Husband out of work for 2 years - limited jobs in his industry - what now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP - thanks for the comments. Visiting a career counselor might help. Not sure about the franchise thing - sounds like a big risk, and a lot of upfront money. I've seen a lot of people fail in that, so its not high on my list. To the PP who said something about being too good for a job in Philly - sorry to burst your bubble - but you must think we are some other family, because my husband has never interviewed for a government job there. To the PP volunteering at political campaigns - good for you, and I'm so sorry you are going through the same thing that we are. I am starting to wonder if soon we will have to split up the family so my DH can go off to some other part of the country to find work.
I think there are so many people out there with their heads in the clouds and no understanding of what really is going on in this country with regards to unemployment, lack of jobs and the serious dire straits some of us are in.
To make matters worse, we feel like a lot of our so called "friends" have ditched us because we are no longer "in" with their crowd. Apparently being unemployed makes you some kind of leper. Its bad enough worrying about money and paying bills, but when people who you thought were your friends just stop calling or replying back to you, it really hurts. You find out who your real friends are - that's for sure.

OP, I feel your pain. No real advice because we're in a similar situation. DH is still employed (underemployed, actually), but has been looking for a new job for almost two years. He's done everything your DH has done, considered starting his own business, but nothing has worked out, and he's very upset and frustrated all the time. I'm trying to start my own business, so we need his salary, otherwise he'd quit his job, that's how unhappy he is.

OP, do you have the financial resources so your DH can go back to school to retrain for a different field? Another degree might give him the credentials he needs to edge out other candidates, or might prepare him for another field. Another poster suggested he needs sales training, and I second that. He needs to figure out what he needs to do to close the deal. Sometimes a minor adjustment can make a huge difference.

Many years ago I was extremely frustrated by my inability to find a new job, so I went back to school for a master's degree that opened doors for me and I got a job right away in the same field I had been in before. Sometimes a fresh look is what it takes, OP.

This is a very, very tough job market. There are so many qualified people running around unemployed or underemployed. When there are 150 applicants for every job, the odds are ridiculously low that you will be the one chosen for the job. When it gets down to the final candidates, everyone has similar, great experience and credentials, so at that point, very small differences can give you the edge.

I would not turn down a job opportunity anywhere. DH is still kicking himself for turning down an opportunity in another part of the country. It happened early in his job search, and he thought another would come along in a better location. Two years later, no similar job has appeared. Of course moving to another part of the country is a stressful endeavor, but it's less stressful than having no money or a miserable job.

Good luck, OP, and hang in there. Despair is your DH's enemy, so find things to be grateful for, and point out small successes to buoy your DH. A small change may be what he needs, not a major one.

Oh, and I'm sorry your "friends" have ditched you, OP. When we started having financial difficulties, a number of our friends turned their backs too. We were treated as though we had a contagious disease. Some people actually stopped speaking to us. It was shocking, but now I'm used to it. And yes, I've found out who my real friends are. It's painful, but I'm grateful I have some loyal friends at least.

[Anonymous]

PP here (the one looking out west). This has been a surprisingly friendly and positive thread! As demeaning as the anonymity of unemployment (with the inherent constant rejection and loss of friends) is, it is wonderful how strangers can be so supportive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here (the one looking out west). This has been a surprisingly friendly and positive thread! As demeaning as the anonymity of unemployment (with the inherent constant rejection and loss of friends) is, it is wonderful how strangers can be so supportive.

Based on my own experience, and those of friends, the really interesting thing is how people whom you think would return a call (i.e. former colleagues, "friends", etc.) don't while someone you barely know or a friend of a friend, will stay on the line for 30-45 minutes and give contacts and suggestions and literally bend over backwards to help.