My happiness level from 1 - 10 in my marriage is...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9 - been married 5 years with a preschooler. Sex is a little - sparse right now, so I think he'd probably rate it 7/8 but we are very happy.

Reading all this, I think I'm going to go home and have sex with my husband.

You're lucky your husband will probably say yes. I'm tired of asking mine. He admitted long ago that he could go longer without sex than I can. It's horrible to be the person always left wanting more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8 sex life is pretty bad but everything else is pretty good

I'm going to have to give it a 7 due to the same issue.

It is not for lack of trying on my DHs part, I just don't feel the chemistry with him. My drive is very high, just not for him. I respect him and he is a good husband/father, so I will suffer that aspect of my life in silence. I wish I were French and then I'd just have a boyfriend.

Are some of the things that make him a good husband and father potentially incompatible with sexual chemistry? For example, being independent and mysterious can be sexy but tend to be bad qualities for a nurturing father and husband.

Probably. I think the fact that he is so available a bit of a turn off.

In the grand scheme of things, I think the benefits of having a good father for my children and a good husband (we truly enjoy each others company) outweigh having great sex. Luckily I'm a good faker, I'd never want him to know this.

NP here. Was there EVER chemistry or did you marry him for security, etc?

There was, but never that super hot steamy sex and I am pretty sexual, so I crave that. When alcohol is involved, we do have some pretty porn worthy sessions, but I had that with prior lovers regularly....but those guys were often amazing in bed, but a hot mess in a relationship.

You can jump all over me, but I'm going to say it...his growing mid section is a huge turn off. It irritates the hell out of me because I'm the one who had the babies and work full time and have busted my ass getting back into shape and he remains sloppy. It certainly does not help things.

[Anonymous]

100, at least.

Together 20 years, married 17.

I wish we could win the lottery so we did not have to worry about money (like the unexpected $900 car repair today--so bummed), but our relationship is absolutely heavenly. Eternity is not going to be long enough to love him...

[Anonymous]

I would say 9-10 and I think he would too. We have been together 13 years, married 7 of those, have a 5 and 2.5 year old. We average 3 nights a week of sex (which is more than we used to have) and are emotionally extremely close. Neither of us are perfect, but we are perfect for each other.

[Anonymous]

8 - day-to-day arguments about household stuff, sex, life with a toddler but overall pretty good. together 10 yrs married 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100, at least.

Together 20 years, married 17.

I wish we could win the lottery so we did not have to worry about money (like the unexpected $900 car repair today--so bummed), but our relationship is absolutely heavenly. Eternity is not going to be long enough to love him...

Interesting. We have all the money in the world but a difficult relationship.

[Anonymous]

Right now, I would say I am at about a 3 and my husband would say the same. We have been together for 7 years, married only 3.

My issues with him are his lack of motivation, lack of emotion, lack of cleanliness...he just lacks a LOT. I feel like I have to be in control of the relationship all the time. I make a lot more money than he does so my financial responsibility is greater and I don't take issue with that but he has a problem with it. I guess he expects me to quit my good paying job so that I can make him feel better about himself.

He always complains about our sex life but it is difficult for me to be intimate with someone who makes my life harder to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100, at least.

Together 20 years, married 17.

I wish we could win the lottery so we did not have to worry about money (like the unexpected $900 car repair today--so bummed), but our relationship is absolutely heavenly. Eternity is not going to be long enough to love him...

I'm glad to read this. I didn't want to be the first to post a happy response. 10+++++ for me as well. We've been together 25 years. I absolutely adore him. He is a wonderful husband. And a great father to our five kids. He is my very best friend. I'm not always happy - no one is. But I'm always happy to be married to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100, at least.

Together 20 years, married 17.

I wish we could win the lottery so we did not have to worry about money (like the unexpected $900 car repair today--so bummed), but our relationship is absolutely heavenly. Eternity is not going to be long enough to love him...

I'm glad to read this. I didn't want to be the first to post a happy response. 10+++++ for me as well. We've been together 25 years. I absolutely adore him. He is a wonderful husband. And a great father to our five kids. He is my very best friend. I'm not always happy - no one is. But I'm always happy to be married to him.

Could just be a difference in metrics. I thought my 7-8 *was* a happy response! We are very pleased with each other; just not all the time and in all respects. But I consider myself damn lucky to have married as well as I did, and (I think!) she feels the same.

[Anonymous]

My marriage is a 7. I have been married 7 years. Our sex life is a 3-4. As a father my spouse is 9+. He is an amazing parent.

He lets me down entirely in the romance department. He tells me loves me often and is faithful to me. But aside from this, I might as well just be his buddy. I wish he took me on occasional dates or brought me small gifts- even a rose from 7-11 would go a long way with me. I plan every date (2-3 a year) and purchase every gift for everyone in our lives, myself included. It's a niggling complaint on the surface, but as others have noted sometimes seemingly small things things can make a big difference over time and this absence of even modest sentiment or courtship has eroded my libido over time. Sometimes when he kisses me, I feel like I am kissing my brother and this makes me feel sad.

[Anonymous]

Together for 16 years and married for 10. Four children. I would say I am an 8. I tend not to give super high scores for anything - my kidney stone was only an 8 at the ER so I score hard!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100, at least.

Together 20 years, married 17.

I wish we could win the lottery so we did not have to worry about money (like the unexpected $900 car repair today--so bummed), but our relationship is absolutely heavenly. Eternity is not going to be long enough to love him...

I'm glad to read this. I didn't want to be the first to post a happy response. 10+++++ for me as well. We've been together 25 years. I absolutely adore him. He is a wonderful husband. And a great father to our five kids. He is my very best friend. I'm not always happy - no one is. But I'm always happy to be married to him.

I'm glad to read your response!

Previous PP again...I should say it is a very rare day that we do not make love at least once. I can never get enough of him, in any way.

Our children range from teenagers on down to a seven month old baby.

As for the money issue...it's not a small thing, to struggle financially, but it is a much larger thing to not have my love. I'm sorry PP, and I wish you the best. What is hard for you?

[Anonymous]

1

He's an abusive narcissist. I'm saving up money to leave. I mean, I'm happy to try and resolve things, but I've reached a point where I just think he's a rotten person. I'm not really sure how to get that back.

[Anonymous]

9 - together 4 years, married 3.

[Anonymous]

5. Sometimes good, sometimes awful.