Average Student at Big 3 - Where did your kid end up going to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like perhaps you and your DH have different values or purposes for having your child in a top private school. If you measure success solely by matriculation at an Ivy, then there are a whole lot of failures coming out of those schools!

If, by contrast, you are looking for a foundation for your child's long-term learning by having him in a small-class, personalized attention, college prep environment, then you might find this school to be a great success.

Is your child average because he simply is middle of the road? Is he average because he's not trying as hard as the other kids (this was me, btw!)? What does he think would change at a large public school?

What she said.

One additional points:
a 9th-grade boy is a work in progress. I know -- I have two sons in college now, both attending the same Ivy. In 9th grade one had mostly A's in and the other had mostly B's with maybe one or two A's and one or two C's. A lot can change between 9th and 11th. What might not change, though, is your DH's view of your son as a vehicle for obtaining a fancy college car decal. If your husband is going to think your son is a failure unless he goes to X University or X,Y or Z University or X,Y,Z,A,B,C,D or E University, that's pretty sad. He's probably missing out on a lot of great qualities and talents that your son brings to the table.

[Anonymous]

The way I see it is this, if your child stays at private high school he will be around kids who will ALL go on to college without question. Which schools frankly are irrelevant to me personally. Is it George Washington University or Harvard? Does it matter in the end if your child has received an excellent education up to that point and has tried their best and ENJOYED the experience of learning. If your son is happy, stay put.
Also, what kind of message will your husband be giving your son if he implies through his action of putting your child into public because he isn't getting the grades to make it a worthy"investment"? I think your husband is missing the point that private high school isn't all about the "college placement result" and misses the fact that the experience of going to a good private and BCC are vastly different. The "result" can be that you end up with a child who loves learning, had a great time in HS being around peers who were, as a group, more academically focused and all thinking ahead to college, wherever that might be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The way I see it is this, if your child stays at private high school he will be around kids who will ALL go on to college without question. Which schools frankly are irrelevant to me personally. Is it George Washington University or Harvard? Does it matter in the end if your child has received an excellent education up to that point and has tried their best and ENJOYED the experience of learning. If your son is happy, stay put.
Also, what kind of message will your husband be giving your son if he implies through his action of putting your child into public because he isn't getting the grades to make it a worthy"investment"? I think your husband is missing the point that private high school isn't all about the "college placement result" and misses the fact that the experience of going to a good private and BCC are vastly different. The "result" can be that you end up with a child who loves learning, had a great time in HS being around peers who were, as a group, more academically focused and all thinking ahead to college, wherever that might be.

You sound like you are not familiar with BCC or the Bethesda public high schools. The vast majority (94% according to the last stats) go to college. And shockingly enough to the very same colleges that the private school kids go to, including many to Ivy League schools. The majority of kids are just as academically focused and thinking ahead to college as their private school counterparts. I guess you can argue that there are 6% who don't go to college, but that includes kids with disabilities in addition to the kids who are simply not on a college track.

I went to a Big 3 school and one of my classmates chose not to go to college. Not just a gap year, not ever. And one went to Montgomery College. So not everyone is bound for top 4 year colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way I see it is this, if your child stays at private high school he will be around kids who will ALL go on to college without question. Which schools frankly are irrelevant to me personally. Is it George Washington University or Harvard? Does it matter in the end if your child has received an excellent education up to that point and has tried their best and ENJOYED the experience of learning. If your son is happy, stay put.
Also, what kind of message will your husband be giving your son if he implies through his action of putting your child into public because he isn't getting the grades to make it a worthy"investment"? I think your husband is missing the point that private high school isn't all about the "college placement result" and misses the fact that the experience of going to a good private and BCC are vastly different. The "result" can be that you end up with a child who loves learning, had a great time in HS being around peers who were, as a group, more academically focused and all thinking ahead to college, wherever that might be.

You sound like you are not familiar with BCC or the Bethesda public high schools. The vast majority (94% according to the last stats) go to college. And shockingly enough to the very same colleges that the private school kids go to, including many to Ivy League schools. The majority of kids are just as academically focused and thinking ahead to college as their private school counterparts. I guess you can argue that there are 6% who don't go to college, but that includes kids with disabilities in addition to the kids who are simply not on a college track.

I went to a Big 3 school and one of my classmates chose not to go to college. Not just a gap year, not ever. And one went to Montgomery College. So not everyone is bound for top 4 year colleges.

+1. Sometimes the naivety here surprises me.

[Anonymous]

The naiveté is pretty surprising too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to school in Boston (Harvard). There were tons of students from the prep schools in Boston at Boston College, Wellesley, Tufts, etc.

I don't know about the Big 3 from DC but I know I think the worst college a kid can get into from a school like Exeter is Boston University.

There is no guarantee just because you went to Exeter that you're guaranteed a spot at an Ivy. And while Exeter is an excellent school, it is not the end all to end all, and that is for any boarding school. Contrary to popular belief, privates and top publics are equal competition to all colleges. The colleges aren't looking to fill their slots exclusively from any one school and that includes Harvard.

And no, I'm not some parent who was jealous because their kid didn't get into Exeter. We did along with Andover and St. Paul's School but not enough dough. But DC is happy that we didn't force boarding school. They are wonderful choices but it's all about fit just as Boston U. is about fit for anyone including kids from Exeter.

The topic is about college entrance for an average student from a Big 3. If you are at the bottom of your class, you can still probably get into BU. At a public school, you may still need to be top 20% or so to get into BU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to school in Boston (Harvard). There were tons of students from the prep schools in Boston at Boston College, Wellesley, Tufts, etc.

I don't know about the Big 3 from DC but I know I think the worst college a kid can get into from a school like Exeter is Boston University.

There is no guarantee just because you went to Exeter that you're guaranteed a spot at an Ivy. And while Exeter is an excellent school, it is not the end all to end all, and that is for any boarding school. Contrary to popular belief, privates and top publics are equal competition to all colleges. The colleges aren't looking to fill their slots exclusively from any one school and that includes Harvard.

And no, I'm not some parent who was jealous because their kid didn't get into Exeter. We did along with Andover and St. Paul's School but not enough dough. But DC is happy that we didn't force boarding school. They are wonderful choices but it's all about fit just as Boston U. is about fit for anyone including kids from Exeter.

The topic is about college entrance for an average student from a Big 3. If you are at the bottom of your class, you can still probably get into BU. At a public school, you may still need to be top 20% or so to get into BU.

This is sooooo wrong. Honestly, if you have no clue, you should just keep quiet instead of making stuff up.

My former private school kid, who graduated from a MoCo public high school, got into a top ivy. Lots of other kids from DC's grade at this particular public school are also going to the same and other ivies (think HYP, Columbia and Brown). The public school counselor advised DC that BU, Tulane and such were safeties for the school's top students. I'll admit that this may depend on the public school, but there are a number of very strong public schools in the area that do very, very well in exmissions.

[Anonymous]

I agree. I was a college debator and visited all the Ivies and many of the small liberal arts colleges like Williams, Amherst, Swathmore, etc and invariably if the someone was from the DC metro area, they were from Bethesda, Chevy Chase, McLean, etc. Those public high schools send LOTS of kids to elite colleges many more than the private schools around here. Certainly enough to make an impression on someone from the Midwest who'd never heard of these high schools before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to school in Boston (Harvard). There were tons of students from the prep schools in Boston at Boston College, Wellesley, Tufts, etc.

I don't know about the Big 3 from DC but I know I think the worst college a kid can get into from a school like Exeter is Boston University.

There is no guarantee just because you went to Exeter that you're guaranteed a spot at an Ivy. And while Exeter is an excellent school, it is not the end all to end all, and that is for any boarding school. Contrary to popular belief, privates and top publics are equal competition to all colleges. The colleges aren't looking to fill their slots exclusively from any one school and that includes Harvard.

And no, I'm not some parent who was jealous because their kid didn't get into Exeter. We did along with Andover and St. Paul's School but not enough dough. But DC is happy that we didn't force boarding school. They are wonderful choices but it's all about fit just as Boston U. is about fit for anyone including kids from Exeter.

The topic is about college entrance for an average student from a Big 3. If you are at the bottom of your class, you can still probably get into BU. At a public school, you may still need to be top 20% or so to get into BU.

This is sooooo wrong. Honestly, if you have no clue, you should just keep quiet instead of making stuff up.

My former private school kid, who graduated from a MoCo public high school, got into a top ivy. Lots of other kids from DC's grade at this particular public school are also going to the same and other ivies (think HYP, Columbia and Brown). The public school counselor advised DC that BU, Tulane and such were safeties for the school's top students. I'll admit that this may depend on the public school, but there are a number of very strong public schools in the area that do very, very well in exmissions.

That was my exact point. I was saying that you may need to be around the top 20% of a public school to attend BU. If your DC was a top student at a public school, BU would be his safety. Not sure what you are arguing. No need to be so defensive.

I attended a top public from another state. It was ranked in the 30's on USNews when I was in high school. If you graduated top 10% of the class, you got into Ivy or similar. If you were top 20 in the class, you got into Harvard, Princeton or Yale. If you were top 50 in the class, you went to Cornell or Northwestern. 10-20% went to Wellesley, NYU, Tufts, or UCLA. If you were around 20%, you went to BU.

I actually think I am very familiar with college admissions as I was a bit obsessed with it when I was in high school. In my circles in college, there were a lot of valedictorians from the middle of nowhere, smart Asian kids from California, Manhattan private school kids, and Exeter/Andover/Deerfields/Choate/Groton type kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to school in Boston (Harvard). There were tons of students from the prep schools in Boston at Boston College, Wellesley, Tufts, etc.

I don't know about the Big 3 from DC but I know I think the worst college a kid can get into from a school like Exeter is Boston University.

There is no guarantee just because you went to Exeter that you're guaranteed a spot at an Ivy. And while Exeter is an excellent school, it is not the end all to end all, and that is for any boarding school. Contrary to popular belief, privates and top publics are equal competition to all colleges. The colleges aren't looking to fill their slots exclusively from any one school and that includes Harvard.

And no, I'm not some parent who was jealous because their kid didn't get into Exeter. We did along with Andover and St. Paul's School but not enough dough. But DC is happy that we didn't force boarding school. They are wonderful choices but it's all about fit just as Boston U. is about fit for anyone including kids from Exeter.

The topic is about college entrance for an average student from a Big 3. If you are at the bottom of your class, you can still probably get into BU. At a public school, you may still need to be top 20% or so to get into BU.

This is sooooo wrong. Honestly, if you have no clue, you should just keep quiet instead of making stuff up.

My former private school kid, who graduated from a MoCo public high school, got into a top ivy. Lots of other kids from DC's grade at this particular public school are also going to the same and other ivies (think HYP, Columbia and Brown). The public school counselor advised DC that BU, Tulane and such were safeties for the school's top students. I'll admit that this may depend on the public school, but there are a number of very strong public schools in the area that do very, very well in exmissions.

That was my exact point. I was saying that you may need to be around the top 20% of a public school to attend BU. If your DC was a top student at a public school, BU would be his safety. Not sure what you are arguing. No need to be so defensive.

I attended a top public from another state. It was ranked in the 30's on USNews when I was in high school. If you graduated top 10% of the class, you got into Ivy or similar. If you were top 20 in the class, you got into Harvard, Princeton or Yale. If you were top 50 in the class, you went to Cornell or Northwestern. 10-20% went to Wellesley, NYU, Tufts, or UCLA. If you were around 20%, you went to BU.

I actually think I am very familiar with college admissions as I was a bit obsessed with it when I was in high school. In my circles in college, there were a lot of valedictorians from the middle of nowhere, smart Asian kids from California, Manhattan private school kids, and Exeter/Andover/Deerfields/Choate/Groton type kids.

If that was what you meant to say, it didn't come out in your original phrasing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to school in Boston (Harvard). There were tons of students from the prep schools in Boston at Boston College, Wellesley, Tufts, etc.

I don't know about the Big 3 from DC but I know I think the worst college a kid can get into from a school like Exeter is Boston University.

There is no guarantee just because you went to Exeter that you're guaranteed a spot at an Ivy. And while Exeter is an excellent school, it is not the end all to end all, and that is for any boarding school. Contrary to popular belief, privates and top publics are equal competition to all colleges. The colleges aren't looking to fill their slots exclusively from any one school and that includes Harvard.

And no, I'm not some parent who was jealous because their kid didn't get into Exeter. We did along with Andover and St. Paul's School but not enough dough. But DC is happy that we didn't force boarding school. They are wonderful choices but it's all about fit just as Boston U. is about fit for anyone including kids from Exeter.

The topic is about college entrance for an average student from a Big 3. If you are at the bottom of your class, you can still probably get into BU. At a public school, you may still need to be top 20% or so to get into BU.[/quote]

I think it depends on the public school. At ours (one of the top ones locally) the top 20% are going to better schools. BU probably comes in to the middle of the class. But that was true at my private school too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I was a college debator and visited all the Ivies and many of the small liberal arts colleges like Williams, Amherst, Swathmore, etc and invariably if the someone was from the DC metro area, they were from Bethesda, Chevy Chase, McLean, etc. Those public high schools send LOTS of kids to elite colleges many more than the private schools around here. Certainly enough to make an impression on someone from the Midwest who'd never heard of these high schools before.

Your math is screwed. They "send many more" because the number of students in public schools in the DC area far outweigh the number in private schools. But when you look at %, er, no, the best public schools in the area do not have better placement at the top ivies than the best private school. Obviously, TJ is a massive exception

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I was a college debator and visited all the Ivies and many of the small liberal arts colleges like Williams, Amherst, Swathmore, etc and invariably if the someone was from the DC metro area, they were from Bethesda, Chevy Chase, McLean, etc. Those public high schools send LOTS of kids to elite colleges many more than the private schools around here. Certainly enough to make an impression on someone from the Midwest who'd never heard of these high schools before.

Your math is screwed. They "send many more" because the number of students in public schools in the DC area far outweigh the number in private schools. But when you look at %, er, no, the best public schools in the area do not have better placement at the top ivies than the best private school. Obviously, TJ is a massive exception

New poster. I've actually looked at a lot of the college data for local schools, and I don't see even TJ as a massive exception. It seems to send students to top colleges at about the same rate as the strong local private schools -- better than some, but not as good as other private schools. We could discuss for several pages the various factors that might explain the college success of different schools. But from what I've seen, TJ is a very strong school and certainly in the conversation with many strong private schools, but is not materially better in terms of college admissions. Again though, a lot depends on the specific high school. The difference between one private school and another can be pretty extreme, just one public school can differ pretty radically from another public school.

IMHO, conversations on DCUM are most productive if people avoid directly comparing schools with "better than" or "worse than" labels. Ultimately, it's the individual student that wins the academic award or gets admitted to college, not the high school. The success of the students from each high school is just a very rough proxy for how other students from that school might fare.

Sam2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I was a college debator and visited all the Ivies and many of the small liberal arts colleges like Williams, Amherst, Swathmore, etc and invariably if the someone was from the DC metro area, they were from Bethesda, Chevy Chase, McLean, etc. Those public high schools send LOTS of kids to elite colleges many more than the private schools around here. Certainly enough to make an impression on someone from the Midwest who'd never heard of these high schools before.

Your math is screwed. They "send many more" because the number of students in public schools in the DC area far outweigh the number in private schools. But when you look at %, er, no, the best public schools in the area do not have better placement at the top ivies than the best private school. Obviously, TJ is a massive exception

New poster. I've actually looked at a lot of the college data for local schools, and I don't see even TJ as a massive exception. It seems to send students to top colleges at about the same rate as the strong local private schools -- better than some, but not as good as other private schools. We could discuss for several pages the various factors that might explain the college success of different schools. But from what I've seen, TJ is a very strong school and certainly in the conversation with many strong private schools, but is not materially better in terms of college admissions. Again though, a lot depends on the specific high school. The difference between one private school and another can be pretty extreme, just one public school can differ pretty radically from another public school.

IMHO, conversations on DCUM are most productive if people avoid directly comparing schools with "better than" or "worse than" labels. Ultimately, it's the individual student that wins the academic award or gets admitted to college, not the high school. The success of the students from each high school is just a very rough proxy for how other students from that school might fare.

Sam2

I think the OP meant TJ is a "massive exception" among public schools. That is, its placement rates are much better than most public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the OP meant TJ is a "massive exception" among public schools. That is, its placement rates are much better than most public schools.

Ah, good point. You're probably right. Thanks for the redirection.