Private schools - for which grades does it matter the most?

[Anonymous]

If your child doesn't have learning issues either way (advanced or struggling) and you live in a decent public school district, then public for k-5. After that, private for 6-12, unless your child tests into a public magnet/special program.

[Anonymous]

OP here..

Just curious - in general, are high school magnets/test-in schools (like TJ) better than high school privates? Or should I compare them on a 1 on 1 basis?

[Anonymous]

Completely depends on the kid and their strengths and interests. The major magnet programs are all math/science oriented, if that is not the primary interest of your child by HS, then may not be the best fit. They are also very difficult to get into and based almost 100% on standardized testing.

[Anonymous]

Friends are so important at that age, and if I could avoid disruptions in grades 7-12 I probably would do so.

Agree passionately!! I'm always startled to see this near-universal developmental reality get such short shrift on the Schools fora.

ie, "oh, we'll just move to this private, and if that's Not Working Academically, we'll move in 2 years to that private, then it's always a good idea to keep reassessing every year to see if (academics) Are Working, so if not, we can keep moving, la la la." Or "we'll live in a cheaper 'hood and do charter for K-x and then move to a new home miles away to Arlington/MoCo for a strong high school ...."

seriously, please tell me you've seen that on here about 1,000 times. With few exceptions, these are always parents of 4 year olds promising to move the kids every 36 months. And the parents who have actually pre-teens and teens always point out that any move was a teen-driven decision, usually for sports or social reasons. But never because "it's better to go private for 10th - 12th grade since they have better [something academic] and I decided to unilaterally pull my 14 year old out of his school and send him to a different high school."

sorry, whew. But I wish more posters in these theoretical conversations kept this reality in mind.

[Anonymous]

I did private grades 6-8 and found it really helped prep me to get into many good high schools (both private and public magnet). The private only went up to grade 8, so there was no question of staying there through high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Friends are so important at that age, and if I could avoid disruptions in grades 7-12 I probably would do so.

Agree passionately!! I'm always startled to see this near-universal developmental reality get such short shrift on the Schools fora.

ie, "oh, we'll just move to this private, and if that's Not Working Academically, we'll move in 2 years to that private, then it's always a good idea to keep reassessing every year to see if (academics) Are Working, so if not, we can keep moving, la la la." Or "we'll live in a cheaper 'hood and do charter for K-x and then move to a new home miles away to Arlington/MoCo for a strong high school ...."

seriously, please tell me you've seen that on here about 1,000 times. With few exceptions, these are always parents of 4 year olds promising to move the kids every 36 months. And the parents who have actually pre-teens and teens always point out that any move was a teen-driven decision, usually for sports or social reasons. But never because "it's better to go private for 10th - 12th grade since they have better [something academic] and I decided to unilaterally pull my 14 year old out of his school and send him to a different high school."

sorry, whew. But I wish more posters in these theoretical conversations kept this reality in mind.

ITA! But what if your kid was able to get into a magnet for HS? Would you move him/her then? Or do you see that also as a possible disruption to a well-established peer group at MS?

[Anonymous]

From the replies on here, it seems that having different schools for Elem., MS and HS seems alright, but anything more would be disruptive?

Parents of teens, please correct me if I am wrong..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From the replies on here, it seems that having different schools for Elem., MS and HS seems alright, but anything more would be disruptive?

Parents of teens, please correct me if I am wrong..

I can only speak from personal experience but I moved schools quite a bit. Some because we moved in this area and some because we moved out of the country. I did k-1, 2-3, 4, 5-8 and 9-12 at different schools (and not feeder schools, totally different schools). It was fine. When I lived overseas many of the kids were military brats who moved every 2 years. It was seen to be the norm. 2 years is a lifetime for kids.

My kids both moved for HS and it worked out really well. I would not discount the ability to reinvent oneself after the awkward middle school years. They made great friends in new high schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From the replies on here, it seems that having different schools for Elem., MS and HS seems alright, but anything more would be disruptive?

Parents of teens, please correct me if I am wrong..

I can only speak from personal experience but I moved schools quite a bit. Some because we moved in this area and some because we moved out of the country. I did k-1, 2-3, 4, 5-8 and 9-12 at different schools (and not feeder schools, totally different schools). It was fine. When I lived overseas many of the kids were military brats who moved every 2 years. It was seen to be the norm. 2 years is a lifetime for kids.

My kids both moved for HS and it worked out really well. I would not discount the ability to reinvent oneself after the awkward middle school years. They made great friends in new high schools.

I appreciate your perspective, but mine is different. I am a counselor and work with young adults, many of whom were military brats and moved a lot as kids and teens. Many tell me that the constant moving was emotionally and socially difficult for them, and feel they are still dealing with the consequences of that. I'm sure there are plenty of exceptions, but I thought I'd mention this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.. Just curious - in general, are high school magnets/test-in schools (like TJ) better than high school privates? Or should I compare them on a 1 on 1 basis?

I'd say there's no definitive answer. Plenty of magnet parents who post on DCUM will say their kid's school is hands-down better than any private school in the world. And plenty of private school parents will say their particular school is the best. Anyone who claims without reservation that her school is unquestionably the best is full of it. It's like trying to compare an Audi against a Lexus -- both are great cars, and while some people might think the Audi is better, others think the Lexus is better.

[Anonymous]

I think if your elementary program is good, take advantage of that and then pay for middle school and maybe high school, depending on options and your kids. That's what we're doing. We've had a good ride so far in public (DCPS), but are definitely looking at private/Catholic for middle school for both kids. Then we will see where we are for high school, depending on their needs and the options.

[Anonymous]

Our 3 children all moved from public to private in either 6th or 7th grade and made a smooth adjustment, both socially and academically. Two are now in college and the youngest is still in HS; all have friends who came into their school as 9th graders with great success. I'm not saying there aren't kids who have a tough time switching schools, but most do just fine.

[Anonymous]

I hear moving into an elementary from 3rd grade on is tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From the replies on here, it seems that having different schools for Elem., MS and HS seems alright, but anything more would be disruptive?

Parents of teens, please correct me if I am wrong..

I can only speak from personal experience but I moved schools quite a bit. Some because we moved in this area and some because we moved out of the country. I did k-1, 2-3, 4, 5-8 and 9-12 at different schools (and not feeder schools, totally different schools). It was fine. When I lived overseas many of the kids were military brats who moved every 2 years. It was seen to be the norm. 2 years is a lifetime for kids.

My kids both moved for HS and it worked out really well. I would not discount the ability to reinvent oneself after the awkward middle school years. They made great friends in new high schools.

I appreciate your perspective, but mine is different. I am a counselor and work with young adults, many of whom were military brats and moved a lot as kids and teens. Many tell me that the constant moving was emotionally and socially difficult for them, and feel they are still dealing with the consequences of that. I'm sure there are plenty of exceptions, but I thought I'd mention this.

That is useful perspective but military brats are literally picking up and moving to new states or countries every few years. What we are talking about here is changing schools. To me (having changed schools several times and seeing how well my kids responded to new high schools) that is a pretty different dynamic. I attended a K-12 for HS and I think my classmates who had been there for 14 years had more trouble adjusting to college than those of us who came in middle school or HS.

[Anonymous]

We are trying to figure this out. We have done DC public (DCPS for elementary and charter for Middle). We have generally been happy with middle school and DC has a great cohort of friends (really good kids). We are considering private for HS. DC gets solid (As and Bs) grades in academically rigorous classes, and could stay for HS. The HS seems to have a fairly solid college counseling program. I keep coming back to the question of why pay for private when everything is going so well. The 140k could be used for a lot of other enrichment opportunities -- summer language and travel programs, college counseling, etc. Yet when I look at the list of colleges that visit some of the privates, private looks a little better.