What is an IEP and will is stigmatize my child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't recommend IEP for any child whatsoever. This is an old post, but I'm replying so if somebody else looks this up they can see. IEP will stigmatize your child. Your child will eventually give up because everything will be handed to them throughout the years. They will believe they're stupid and many teachers will talk down to them even if they don't mean to. When or if your child ever says "I don't want to be in IEP" LISTEN TO THEM. Please talk to them about how they feel being in it. The system is incredibly flawed, but nobody seems to be saying a single thing about it, so that's another reason why I'm replying. The goal for IEP is not to help the child learn or find a certain learning ability that'll help your child learn better, but to make sure their grades look good so the school overall can look better. This means they'll basically give you the answers instead of teaching you the material. Kids in IEP will eventually give up because of this. They're drive for learning will disappear because they never had to try in the first place and constantly taken out of class during teaching time. It's absolutely horrible. I've seen students in IEP laugh about how they're the "stupid kids." I've seen teachers act passive aggressively towards these students. Teachers sometimes even say "you'll need IEP to go forward in life." Which is ridiculous because making a child think they NEED this extra 'help' to get through life is depressing. What I recommend is a one on one tutor that is willing to find out a way to teach your child in a way they'll understand better. The problem with high school is that it's all about grades, not about learning. Teachers don't look for the best way to help a child understand, but instead teach in the same generic and boring way. It's about remembering material word for word, not about learning.

Wow. STFU. If there is a stigma from IEPs, it's because of people like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't recommend IEP for any child whatsoever. This is an old post, but I'm replying so if somebody else looks this up they can see. IEP will stigmatize your child. Your child will eventually give up because everything will be handed to them throughout the years. They will believe they're stupid and many teachers will talk down to them even if they don't mean to. When or if your child ever says "I don't want to be in IEP" LISTEN TO THEM. Please talk to them about how they feel being in it. The system is incredibly flawed, but nobody seems to be saying a single thing about it, so that's another reason why I'm replying. The goal for IEP is not to help the child learn or find a certain learning ability that'll help your child learn better, but to make sure their grades look good so the school overall can look better. This means they'll basically give you the answers instead of teaching you the material. Kids in IEP will eventually give up because of this. They're drive for learning will disappear because they never had to try in the first place and constantly taken out of class during teaching time. It's absolutely horrible. I've seen students in IEP laugh about how they're the "stupid kids." I've seen teachers act passive aggressively towards these students. Teachers sometimes even say "you'll need IEP to go forward in life." Which is ridiculous because making a child think they NEED this extra 'help' to get through life is depressing. What I recommend is a one on one tutor that is willing to find out a way to teach your child in a way they'll understand better. The problem with high school is that it's all about grades, not about learning. Teachers don't look for the best way to help a child understand, but instead teach in the same generic and boring way. It's about remembering material word for word, not about learning.

Are you a parent of a kid receiving special education, a former student, or a teacher?

An IEP is not something that a child is "in." It's a document that shows what services a student should get and the specific things (goals) that those services are working on. Sometimes a modified curriculum is part of the IEP, but not necessarily.

Getting services is a hell of a lot better than failing because of the absence of services.

If high school for you was all about grades, not learning, then you either went to a bad high school or didn't get from it what you should.

[Anonymous]

+1000.

My child has an IEP. It has helped him so much. He is at a charter in mainstream classes. He is not "in IEP" and doesn't even know he has one.

[Anonymous]

IEPS mean more resources and more specialized resources for your child. The school can access outside resources (and outside budgets) to support your child for success.

[Anonymous]

My child has gone from testing into a highly competitive gifted program in another state, to being evaluated here. The report listed examples of behavior that I don't think are much outside the norm--getting excited in class, interrupting, reading at lunch instead of playing, etc. I never thought I'd say this... But I think some of the issues are cultural. All the other kids come from a different background than we do. They are into sports. They are into cheerleading. My child likes comic books and stories. When told not to do something, my child does listen. Instead of this evaluation being focused on the sensory issues my child definitely does have, they seem to be implying that everything wrong is behavioral.

I am not sure what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child has gone from testing into a highly competitive gifted program in another state, to being evaluated here. The report listed examples of behavior that I don't think are much outside the norm--getting excited in class, interrupting, reading at lunch instead of playing, etc. I never thought I'd say this... But I think some of the issues are cultural. All the other kids come from a different background than we do. They are into sports. They are into cheerleading. My child likes comic books and stories. When told not to do something, my child does listen. Instead of this evaluation being focused on the sensory issues my child definitely does have, they seem to be implying that everything wrong is behavioral.

I am not sure what to do.

How old? Are you new to the East Coast? It does seem to be somewhat conformist and alarmist here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't recommend IEP for any child whatsoever. This is an old post, but I'm replying so if somebody else looks this up they can see. IEP will stigmatize your child. Your child will eventually give up because everything will be handed to them throughout the years. They will believe they're stupid and many teachers will talk down to them even if they don't mean to. When or if your child ever says "I don't want to be in IEP" LISTEN TO THEM. Please talk to them about how they feel being in it. The system is incredibly flawed, but nobody seems to be saying a single thing about it, so that's another reason why I'm replying. The goal for IEP is not to help the child learn or find a certain learning ability that'll help your child learn better, but to make sure their grades look good so the school overall can look better. This means they'll basically give you the answers instead of teaching you the material. Kids in IEP will eventually give up because of this. They're drive for learning will disappear because they never had to try in the first place and constantly taken out of class during teaching time. It's absolutely horrible. I've seen students in IEP laugh about how they're the "stupid kids." I've seen teachers act passive aggressively towards these students. Teachers sometimes even say "you'll need IEP to go forward in life." Which is ridiculous because making a child think they NEED this extra 'help' to get through life is depressing. What I recommend is a one on one tutor that is willing to find out a way to teach your child in a way they'll understand better. The problem with high school is that it's all about grades, not about learning. Teachers don't look for the best way to help a child understand, but instead teach in the same generic and boring way. It's about remembering material word for word, not about learning.

Are you a parent of a kid receiving special education, a former student, or a teacher?

An IEP is not something that a child is "in." It's a document that shows what services a student should get and the specific things (goals) that those services are working on. Sometimes a modified curriculum is part of the IEP, but not necessarily.

Getting services is a hell of a lot better than failing because of the absence of services.

If high school for you was all about grades, not learning, then you either went to a bad high school or didn't get from it what you should.

Keep in mind that this poster may have had a valid and very different experience from you. Some parents seem to be all sunshine and roses about how the IEP lets them "access services"; but other parents and children might have very different experiences in different settings.

[Anonymous]

Not new to the east coast. Child is in third grade.

[Anonymous]

A child in 3rd grade with significant enough sensory issues to be causing problems in the classroom does need supports or accommodations. That PP needs to get a full evaluation and perhaps an FBA (functional behavioral analysis) to get to the root cause. No interventions or the wrong interventions can be equally problematic in different ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A child in 3rd grade with significant enough sensory issues to be causing problems in the classroom does need supports or accommodations. That PP needs to get a full evaluation and perhaps an FBA (functional behavioral analysis) to get to the root cause. No interventions or the wrong interventions can be equally problematic in different ways.

And, to add, that needing supports for the behaviors/sensory issues is not inconsistent with testing into a talented and gifted center.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A child in 3rd grade with significant enough sensory issues to be causing problems in the classroom does need supports or accommodations. That PP needs to get a full evaluation and perhaps an FBA (functional behavioral analysis) to get to the root cause. No interventions or the wrong interventions can be equally problematic in different ways.

And, to add, that needing supports for the behaviors/sensory issues is not inconsistent with testing into a talented and gifted center.

Agree x10. Of course there are no talented and gifted centers in DC public or charter schools, but that is a topic for another thread.

[Anonymous]

Funny seeing this thread again. I am 9:32 from the first page. DC is now in 3rd grade, still at YY. We had a few bumps but overall we are very pleased. Classroom size in our grade is between 15-17 kids with an aide/teacher in training not para or the SN teacher in the room. Also, it is very helpful that DC has known most of his classmates since prek4.

DS had a reevaluation and requalification for his IEP in 2nd grade. He had the WISC, has a very high IQ and is above grade level academically. We have had zero indication that there is a stigma from having an IEP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't recommend IEP for any child whatsoever. This is an old post, but I'm replying so if somebody else looks this up they can see. IEP will stigmatize your child. Your child will eventually give up because everything will be handed to them throughout the years. They will believe they're stupid and many teachers will talk down to them even if they don't mean to. When or if your child ever says "I don't want to be in IEP" LISTEN TO THEM. Please talk to them about how they feel being in it. The system is incredibly flawed, but nobody seems to be saying a single thing about it, so that's another reason why I'm replying. The goal for IEP is not to help the child learn or find a certain learning ability that'll help your child learn better, but to make sure their grades look good so the school overall can look better. This means they'll basically give you the answers instead of teaching you the material. Kids in IEP will eventually give up because of this. They're drive for learning will disappear because they never had to try in the first place and constantly taken out of class during teaching time. It's absolutely horrible. I've seen students in IEP laugh about how they're the "stupid kids." I've seen teachers act passive aggressively towards these students. Teachers sometimes even say "you'll need IEP to go forward in life." Which is ridiculous because making a child think they NEED this extra 'help' to get through life is depressing. What I recommend is a one on one tutor that is willing to find out a way to teach your child in a way they'll understand better. The problem with high school is that it's all about grades, not about learning. Teachers don't look for the best way to help a child understand, but instead teach in the same generic and boring way. It's about remembering material word for word, not about learning.

You are generalizing too much and your understanding of the function of IEP is too narrow.

The IDEA offers protections for kids with disabilities that inhibit their ability to receive an appropriate education. With proper IEP supports and monitoring, these kids can access services such as OT to enable them them to succeed.

NO, NO, NO. No one gives a child with IEP the answers. The child does not lose their drive to learn. Where are you getting your ideas from?

Certainly, the entire IEP process is fraught with faults. One reason is because IEP administration normally works with children who have very severe gaps between current performance and academic achievement. Or kids who have behavioral issues that affect their learning and functioning within the school setting. But it is very important to know that the IDEA law says that gifted kids with disabilities cannot be excluded from receiving an IEP.

Stigma depends on one's point-of-view. If you think that IEP is stigmatizing, try functioning with a disability that limits your ability to function and learn. The child who does not receive services will suffer more from stigma.

I would say get over the stigma and secure an IEP for your child. This will give them the access to services to help them learn and succeed in school. The alternative is much, much worse.

[Anonymous]

I second the voices who encourage you to embrace it. Make it "we" not "they" want to... Why forego extra guidance and support? Having kids in middle and high school now, I can tell you that far too often the problem for parents I know has been that the school did not want to recognize that additional resources and intervention were needed. Denying that to a child is far more damaging than any stigma, of which I see none. My child was in an integration classroom for an entire year and could still not tell you which children have special needs. "Special" is the new normal really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't recommend IEP for any child whatsoever. This is an old post, but I'm replying so if somebody else looks this up they can see. IEP will stigmatize your child. Your child will eventually give up because everything will be handed to them throughout the years. They will believe they're stupid and many teachers will talk down to them even if they don't mean to. When or if your child ever says "I don't want to be in IEP" LISTEN TO THEM. Please talk to them about how they feel being in it. The system is incredibly flawed, but nobody seems to be saying a single thing about it, so that's another reason why I'm replying. The goal for IEP is not to help the child learn or find a certain learning ability that'll help your child learn better, but to make sure their grades look good so the school overall can look better. This means they'll basically give you the answers instead of teaching you the material. Kids in IEP will eventually give up because of this. They're drive for learning will disappear because they never had to try in the first place and constantly taken out of class during teaching time. It's absolutely horrible. I've seen students in IEP laugh about how they're the "stupid kids." I've seen teachers act passive aggressively towards these students. Teachers sometimes even say "you'll need IEP to go forward in life." Which is ridiculous because making a child think they NEED this extra 'help' to get through life is depressing. What I recommend is a one on one tutor that is willing to find out a way to teach your child in a way they'll understand better. The problem with high school is that it's all about grades, not about learning. Teachers don't look for the best way to help a child understand, but instead teach in the same generic and boring way. It's about remembering material word for word, not about learning.

I know this is an old post, but I'm running into this same issue now. The school wants to put my child on an IEP. They say he "tries too hard" and they don't want him to try so hard, which doesn't make sense to me. I really wish there was a support group somewhere for parents who decline IEPs.