my husband licks his fingers

[Anonymous]

Like being married to a perpetual toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When eating my DH licks his fingers or wipes them on his pants instead of using a napkin. He thinks that I am being ridiculous to criticize, and thinks it is no big deal. I find this behavior disgusting. Would you please weigh in? Thank you!

Is this something he has just started doing? Or did he do this when you were dating. If so, you knew all about it and need to deal.

As for the kids, you need to tell him that if they are following HIS bad manners, HE needs to correct them, not you. IF he is creating the problem, he needs to fix it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men marry women thinking they will never change.
Women marry men thinking they will.

NOT TRUE for me. I knew exactly what I was getting into, farts and all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it disgusting as well, but if you did not notice while date dating i think you are just going have to live with it - or leave him. These are the types of habits that never go away.

Agree. Very often, they reflect a person's childhood and where/how the family ate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of finger-licking are we talking about here? Because after Doritos or fried chicken, the best bits are on the fingers, and damn straight I'm gonna lick them.[/quote

Me too!
-DW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's absolutely disgusting and you are right to try to get him to realize that this is a bad habit. I'd say to him what I say to my DH when he talks with his mouthful or leans his forearm on the table while he eats, "Do you eat this way when you are out dining with colleagues? Is this the impression you want to give with fellow business people?" If he says, "Well, I don't do it THENNNNN. . ." Then I say, "Good, then don't do it here either."

Thanks, mom!

You're welcome, Beav!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it disgusting as well, but if you did not notice while date dating i think you are just going have to live with it - or leave him. These are the types of habits that never go away.

Agree. Very often, they reflect a person's childhood and where/how the family ate.

Agree with pp. my DH's father not only does the finger licking, but he also chews with his mouth open and talks with food in his mouth. Although My DH finds this disgusting, he often slips and does the same; likely because he grew up with this behavior at the dinner table. It is simple bad manners. I don't think bad manners are insignificant.

[Anonymous]

That is disgusting. Mostly the wiping his fingers on his pants part. Sorry OP. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

I think it is fine to have a conversation about what annoys you as long as you are 100% open to hearing the same form your spouse. You can have a conversation about what annoys, disgusts, bothers you...and ask what you do that annoys, bothers or disgusts them. You then have to graciously hear the answer without defending yourself and agree to work on it if you expect them to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Licking fingers instead of using a napkin is totally disgusting. Noisy, slurpy.... The thing that's so gross about my hubby doing it is, he never washes his hands before eating. I've seen him come home from the casino, where he has touched numerous slot machines, etc. Then he eats and licks his fingers. So gross! I pointed out to him that when he does that, he is literally licking the surface of every machine he touched in the casino. So gross. He lacks the basic respectful table manners that I was taught at a very young age. When he does it in public, I feel like crawling under the table.

I'm a neurotic hand washer...this is a hygiene thing. Eat a booger before you eat without washing your hands.

On another note, I don't understand why OPs DH can't make this small change? Relationships are compromises, and if this bothers her, make the effort. It's not like it's a big deal to use a napkin. This is such a small change that I don't even see the need to go the "I'll do this if you do that" route. Just don't be condescending to him when you bring it up like a PP seemed to be...I'm a DH, FYI, so I don't see this as a gender issue.

[Anonymous]

Unless this is a new habit, you need to live with it. It is not edifying but when you married the guy - and he married you - both should have been aware of habits and behavior that were off-putting but you still decided to get married.

You married him for better or for worse ....... this is just one of the "worse" aspects.

[Anonymous]

Is it really so offensive for OP to ask her DH to please use a napkin? How fragile is a marriage if OP can't say, "oh honey, I'm having a really hard time with your licking your fingers. It's turning my stomach, actually. I love you baby, but that's gross".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it really so offensive for OP to ask her DH to please use a napkin? How fragile is a marriage if OP can't say, "oh honey, I'm having a really hard time with your licking your fingers. It's turning my stomach, actually. I love you baby, but that's gross".

Though I guess if she's gotten to the point where she's walking out if the room then she's probably tried that long ago.
In that case I guess you have to deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it really so offensive for OP to ask her DH to please use a napkin? How fragile is a marriage if OP can't say, "oh honey, I'm having a really hard time with your licking your fingers. It's turning my stomach, actually. I love you baby, but that's gross".

Though I guess if she's gotten to the point where she's walking out if the room then she's probably tried that long ago.
In that case I guess you have to deal.

I guess so, but I still maintain that's it's pretty disrespectful for DH to not see OP's perspective. If it's like this for this small, little thing, what's going on with all the really important stuff? Where's the mutual respect and consideration?

[Anonymous]

How about rewarding the desired behavior? Tell him if he can make it through a meal without doing that he gets a bj.