Advice for Asians

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The leadership positions and creativity are based on subjective criteria. So if you do not fall into society's acceptance of those who possess skills how else can you distinguish yourself but through meritocratic means. But when those who are thought to be the leaders or considered creative also learn to game the meritocratic system they take away opportunities from those who are talented in this area but not in the other areas. In other words, the popular kids always win. But maybe such is life.

I think, as you say, that life can be like this. Yet the jock who wins football games is popular, but by high school he usually isn't winning the election for class president unless he's also really smart. The kids who earn leadership positions usually have something else to offer, besides (or instead of) good looks, athletic skills, or charm. What are these things?

1. Social Intelligence, as it's known by psychologists. At a basic level, it's knowing how to get along with people. At the advanced level, it's knowing how to manage people and get them to do things for you. It's less important in some fields, like software design. And it's less important if you're a recognized genius on an international scale - think Gates, Jobs or Zuckerberg. But social intelligence is crucial for mere mortals, like the rest of us, who want to rise up the management ladder.

2. Ambition and drive. Some kids have it, some don't. We all know adults who are happy burying themselves in a cubicle with the phone unhooked, and who have no desire to apply for a management position.

3. Aggressiveness/self-confidence. The desire to put yourself out there.

All of these are mixed up in leadership ability. So it would be wrong to undervalue these critical elements of "leadership" by writing it off as a mere popularity contest dependent on looks and charm. Colleges understand this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about legally changing your name, including your first name if you are female and your first name gives it away?

Hehe, did good for my daughter--gave her my white hubby's last name.

Are they discriminating against mixed Asians as well?

[Anonymous]

seems like discrimination is still going on. There is no reason to assume cultural diversity because you have some Asian American, African Americans or white Americans...they are all Americans. Guess the school system is still not race blind.

[Anonymous]

And then there are Asians like my DD, who has learning disabilities. She's always calling herself the only dumb Asian, which I'm forever telling her is not true, either that she's dumb or that every. single. Asian. is brilliant. Not sure how this will play out for college admissions for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about legally changing your name, including your first name if you are female and your first name gives it away?

Hehe, did good for my daughter--gave her my white hubby's last name.

Are they discriminating against mixed Asians as well?

Wouldn't she have to put your name on the form as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about legally changing your name, including your first name if you are female and your first name gives it away?

Hehe, did good for my daughter--gave her my white hubby's last name.

Are they discriminating against mixed Asians as well?

Wouldn't she have to put your name on the form as well?

Maybe just this once, instead of putting "Mary Kim and Joe Jones," PP could put "Mary and Joe Jones"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Maybe just this once, instead of putting "Mary Kim and Joe Jones," PP could put "Mary and Joe Jones"?

lol, only if you have a westernized first name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Maybe just this once, instead of putting "Mary Kim and Joe Jones," PP could put "Mary and Joe Jones"?

lol, only if you have a westernized first name.

Yes, I didn't want to suggest actually lying about that, instead of just fudging the last name!

[Anonymous]

Speaking of names, is it more advantageous to adopt a distinctively African (not AA) or Hispanic first and last name rather than picking out a white name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Speaking of names, is it more advantageous to adopt a distinctively African (not AA) or Hispanic first and last name rather than picking out a white name?

I hope you're kidding. You'd really legally change your child's name so s/he would have a better shot at being admitted to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And then there are Asians like my DD, who has learning disabilities. She's always calling herself the only dumb Asian, which I'm forever telling her is not true, either that she's dumb or that every. single. Asian. is brilliant. Not sure how this will play out for college admissions for her.

I hope it's only a phase for your daughter and that soon she realizes that there's a lot more to asian identity than so-called academic prowess. As an asian myself, I'm glad you support her in trying to raise her self-esteem regarding that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Speaking of names, is it more advantageous to adopt a distinctively African (not AA) or Hispanic first and last name rather than picking out a white name?

I hope you're kidding. You'd really legally change your child's name so s/he would have a better shot at being admitted to college?

Whatever it takes, right? Harvard is currently investigating possibly widespread cheating on a final exam.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Speaking of names, is it more advantageous to adopt a distinctively African (not AA) or Hispanic first and last name rather than picking out a white name?

I hope you're kidding. You'd really legally change your child's name so s/he would have a better shot at being admitted to college?

Whatever it takes, right? Harvard is currently investigating possibly widespread cheating on a final exam.

As is Stuyvesant HS in NYC.

[Anonymous]

How are the last two post relevant to the original post?

[Anonymous]

Man it must be so exhausting to be a teenager these days.