them as free thinkers? I've seen several references to that term on this thread but I'm not sure what it means, exactly.

Op here - IMO, raising your child to be a "free thinker" means to instill critical reasoning, teach the child to examine evidence and come to their own conclusions. Let them decide whether they want to follow a religion, or not.

Got it. Thanks for this answer and the previous one from a PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I were both raised strictly, every-Sunday Christians of different denominations and both became atheists in college and high school respectively, before we met. So far, our kids were baptized and we are going to church regularly (not strictly every Sunday, though) because we think it's important for them to have a religious background of some sort, and we have strong family connections to the church we attend. If they continue with it fine, if not, that's fine, too. I hope our kids will come to the same conclusions we did, but I recognize they may not.

You and DH are not really atheists...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question from a curious non-atheist -- what is the difference between raising them atheist and raising them as free thinkers? I've seen several references to that term on this thread but I'm not sure what it means, exactly.

Atheist PP here. I think this is the difference:

"Mommy, what happens when someone dies?"
Atheist answer: "Larla, when someone dies, we don't see them anymore because their body and mind don't work, but we have great memories of them."
Free Thinker answer: "Larla, I don't really know. Some people think that people go to a place called heaven. Other people think that people get reborn into something else. What do you think?"

why would you tell them what "some people" think, and not what you think. very odd.

Because I don't necessarily want her to think exactly like me?

If your teen chooses to earnestly believe Santa Claus is real, you will tell her "Well, some people think so...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I were both raised strictly, every-Sunday Christians of different denominations and both became atheists in college and high school respectively, before we met. So far, our kids were baptized and we are going to church regularly (not strictly every Sunday, though) because we think it's important for them to have a religious background of some sort, and we have strong family connections to the church we attend. If they continue with it fine, if not, that's fine, too. I hope our kids will come to the same conclusions we did, but I recognize they may not.

You and DH are not really atheists...

We are, just privately. Not every atheist is shouting it from the rooftops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I wasn't trying to offend. Maybe indoctrination wasn't the correct wording to use, so I'm sorry if I offended. I'm an atheist myself, and so is my husband. We are friends with another atheist couple who are quite....militant I guess you could say, about it. We are raising our kids to be free-thinkers. Just as a PP said, I hope my kids don't turn to a religion, and I would be disappointed if they did, but I would accept it as being their choice. Our friend's (the couple mentioned above) son has decided he wants to start going church. Our friends are so upset about it, they are talking about disowning him, and they are ridiculing him about being so stupid to believe in a god. I'm actually quite horrified at how they are handling this, I know that they have really talked bad about theists to their son - constantly telling him that "only stupid idiots believe in a god/religion", etc. (it's pretty much like what some fundamentalist religious parents do, just in reverse)

They pretty much won't accept anything but atheism from their son, they won't let him choose for himself (honestly, I think maybe the church thing is a way of him rebelling against them). We are at the point where we want to end our friendship with this couple, but our sons are good friends, so we don't want to hurt that relationship.

Fake.